The Beating of Our Hearts

*Regular P..O.V.*

Tonight was the last of the four shows at the O2. I had been side stage for each and every show, and I could tell that the guys were going to completely blow out all the stops tonight. They had been getting ready since the moment they woke up; walking around the arena, doing sound checks, talking about what songs to do and how to get the crowd really worked up. It was going to be immense.

While they got ready, I was sat in the dressing room, where I spent most of my time until the shows. I was more hiding out in there than relaxing; Jared had hardly said two full sentences to me since I saw him on Wednesday morning. Every time we were in the same room I was met by a stony silence that I was scared to break. I had no idea what had gotten him into such a bad mood, but I didn’t want to bear the brunt of it, so I kept well out of his way. Tomo and Shannon checked in on me periodically, making sure I was OK, that I had food and water and stuff. I had gone through two more books while keeping out of Jared’s way.

The show was everything I expected from the guys. It was explosive, energetic and loud. Jared gave everything he had to the crowd, and then some more. Tomo was shredding his guitar like never before, and Shannon was beating the shit out of his drum set. I was in awe of them. Jared was turning all of his pent up anger into a manic passion that the crowd fed off and made the whole experience even more memorable. By the time they were done, each of them was dripping in sweat, breathing heavily and gulping down bottles of water.

“Wow.” I said to them. “That’s about the only word I can say now; that was immense!”

“Thanks.” Jared snapped, before walking off to the dressing room to clean up and change.

I looked after him for a few seconds before returning my gaze to the two remaining members of the band.

“You guys were most definitely the shit tonight. Best show of them all, no doubt.” I told them.

“Thanks sweetie.” Tomo said, giving me a quick, but sweaty, hug before following after Jared.

“Yeah, thanks doll.” Shannon added, wrapping his arm around my shoulder. “And don’t worry about Jared, he’s just PMSing. But I don’t know why.” He added, steering me to the path the others had taken.

We arrived at the dressing room and entered, Shannon’s arm still around me. Jared saw this and gave his brother an icy stare.

“I need more water.” He announced, before throwing open the door and storming out.

I looked down at the coffee table and noticed a pack of at least ten full water bottles sitting there.

“Ahhh.” Tomo suddenly piped up. I turned around to him with a questioning stare.

“Jared is jealous.” He stated simply. Now I was even more confused.

“Pardon?”

“I just figured out why Jared has been acting so pissy. He’s jealous.”

“I’m still lost.”

“Well, when did he start acting like this?” Tomo tried to lead me toward the conclusion rather than just telling me.

“Wednesday morning, the morning after we went to the club and he was sucking face with the blondie.” I answered, grimacing at the memory of that night.

“And why did he go off and suck face with blondie? What could he have seen that might have sparked him to do that?”

“Ohhh. Fuck.” Shannon interjected.

“Exactly.” Tomo answered.

“What?” I was still clueless.

“Jared must have seen me kiss you to get rid of that guy. But he wouldn’t have known that was the reason, so he went off and got drunk and got with that girl. And we’re sharing a room, which would have made him even more jealous. And then I walked in now with my arm around you which would have incensed him even further.” Shannon explained calmly.

Well it was a good explanation, but there was one thing I still didn’t understand.

“Why would Jared be jealous?” I asked.

“Because he likes you, how many times do I have to tell you this.” Shannon said.

I shook my head in disagreement. There was no way Jared could like me. If he did he would have made a move by now, it’s not like he’s lacking in confidence.
But he did make a move remember? On the first night of summer, the whipped cream incident. My thoughts corrected me.

“I’m going to go find him and try to find out what’s really wrong. He’s not jealous of anything or anyone. He can’t be.” I resolved, leaving the dressing room and walking down the corridor in the direction of the stage.

After several minutes of trying to find him, I finally saw him sat on the now empty stage, looking out into the empty stadium.

“Hey.” I greeted meekly.

“Hi.” He said, getting up and beginning to walk off stage in the opposite direction. This caused my anger to flare up.

“Now you wait just a second Jared Joseph Leto, turn around and face me and talk to me like a decent human being, and not like scum on your boot! I have done nothing to deserve this type of behaviour!” I yelled at him.

He stopped short and turned around to stare at me.

“Nothing?” He questioned in a quiet, dangerous voice.

“No, nothing. And frankly I think if you’re going to treat me like this then I at least deserve an explanation.” I stated.

“Oh you deserve an explanation? Where’s my explanation for your behaviour?!” His voice began to get louder, he took several angry paces closer to me.

“Explanation for what? I’ve not done anything!” I said exasperated.

“Like fuck you’ve done nothing!” He suddenly boomed, his echo bouncing off the vast expanse of arena.

“Then please, tell me what it is that I’ve done!” I shrieked, losing all sense of politeness.

“Like you don’t know!”

“I don’t! That’s why I’m asking you!”

“Why do you even care about how I feel? It’s not like you cared about my feelings at the club!”

“What? When you went off to dry hump that bimbo in public!” I screamed in his face.

He looked momentarily shocked at my words, before regrouping and standing inches away from me.

“Or when you off to suck face with my brother! My own brother for fuck’s sake!” He bellowed.

“Like fuck I was sucking face with Shannon! He was protecting me from some creep who wanted to go dry hump me in some not-so-discreet booth!” I yelled, standing my ground, using my words to defend myself and to point out how I felt about his antics.

“What?” He asked, seeming suddenly deflated.

“Some guy was trying to drag me away, Shannon stepped in to help me out. The guy was persistent, so Shannon gave me a quick peck on the lips. As soon as the creep left, Shannon apologised, saying it was the only thing he could think of doing to get him to go away. He is just a friend. And I was grateful, seeing as there was no one else around to protect me.” I said scathingly.

“Oh. I didn’t know.”

“Well that much is obvious. Good going on trying to find out what actually happened before going off on one.” I spat, turning on my heel and leaving in the direction I came.

“Riley wait.” Jared called.

“No, stay the fuck away from me.” I hissed. I was well and truly pissed off now. I knew it was a stupid thing to get angry over, but he can’t treat people like that and then think they’ll just forgive him when he’s over it.

I stalked back to the dressing room where I found Shannon and Tomo in much the same position I left them in; sprawled out on the couch.

“Can we go back to the hotel now?” I whispered, my anger disappeared at the sight of them, replaced by the urge to cry, but I couldn’t allow myself to break down. At least not until I was alone.

“You OK? We heard you guys from here. You’ve got a set of lungs on you.” Tomo came over and hugged me, trying to get me to smile.

“Sorry about that. I’m fine, I just need to sleep. And I bet you guys are pretty tired as well.”

“C’mon, I’ll take you back.” Shannon was on his feet.

“I’ll wait for Jared. We’ll be back later.” Tomo informed us.

“I’m so sorry to ruin your guys evening. This should have been one of celebration for a job well done. I’ve fucked it up.” I hung my head, not daring to look them in the eye.

“Doll, it’s not your fault, Jared is the one being a drama queen.” Shannon comforted.

And with that, the two of us went back to the hotel for a well deserved rest. After Shannon had showered and dressed, he went to watch late night TV (most likely porn) while I went for a long hot bubble bath to get rid of the tension that had built up in my body.

I was in there for at least two hours before finally getting out and getting ready for bed. As I walked out of the bathroom I saw Shannon’s form slumped on the couch, the TV still blaring. He had fallen asleep.

“C’mon Mr. Sleepy Head.” I whispered, pulling Shannon’s well muscled arm around my shoulder.

He mumbled incoherently while he woke up just enough to stand up and stumble into the bedroom and onto his bed, where he promptly fell straight back to sleep.
I laughed silently at him, before turning to my own bed and getting in. I lay awake for hours, not able to drift off even though my body begged for sleep. All I could think about was the fight with Jared. When I finally managed to close my eyes, I fell into a fitful, unrestful sleep filled with snippets of what we had yelled at each other.