Love at First Fright

**Rayna's P.O.V**

I stared at Joey as he realized what I had just thrown at him. I could feel the hot tears run down my cheeks as he looked down in silence and shame.

"Chris can you take Eric in his room while I talk to his father?"

Chris agreed and carried Eric up the stairs as Wednesday closed the living room partition behind him.

"Who is she? Who's your little tour whore?!?"

"Rayna it's not like that."

"It's not? So you just let every little fan girl kiss you even when your married?"

"Rayna don't say that."

"Why not? You said you loved me!"

"I do love you. She was a stupid little fan that got carried away. I swear I tried to push her away."

"Carried away? She's all over you!"

"I didn't kiss her back!"

I glared at Wednesday who was still standing in front of the door shocked that I was yelling at Joey.
"Why did you do anything?"

"I wasn't around. I didn't see the picture until a few days ago."

"And yet you didn't think to tell me that my husband, the father of my son, the man I gave up my life for was letting some concert floozy mack out on him?"

"I didn't ask you to give up your life for me!"

"No you didn't did you? As I recall you simply said I was moving to Iowa."

"So what now you regret moving in with me?"

"Did I say that?"

"No you didn't. I'm sorry I fucking fell in love with you!"

"Now your making it sound like it's my fault. Oh no Joey can do no harm. He's just a poor little rock star that has an amazing life. He just lives in a beautiful house with his wife and son. Yet nothing is good enough for the underprivileged Mr. Jordison. I swear you show more love to your damn fans than you do to me."

"Why shouldn't I? They love me more than you do!!!"

I gasped when Joey said that. Love him more than I do? This came from the man that I would do anything for. The man that taught me what true love is.
He slowly tried to put his hand on my shoulder as more tears streamed from my eyes. I shrugged him off and pushed Wednesday aside opening the partition before running upstairs past Mikey who was walking in with a white box.

"What's wrong?"

"Ask him!!!"

I nearly ran up the rest of the stairs slamming my door as soon as I got inside.

The image of the girl kissing Joey filled my head. I knew I wasn't as mad as I thought I was. She was a young fan probably younger than I was when I first met Joey and was excited to meet Joey. I knew this was something I'd have to get over. I slapped the side of my head thinking how stupid I was about that. I mean, he hadn't kissed her back. He actually looked surprised...

Fuck I felt like an idiot about how I reacted over that. But, I knew I was reacting the perfect way with what he had said.
His fans love him more than me? How could he think that? After all we'd been through.
All I ever showed him was unconditional love. His fans were only here because of his music and looks. They didn't know how sweet and protective he could be. Thinking about that only made me more mad. I knew this wasn't the Joey I had fallen in love with. I hope this wasn't some new Joey.

I gently touched the locket he had given me around my neck. You+Me=1. He always said I was his other half. I thought how lost I'd be without him. I had nothing without him and Eric. They were my everything.

I laid in the bed thinking about what I was going to do about this. I stared at the small alarm clock watching as the time got closer and closer to 4. No matter how mad I was at Joey I knew that this was Eric's day and i wasn't going to ruin it for him.

I grabbed my purse next to the door and left the room making sure I didn't pass Joey.
As I walked out of the house I noticed Wednesday was sitting on the hood of the car Joey had bought me last Christmas. It was almost as if he was waiting for me.

"Where you off to?"

"I'm gonna go pick up the cake for my son's birthday. Why?"

"You’re going alone?"

"Yes. Now get off the car I have to go."

"Ray, he didn't mean it."

"Then why'd he say it?"

"I don't know. He was mad you weren't listening to him?"

"Please Wednesday I don't need you acting shrink right now."

"Rayna... Please hear him out."

"No! He meant what he said!! No get off my car I have to go."

"Fine. Believe what you want. Just remember Rayna he does love you. He's just not used to being loved back."

"Not used to it? We've been together almost 4 years."

"I know. What I don't know is what goes on in his brain. I guess with his last girlfriend they were together a nice 5 years then she cheated and got pregnant."

"I forgot about that."

"Yeah...Go get Eric's cake. We'll see you at Jackie's house."

Wednesday jumped off the car and pulled me into a tight hug. Before he let go and ran into the house he whispered in my ear, "He does love you. I envy you guys sometimes."
I smiled a little bit before getting in the car and driving into town to get the cake Jackie had ordered.

With the cake in the trunk and my Avenged Sevenfold cd blasting as loud as it would I drove to Jackie's house wondering if Joey was there already. I also wondered if he told his mom what had happened.

As I got the cake out I heard his mom yelling my name and walking up behind me. Guess he didn't. I handed her the red iced cake and grabbed my purse as we walked around the house to the back yard.

I smiled seeing Eric enjoying the large bouncy house all by himself. I looked around and didn't see Joey but I knew he was somewhere.

"Rayna...What's going on sweetie? Joey showed up with Eric and Wednesday but you weren't with them."

"I got the cake."

"I can see that. Are you ok? You look like your mind is somewhere else."

"Just sad that my little boy is growing up I guess. Seems like yesterday he was learning how to walk."

"Yeah. It gets harder when he starts school."

"Oh great."

"Well honey I'm gonna put the cake inside. Drinks are over there."

"Thanks."

I walked over to the drinks and grabbed a coke as Eric came running over to me nearly knocking me over as he grabbed onto my legs.

"Mommee! Why was Daddee cwying?"

"Daddy was crying?"
"Yup."

"Because Mommy and Daddy had a fight."
"Why?"

"It's grown up stuff. Are you having fun?"

"Yes!! Uncle Weddy gonna sing?"

"Oh yeah. Uncle Wednesday's gonna sing later when everybody gets here. Look there's Griffin and Jonas go play."

"Okie!"

He hugged my leg again and ran over to his cousin and Corey's son.
I sipped my coke telling myself I wasn't going to let this ruin my son's big day.
Throughout the party I talked to everyone like nothing was going on. I steered clear of Joey's sisters though. It was obvious they knew and wanted to talk to me. I mainly stayed around Chris and Mikey knowing that they wouldn't bring it up.

As Wednesday sang I listened to a few songs but went inside when he stared singing "Poison". I knew he did that on purpose thinking I'd tear up hearing our song.
I walked into the kitchen and saw Joey standing at the counter. His eyes were rimmed red and his hair was thrown up in a ponytail.

"Rayna..."
He wiped his eyes and walked over to me.

"Your mom throws a good party."

"Only the best for Eric."
"Yeah."

"Are you taking Eric home?"
"Yes."

"So you’re staying at the house tonight?"

"Yes but I think it would be best if you went to your sister's place."
"Rayna..."

"Please Joey. I don't want another fight. The party is almost over and I still need to think. I'll get Wednesday to take some of your clothes tomorrow."

"When can I come back?"

"When I think everything out."
He nodded knowing this was for the best for right now.

"Look I have to go. I can see Eric falling asleep over there."

"Rayna before you go. You know I love you and I'm sorry."

"I love you too Joey. I just need to tell myself you’re sorry."

I quickly left and grabbed Eric as Chris and Mikey helped me load up his presents.
I said good bye to them knowing they were driving back to Vegas and they had already packed up their stuff.

As I drove home I stared at the dark road thinking how I was going to be strong for Eric. I had to. I couldn't break down.

I knew I loved Joey but I also knew I needed to teach myself to trust him.