Loca

Jacob’s POV

After Troy had been gone for about twenty minutes, and I realized that she would still be awhile, I went for a walk. I claimed I was just going to the bathroom, but that was a pathetic lie on my part and I knew it.

I was going to find Troy.

I didn’t know what she had said to Paul, but I guessed it had been colorful.

The woods near the parking lot weren’t thick, but there were a lot of invisible hazards that if my eyesight weren’t so good might’ve hurt me pretty badly.

I didn’t know how deep Troy had gone, or in which direction. I didn’t know if she had gone closer to the lake or parking lot.

Just as I was about to admit defeat and go back and wait to ambush her, I heard a loud trampling in the woods nearby.

I knew it wasn’t Troy of course…but I still hoped.

My face was neutral as the owner of the sound stumbled out of the woods in front of me. I didn’t want to frown, but I had no choice as Destiny was now standing in front of me.

I had thrown more than enough hints that I didn’t like her. She was a bitch to Troy and she screwed around with Paul. Why would she even think I might be interested?

I swear I was going to need a restraining order put on her soon.

“Oh hey Jake,” Destiny said, with fake surprise. I nodded to her, turning back to walk behind her and towards where the lake was but she got in my way.

“You have a second to talk?” She asked, running her hands through her oily black hair and fluttering her hands to draw my eyes near her chest.

“No actually, I have to get back and see Troy…” I said evasively, starting to walk. She continued to follow me, but I figured had I said something that she would just claim to going back to the lake too.

“So how are things between you two anyways? I mean, you aren’t together are you?” Destiny suddenly said in the silence. I paused in my walking and she quickly rushed to my side.

My voice was full of pain. “Things are…fine between us. And no…we aren’t together.” I whispered, cringing.

There was a brief pause, and then she was shaking her head “Hmm shame.” Destiny said, not sounding like she meant it at all.

Depression leaked into me as it always did. I began wondering, as I always did, why I wasn’t good enough. Why I couldn’t get out of the friend zone. Why I-

“She’s an idiot for not snatching you up,” Destiny cut me off suddenly, and anger came just as fast as the depression.

“Troy is not and idiot.” I snapped, glaring at her. She stared at me innocently, and countered me in a super sweet voice.

“Funny. If I was in her shoes I’d most definitely have given us a chance. That boyfriend of hers has nothing on you. Well, I mean he is delish but that accent of his would drive me crazy...” Destiny rambled on and on and on.

I tried not to think about what she said. I didn’t want to be mad at Troy for not being with me. If she was happy nothing else mattered.

I was so bad at lying.

Destiny stroked my arm gently as she spoke, and as this snapped me back into reality, I caught her saying “You don’t have to hurt over her, I can make you feel so good you’ll forget her completely,”

Her words left this creepy chill running down my spine. Her hands were so awkward on my arm, and her voice wasn’t seductive at all, although that was what she was going for. She disgusted me so much. I would never touch her.

I jerked away from her when she squeezed my bicep. I hadn’t been paying enough attention to stop this from happening.

I was seeing red. All I could think of was how in her sick right mind she would ever think that I could forget Troy. That I would ever let her try to make me forget.

I didn’t mind hurting over Troy. I still got to be with her, even if it was just as friends. That was always what I told myself when I got like this, and right now was no different.

Anger was once again dominant inside of me as I really thought about and in turn got myself worked up over what Destiny had tried to convince me of. I couldn’t speak because of my rage and then I finally found my voice.

“That will never happen. I would never forget Troy like that.” I snarled, stomping off. The stupid bitch kept following though.

“Oh C’mon Jakey!” Destiny teased. The pet name irked me. Mainly because Troy had called me that, even if it was only, like, two times.

“No.” I said forcefully, almost running now.

“Stop following me,” I snapped, not caring anymore what excuse she pulled when she sped up too.

The sooner I got out of these godforsaken woods the better. It started to get even more humanized as I went on and I could practically taste the relief.

“Just hear me out Jake! We don’t have to do anything major…unless you want to. I just want to try you on, that’s all!” Destiny said, like it was a game.

“Your insane!” I shouted behind me. The stress, anger and other things had me walking in circles, I realized.

“She’s never going to love you like I do.” Destiny said, suddenly much quieter. I stopped cold. She didn’t just say Troy wouldn’t love me. She couldn’t have said that.

That…that was too far. She wasn’t fighting fair.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” I muttered, hurt so strong that I think I might’ve given into Destiny just to get rid of it, rippled through my chest.

“I think I do.” Destiny said, hands on my arm again.

“She has to love me,” I said defiantly.

“She loves him Jacob. She loves Hector. It’s always been him. Him over you.” Destiny whispered, standing on her tippy toes to get closer to my ear.

“Nothing has to happen that you don’t want,” She whispered again after a second.

“It’s never going to happen,” I said, but my voice was defeated. I wanted her to stop talking. I wanted this to stop hurting. I wanted…Troy. I wanted her so badly. And she just kept hurting me. Was I masochistic or something?

“Neither are you and her, so why waste your time? Nothing that happens out here has to leave; just one time only.” Destiny whispered persuasively.

“No,” I said unconvincingly. She inched closer. I could smell cheap perfume on her now. It smelled like lavender. I wanted it to be vanilla so badly. Vanilla berries and flowers…

“No,” I said again, but it was too late for that. She shushed me.

Her arms were on me, and I was past being able to resist. She pressed her cold lips to mine and I was frozen. Her arms were locked like steel around my neck, and my arms were on her waist, confused, unsure of what to do.

The one thing I was sure of though; this didn’t feel right. At all.

Troy’s POV

Five minutes after Paul had already gone back, I got back too. The first thing I did was have my eyes flash to his and note how he was completely relaxed sprawled out on a beach blanket.

We were leaving in ten, and Danni, told me that Jake had left a bit ago to use the bathroom and I should go find him and let him know.

I didn’t understand why I was being recruited for this, but I was too relieved Paul had kept him mouth shut to fuss about it.

I jogged most of the way, headed into the least humanized part of the woods. There were scarcely any trees here to make way for paths.

I really hoped Jake was done doing his business, or else this would be awkward for everyone.

The trees thickened for a moment and I ducked past them, for once not wanting to be tall. There were bugs buzzing around, but none touched me. I wondered how far Jake had gone.

And then I didn’t have to anymore because I could hear the muffled sound of his voice. I couldn’t understand the way he sounded.

“It’s never going to happen,” Jacob growled at someone.

“Neither are you and her, so why waste your time? Nothing that happens out here has to leave; just one time only.” Destiny said, her voice was cocky, like she was just waiting for him to give in. I hesitated at the edge of the underbrush concealing the two of them.

“No,” Jake said, but his voice wasn’t final, and Destiny must have seen something I didn’t because I heard her step towards him.

“No,” he repeated, even less forcefully than before. My heart was thrumming so loudly I wondered why they didn’t hear it and see me. I somewhat wished they would, because I knew then Jake would stop this. “Shhh…” Destiny cautioned.

And then it was over.

I unwilling peeked through the brush to see what I could already hear perfectly.

Something in me snapped out of place.

His lips were locked with Destiny’s, her arms constricted around his neck and his hands resting on her hips. His eyes were closed and it looked like, from the angle his head was tilted downwards and the way he held her, that he was kissing her back.

I silently turned, hands and body trembling and rushed back to the lake.

My mind and my body were both going crazy.

This horrible ripping sensation started in my chest, like my heart was being torn out. My stomach heaved and tears collected in my eyes but I wouldn’t let them fall; not for this. Not because my best friend was making out with some slut.

After I just admitted to myself I was in love with him, he goes and does that. So much for him loving me. Paul was wrong.

Wasn’t he just going to love hearing that.

I didn’t want to deal with this. This was so much worse than Hector. It hurt so much more. Because I didn’t expect it, and because my love for Jacob was so raw. It had taken him mere minutes to break my heart this way. So I felt like I’d never breathe right again.

Reaching the lake, I claimed I couldn’t find Jacob and Danni opted, since he was driving that we’d wait for him.

I lied quickly and said that I was having another ‘freak headache’ and that Paul was going to take me home so I didn’t have to wait. Danni gave me the oddest look, and was about to speak when to my luck Embry came over and distracted her.

I walked over to Paul, who was dragging his lazy ass towards the shell roads.

“Paul can you please take me home?” I whispered, unable to hide the fact that I was about to break down now. He caught on quickly and unlocked the door of his truck and I jumped in.
I was breathing heavily, trying to get my words out so I could explain to Paul why I was now crying so much.

After I got it out, I could see the look on Paul’s face that told me that he was mad. But not only mad, guilty. Because he had made me admit to loving Jake instead of staying in the dark and not getting hurt.

Jacob’s POV

I never kissed Destiny back.

Let me just say that right now; get it out of the way.

She pressed her lips on mine and hugged her body to mine tightly, trying to force a response out of me but I never gave her one.

Eventually, my brain caught onto what was going on enough to figure out how wrong it was that she was kissing me.

I thought about how right Troy would feel and how perfect her lips felt those few time I had kissed her goodnight when she was unconscious.

This didn’t feel like that. I should’ve stopped it a long time ago, but I’d have to settle for doing it now. Effortlessly, I broke Destiny’s hold and pushed her away from me.

Irritation covered her face instead of embarrassment. She tried to reattach our lips, while I kept her efforts away. I had my head on straight again, and nothing she could say would bother me anymore. It didn’t matter to me what she had to tell.

“I love Troy,” I told her, and got up without another word. I walked briskly away, not looking back, and left her behind speechless.

I wiped my lips on my arm, disgusted to see that lipstick came off onto it, and scrubbed my face clean of anything remaining.

When I finally got out, arriving on the edge of the parking lot, Danni and Embry were wrapped in each other’s arms, on the hood of my car, which upset me a little, until I noticed that no one else was here.

Geez, I didn’t feel like I’d been gone that long.

“Finally,” Embry said, pulling away from his girlfriend and getting off my VW. “Everyone else took off already.” Danni slid into the backseat cause’ Embry claimed the front. Our bags had all been shoved in from Quil’s car.

“I noticed,” I said simply, this weird feeling starting in my gut because Troy wasn’t here. I didn’t know if that was a good thing.

I mean, I wanted to see her obviously. But was it right to, since I had just kissed some slut in the middle of the woods?

I didn’t know if I could take it. She didn’t know obviously, but she would know that I wasn’t acting right.

It was just then another thought occurred to me.

Who did she leave with?

Like she read my mind, Danni spoke. “Troy left with Paul. Which was weird. I’d kill to know what happened in the woods. They got back like nothing happened and Troy went looking for you.”

Troy was looking for me? Fear pooled in my stomach as I considered that and my hands clenched around the wheel as I drove away from the lake.

I was taking Embry and Danni to his place so he could grab his car and take her home. Spending more time together without me, but I didn’t really give a care. I was glad that I had set the two of them up…

“She came back and said she couldn’t find you, and then just left with Paul.” Danni continued which both relaxed me and made me worry more.

She hadn’t found me, which meant she wouldn’t know what had happened with Destiny. But she left with Paul. Which meant I wouldn’t get to know what happened with him.

I couldn’t understand anything that would make her load up her stuff in Paul’s truck and let him drive her home, but I knew that I was going to go crazy until I found out.

Troy’s POV

“This sucks,” I muttered, angrily throwing my spoon onto the ground.

No one was home except for Bella’s truck when Paul had brought me here, and I didn’t want him to leave just yet so I invited him in.

Now we were eating ice cream and I was crying like a dumbass.

Paul didn’t say anything, lost in thought with this bitter look on his face. He didn’t touch the bowl I’d given him, and since mine was gone I reached for it.

“I’m pathetic,” I mumbled, shoving a spoonful of semi-melted cookies and cream in my mouth. Paul shook his head and sighed. “You are not.” He said forcefully.

“Yes I am. What kind of not-pathetic person falls in love with her best friend and then the second she admits it starts crying because he’s no longer interested?”

“You are not pathetic and he is interested! He loves you, I swear. How much do you wanna bet that Destiny came onto him? That he didn’t kiss her-”

“But he did though! And I shouldn’t be mad at him for that…he’s…he’s allowed to be with other girls. He’s not mine.”

Paul sighed, again, and I knew that although he was aggravated, that he still felt bad for me. I wished I could make this easier on him. He and myself, but that wasn’t happening.

“Troy-” he started slowly.

Just then the police cruiser pulled up. Bella and my dad were both inside, and talking quietly and awkwardly.

“Drop it Paul,” I muttered, and he surprisingly listened. I angrily wiped my face, ashamed that I had cried, and that I had cried so much.

“Troy!” Bella called, coming in, but then paused when she saw Paul. She saw his truck already but clearly didn’t know the owner.

My dad came through, carrying a mess load of papers. He glanced at Paul, and then kept his gaze on me. The expression on his face was worn out.

Kind of like he was trying without words to say ‘Oh no she brought another boy home who isn’t Jacob.’

“Hey Bella, hey dad; this is Paul. He gave me a ride home.” My voice barely escaped sounding like I had been crying.

Bella was giving me the oddest look. I cracked a smile.

“How was the trip,” my dad asked; I noticed he was not parting with either his gun or his uniform. Lovely.

“Interesting,” I said for lack of a better word. I tried very hard not to think about it. Paul provided the distraction, edging towards the door and looking awkward.

“Paul you don’t have t-” I started but Bella cut me off.

“We got your paperwork from school in case you decide to go to Los Angeles,” She said, ignoring Paul. I guessed that she couldn’t have stood waiting any longer, and had to tell me.

“Oh,” I muttered, eyeing the papers my dad had.

“Your leaving Troy?” Paul asked, pausing on his way out. He had his eyes on the papers too, this confused expression on his face, his thick black eyebrow arched up towards his hairline.

“I…I was thinking about it,” I muttered distractedly staring at the pile of work my dad threw onto the coffee table.

“Can I talk to you outside in that case?” Paul said, sounding, not upset, but something very opposite of that, that I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

“Ok…” I said slowly, following him out to the door. I could hear Bella and Charlie whispering behind me and rolled my eyes mentally.

“What’s up Paul?” I asked, leaning against the door once it was shut, just in case someone tried to put their ear against it.

It was black out now. I could just barely see Paul from the light that shown in from the downstairs living room.

“What’s this about a trip to Cali?” he asked me, expression calm and neutral. I hesitated for only a half a second while considering what he had asked, and then began to tell him about my brothers, but not about the money or anything.

I just said that my mom was married to a man before she was with Charlie, that I had met my half-brothers a few days ago, and that they wanted me to visit them when they went home.

Paul listened patiently, and never interrupted, only speaking once I was done.
“And you’re unsure if you want to go or not?” Paul pressed,

“Yeah…I don’t know if I could just pack up and leave like that. I have patrol…and all my friends and stuff are her- What?” I suddenly demanded since Paul was shaking his head.

“You need to go.” Paul said forcefully. I stared at him like he was crazy.

“What do you mean I need to go?” I asked, gawking at him. This made absolutely no sense to me. At all. How would running away solve any of my problems?

“Yes. That’s exactly what Im saying.” Paul repeated, ducking his head down so we were level.

“Don’t you get it Troy? Your feeling frustrated…right? Confused? Hurt? Take a break. You don’t have to deal with anything. Get away from Jacob and Hector and everything else and just relax. Get your head on straight.” Paul said, grinning at me as if I’d just made his day.

I didn’t want to do that, but as he said the words I couldn’t help but think about how I wanted to be far away from Jacob and the emotions he came with right now. So I wouldn’t have to deal with anything Paul had said…

“Are you sure? I mean…do you think I should? I’ll miss everyone like crazy…” I babbled, eyebrows pinched together with stress. Paul smoothed out the crease between them with his index finger and nodded.

“Yes, I think you should. This way you can get a little break and maybe if you want to, decide what you’re going to do about Jacob. It’ll give me some time to get the story straight for you too, if you want.” Paul whispered the last part gently.

I thought for a second…about what I wanted. And I realized that what Paul said had made more sense than anything else tonight.

“I guess you’re right,” I muttered, somewhat to myself. Paul snorted and muttered “I guess’ under his breath. I cracked a smile.

He pried me away from where I was leaning against the door and shoved me gently towards the door.

“Get going princess.”

XxX

Decisions and phone calls made, I headed up to bed, feeling worn out. Paul had left immediately after making his point and when my dad asked me, suspiciously of course, what he had said, I simply told him that I wanted to go see my brothers.

Once in my room, I grabbed my bathroom stuff and quickly showered and changed. I was just finally climbing into bed before realizing that the rain had started up outside.

“The nice weather seems to be over.” I whispered to myself, closing the curtains on mine and Bella’s window and laying down in bed. I knew it, just like everything else, would be worse by tomorrow.

After a few minutes, my phone buzzed where it was plugged into the wall, and I got up to see Jacob was calling me.

I let it go to voice mail and went back to bed.