Loca

Morning came faster then I expected.

You'd think that since I was so restless and pathetically heart broken last night, that the night would be endless, but to my relief I was too exhausted to suffer.

It felt nice to sleep in real bed instead of on padding on the ground, and to have the comfort of the roof over my head so I wouldn't really have to worry if the rain appeared.

Which it did by the way, at sometime during the night as I slept.

Feeling the frown on face, I stayed limp for a long time before I realized I didn't have too much time to waste today and I dragged myself out of bed and got dressed for the day.

Bella still had school today, and my dad had to work, but I didn't, so I was home alone today. I was sure I wasn't the only one ditching either.

I wasn't going to be in school for the next week in a half. The day after tomorrow, I was taking off.

For today and tomorrow though, I had an agenda, and I needed to get on it as soon as possible.

When I made it to the bathroom, about to shower because I hadn't in three days, I happened to catch a glance at myself in the mirror.

I looked tired and sad. Not surprising, but other than that I looked like me.

Plain and simple. Brown hair and eyes, with pale skin I blamed Charlie for. My lips were a bit uneven, a bit too full.

I was perfectly ordinary. Perfectly fine.

And yet I still couldn't help but to compare myself to the girl that had my been in my best friend's arms yesterday.

XxX

Luckily, Edward had picked Bella up for school today, so I was not without means of transportation.

The roar of Bella's truck started a slight headache, but I ignored it as I drove towards the place that used to be my haven.

Hector's house was abandoned when I showed up, but I wasn't disturbed by that. I knew he would most likely be in the shop with his dad or someone.

I parked Bella's truck again, this time outside of the auto shop. Raphael was at the front office of the store, papers spread out on his desk as he talked on the phone. Smiling a huge smile and waving at me, he gestured to show me that Hector was out back.

I nodded to him as I moved into the second middle room containing parts and past the last door into the large area holding cars.

Hector actually wasn't out here, but I figured he'd be back in a second, and I actually wasn't quite ready to see him just yet.

I hadn't been here in so long, I really missed this place.

I kicked a lug nut that was lying on the ground and it skid across the room before bouncing off the bottom of the closest wall and into the open door of the only closet in the place.

I walked over to pick it up and when I looked inside I saw that there was a shape under a dark blue tarp that most definitely had not been there before. It looked like a motorcycle to me.

Curious, I went to take the tarp off but I didn't get the chance because a hand fell onto my shoulder.

I jumped and accidentally elbowed Hector in the ribs non-to-gently.

"Ouch! Dammit!" Hector hissed before stepping back from me and mumbling profanities in Spanish.

"Sorry," I said sheepishly, but I didn't feel too guilty because he snuck up on me. Not that it was hard to do at the moment.

"No worries," Hector muttered, rubbing the spot where I hit him and smiling at me as if he were waiting for another hit. I rolled my eyes at him.

"What are you doing in here Loba?" Hector asked, placing his hands on my waist and putting himself between me and the mystery item.

"I'm aloud to visit my boyfriend," I said simply, and then quickly added what was on my mind currently. "Whats that?" I nodded towards the tarp.

Hector shrugged and avoided my eyes, staring at it. "One of my dad's 'mystery projects.' I didn't peak yet. Figure' he'll show me when hes finished." he said easily. I pouted at him.

"Your so lame," I muttered, trying to see around his body.

He laughed at me, "Yeah I know, everyone else would've already looked."

Hector pushed me forward slightly, shutting the door when I stumbled back a little before locking it. I probably could've opened the door with a card or a pin, but I let it slide because I really didn't come here to get a breaking and entering charge.

Thinking of the reason I was here, had a frown on my face fast.

Hector looked down at me, darkness falling over his face too when he saw mine and his hand curled around my neck so I had to look up at him.

"Why the long face?" He asked, and I shrugged. "No reason," I lied, unsuccessfully avoiding Hector's hard gaze.

"C'mon Troy, don't lie, you know I can tell when somethings wrong with you."

You used to. I thought to myself, lately I've been getting a lot past you.

"I just...I have to tell you something." I said, grabbing his hand and leading him out of the shop so I could breathe better.

"Tell me what?" He asked, suddenly very worried, I rubbed his arm to reassure him.

"Stop worrying, its just that...my brothers I told you about, they want me to come visit them in L.A. so I'm gonna be out of time for a while. I'll miss patrol and school...and I wont get to see you..." Even less than I already did.

Hector looked at me, relief and sadness mixing together on his features.

"Your leaving?" he asked sadly. I nodded, my shoulders feeling as if just a little of their weight had been lifted. Although I had dreaded telling Hector, he wasn't my main concern.

He wasn't the one I was in love with. Or the one who'd be truly upset.

Hector was quiet for a long while, both of us staring at each other, lost in our own thoughts. He dragged in a long breath after a while, and exhaled heavily.

"I'm gonna miss you Loba...but I guess if this is something you have to do..." Hector's face scrunched up as his lips sort of played with a smile.

I hugged my best friend, smiling into his chest and feeling his warm arms wrapped around me.

"Thanks Hec," I muttered into his chest before pulling away and taking a semi-step back, making it seem as if I was just trying to see his face better.

I kept quiet after that, not wanting to get to wrapped up in emotional conversations. Especially when I was trying to remember that Hector was a two-timer.

I didn't know if it was that he wanted to control me, or if he actually did care about me and Lizzie and just didnt want to hurt our previous relationship by ending the current one.

Hurting me was probably...not what he was trying to do. It couldn't have been.Hector was my best friend. He always had been. But lately he was changing and I had to say that I don't know if it was a good thing or not.

Quite frankly it wasn't something I would be willing to find out.

Despite everything though there wouldn't be any explanation that could make cheating okay. I'd rather us break up than to be toyed with like this. Its amazing how much I'd prefer that.

"Did you tell anyone else?" he asked, curious. I shook my head, "No I thought you should know first." I muttered.

"Even over Jacob?" he asked bitterly, angrily. I stiffened and gritted my teeth. Damn him for bringing that up.

"Jacob...is probably going to be the last person I tell." I mumbled.

"Because...?" Hector pressed, staring down at me. I glared up at him. "Because your more rational than he is. He'll be upset. He doesn't understand that I need this trip, not like you do." I ranted, trying to think around what was leaving my big mouth.

Hector watched me, bitterness leaving his face so that curiosity showed. He even cracked a smile. "Funny, the way you talk about and mention him you make it seem as if he can do no wrong."

I stared at him blankly and he wrapped his arm around me like before.

"You used to talk about me like that," he mumbled, so quietly I barely heard, but I could hear a small mixture emotions.

"What happened to us?" I mumbled. Hector stiffened around me, and then he sighed.

"I know...everything's so different now..." Hector whispered starting to rock us back and forth. I closed my eyes as I tried not to think, but the memories came anyways.

Back when Hector and I were closer than anything. When he's skip school to keep me company when I was sick, and beat the life out of anyone who messed with me...back before I could take care of myself that is.

"This sucks," I mumbled, pouting whilst glaring at nothing.

Hector tilted my face up and his face was dark. "Yeah, things used to be a lot easier " he grumbled, his arms tightening around me before loosening up. Guilt flashed across his face so fast I wouldn't have noticed if I wasn't expecting it.

I wrestled my way out of his hold and nodded at him. "Guess we just have to make the best of it," I said easily. I knew I would.

Hector nodded, smiling down at me, the dark expression pulling away.

"So...what are you gonna do now?" he asked me, changing the subject faster than I'd have imagined possible.

I chewed on my lip as I considered that, trying not to get uncomfortable by Hector's staring at me so shamelessly.

"I gotta tell everyone else. Either track them down or call them..." I said, and Hector looked off into the distance, his thinking face on. His hazel eyes seemed to light up a bit as he looked at me again.

"You could do that...or you could always just invite everyone that matters to one place and tell them all at once." he said, kinda obviously, which it was. I probably should've thought of it myself, but I was so focused on getting Jacob by himself.

That probably wasn't the kind of news he should hear with a crowd, but Hector's idea was still the easiest option I had in the long run...why not?

"We could meet up at La Push," I said, kinda hesitantly because that was Jacob's territory.

Hector wasn't bothered by that idea though, probably because it was his idea and he wasn't going to jeopardize it by bringing up something that had already been discussed today.

"If you want...you can get a hold of your La Push friends, and I can get our pack..." he suggested, smiling sweetly at me.

I hugged him around his neck, and then kissed my cheating best friend of a boyfriend.

XxX

After I left Hectors, having called up Jake and Paul and having them pass on the message that we were all gonna hang on the beach, I decided it'd be best to meet Jake at his place ahead of time.

When i pulled up, he was already in the doorway, smiling at me the same way he always does, like nothing had happened last night, and he hadn't smeared Destiny's expensive lip gloss in the middle of the woods yesterday.

"Troy," Jake breathed, yanking me out of the truck. His voice was relieved somehow, like seeing me had just taken this huge weight off his shoulders.

Jacob face buried itself in my hair and I wrapped my arms around him. We were still for a few seconds before Jacob stiffened and set me down.

I looked up at him, rejection flooding me, a feeling I had become all to accustomed to in the last 24 hours.

"What?" I asked, hurt and fear pathetically lodging in my voice. He shook his head slightly, looking at the ground.

"Oh..um...its nothing...its just that...you smell like Hector," Jacob tried to say the words like they didn't bother him, but couldn't quite manage it.

I just didn't understand him. He loved me, then he didn't, then he did...or did he?

I didn't know. I just knew that it was getting hard to try and keep up with him.

Jacob's POV

My whole body was filled with relief at seeing Troy. I honestly felt like the imprint pull had gotten stronger, like I now needed her to function. I couldn't think straight without her.

It wasn't even surprising that I needed her so much right now either. I hadn't been with her nearly enough and I suppose that was my own fault.

Troy hadn't ditched me for Hector, she had offered multiple times to let me in on it, but I was too stubborn to be around them.

Hector was one to brag, touching and holding and kissing Troy whenever he got the opportunity...but mostly when I was watching.

Troy didn't stop him, and why should she? He was her boyfriend. He was aloud to do those things to her.

I pushed my thoughts aside, focusing on the now as I grabbed her tiny body out of the truck and held her to me.

"Troy," I mumbled into her silky hair, feeling her skinny arms around me. I breathed her in, feeling her cool skin, hearing her heart pounding and smelling her scent, which wasn't what it was usually...

Hector was all over her. I dropped Troy, and stared at the ground, trying to control myself.

"What?" Troy whispered, her voice choked up like she was gonna cry, although no tears showed in her big brown eyes.

She stared at me with hurt all over her and I started stuttering. "Oh..um...its nothing...its just that...you smell like Hector," I whispered, practically admitting that I was jealous and pathetic.

"Oh...yeah. I called you from his house actually," she mumbled, her voice still tight. I focused on the sound of it instead of the words she spoke.

"Is he going to be at the beach with Jason?" I asked casually, a lot better than I had expected to actually.

"Yeah, and Danni and Lafe." Troy said, and that made it better.

"Okay," I said easily, trying for a mile, which immediately made her face light up. The pieces of my heart she didn't already have, swelled, and my stomach filled with that fuzzy warm feeling.

I grabbed her wrist, reminding myself not to hold her hand, and was about to get in Bella's truck when Troy stopped me, her voice making me pause.

"Wait Jake...before we go to the beach...I wanted to tell you something." Troy said seriously. I looked down at her to see that her expression had changed.

My stomach turned to ice.

I brushed some of her hair back and waited for her to start talking. She bit her lip, eyebrows pulling together before I smoothed them out with my thumb. She kinda smiled at that before exhaling heavily and rushing her words out.

"I'm going to Los Angeles...AJ invited me before we went on the trip and I just decided to take him up on his offer last night...I-I wanted to tell you before everyone finds out later," she said, looking in my eyes the whole time, while her face stained with pink.

The ice in my stomach shattered and cut me, and I stared at Troy for a long time, completely tongue-tied.

She shifted from foot to foot, her eyes dropping from mine when she couldn't handle it anymore and that beautiful pink color took on more life, flaming red before dying down.

"Why...why-" I struggled to ask a question that wouldn't make me seem needy and controlling but it never worked quite the way I wanted it to.

"Because...I...their my brothers. I want to get to know them...to see how they grew up and meet my mom's husband," she whispered, her eyes pleading with me. She didnt need me to finish my question to understand.

My hands grasped hers and I rubbed them slowly.

I stared into her eyes, asking a million questions with mine and although she didnt give me a single answer, I felt like I didnt need them anymore.

"Okay," i whispered, seeing how much my silence was hurting her.

It was not my place to stop her. And besides, she wanted to leave. I couldn't make her stay. I'd tough this out if it made it easier on her.

"You'll...you'll call right?" I said sadly, the words weighing a ton in my mouth, and she nodded fiercely.

"Of course...and I'll only be gone for like two weeks Jake," she mumbled, and although that was probably the worst news, it wasn't as bad. She'd be back in two weeks.

"Promise?" I asked, trying to smile. I had to be sure. She tried to smile too, but it was more of a grimace. She nodded again.

I let out a breath I hadn't known I'd been holding.

"Okay," I said again. I released her hands and took one instead, not bothering about the no hand holding rule. I needed her, and I knew she could see that.

No wonder the imprint pull was so strong. She was leaving me.

We got in Bella's truck and she let me drive while I refused to let her hand go. Occasionally, she's squeeze my hand and I'd squeeze hers back, but that was it for conversation.

The drive was very silent as headed towards the beach, her staring out the window and me at the road, both off us lost in thought.

Part of me wanted to pull over, kiss her fast and hard and then accept the consequences, but that wasn't how our first kiss should have been.

It was meant to happen a certain way, and I was determined to let it happen a certain way.

Our first kiss, would be nothing like the kiss I had gotten last night with Destiny. Our first miss was going to mean something.

Thinking about kissing her led to other thoughts and I tried to clear my head so Troy wouldn't notice my train of thought had shifted away from her leaving. Her skin on mine was driving me crazy...

The beach came into view, and I saw that it still showed evidence of the rain last night. There wasn't anyone here, and it was deserted.

I parked before getting out and going around to open Troy's door for her.

She hopped down, craning her head back to look at me. She stared at me for a long time, while I gazed back sadly.

After a while, her expression became guarded in a way that I had gotten all to used to seeing lately.

She gently put her hand on my shoulder, pulling me down so our faces were close to each other. My nose skimmed hers and I tried to breathe.

I didnt think about anything as I pushed her body slightly sideways with mine so she was up against the door of Bella's truck. My hands braced against the door so she couldn't move away and reject me immediately, and my heart pounded in my throat.

Our foreheads were pressed together, breaths mixing and I was about to lean in the rest of the way and kiss her before she tilted her face so that her cheek was where her lips were and I took that hint that it was time to stop.

Was this happening again? I couldn't take it anymore. Troy and I had gotten into these situations way to often.

She was going to really put her foot down eventually and then we'd be even worse off than we already were.

Troy's POV

At the last second, I turned my face so that Jacob, whose lips were not too far from mine, wouldn't kiss my lips if he got any closer, just my cheek.

I mean, I loved him. I wanted to kiss him. But not like this. Jacob was sad I was leaving...that was all.

He didnt really want to kiss me. And maybe he wouldn't have anyways. He had kissed some random whore last night.

If he really wanted to kiss me, he'd have waited for my kiss, instead of throwing himself at the first girl who actually gave it up.

I didnt know what he wanted, and I doubted he did either.

Jacob's POV

Troy lightly pushed me away from her, and started walking towards the beach. Not knowing anything else, I followed her.

"Troy," I said and she ignored me. I sighed heavily. "Troy I'm sorry," I said, and she turned to smile at me slightly. Her eyes were sad, betraying that smile, and I hated myself at the moment.

"Your forgiven," she said softly, and aloud me to catch up with her. I didn't dare try and hold her hand again. I had pushed my limits to the max today.

We walked on the beach until Embry and Danni showed up, so sickeningly in love already it made my head hurt, and then little by little so did everyone else.

Troy broke the news to everyone lightly, not seriously, and I felt kind of special that she had been serious with me, and that she had told me...well, not first, but the first of all her friends at least. That was better than nothing.