Forgotten Kisses.

My eyes couldn’t help but widen as I stood in place on the fourth stair taking in Alex’s appearance. Surely this was a dream. I had gotten home, said goodnight to Max, threw my shoes to the side and fallen asleep. There was no way that my fiancé had flown halfway across the world to see me.

“Alex?” I asked softly, still not believing my eyes. Maybe if I call out for him, I’ll realize it’s a dream and wake up.

He grinned and stepped forward a bit, coming to stand just in front of the staircase. “Of course it’s me, who else would be in your house and calling you baby at one o clock in the morning?” he reached out for my hands and instantly I came forward, crashing into his chest and throwing my arms around his neck.

“So you did miss me?” he chuckled softly, his warm breath tickling my neck.

“Of course I did.” I responded softly, my eyes closed as I breathed in his familiar scent I had been away from for what seemed like ages.

“What are you doing here?” I murmured into his chest after a few moments of silence between us as we stood at the bottom up of the steps, motionless.

“We’ll talk about all of this tomorrow,” he promised me softly and he then grabbed my hips lifting me up and I instantly wrapped my legs around his waist. “But now, let’s get you to sleep. It’s late.” He then began walking up the steps effortlessly with me still holding onto him tightly for dear life.

He took a right once we reached the top of the stairs and he carefully pushed open the door with his foot. Without turning on the light, he carefully placed me into the bed and pulled the sheets up over me. His warm lips left a small kiss on my forehead and I reached out, grasping his arm when I felt him pulling away.

“Don’t go.” I whimpered softly.

He let out a small laugh and I tried to find his face in the dark. “Don’t worry, Dahlia. I’m just taking my shirt off, I’m not going anywhere.” And with that, he pulled his t shirt off in one swift motion and slid into the bed beside me, his side instantly sinking in. His arm snaked around my side and pulled me into his chest.

“I missed you, beautiful.” He murmured, his lips ghosting against the skin on my back.

For once, my mind didn’t seem to be crowded with thoughts about the boy who was asleep in the house across from mine. I was at ease, and I had Alex to thank for that. I always had Alex to thank.

&&

“Lia, honey.”

“Lia.”

I slowly opened my eyes to see my father standing over me, his warm, familiar green eyes looking down at me as his ever present smile played on his lips. “You might want to get up soon. Catherine’s been hounding Alex about the wedding for about an hour now.”

I groaned softly to myself, knowing that Catherine was downstairs asking every possible question there was to ask on anything wedding related. After half an hour with her questions, any person in their right mind would have already gotten up and left the house. Alex must’ve been in misery.

‘Time to rescue him, then.” I announced and my father nodded gingerly, kissing my cheek before he turned and promptly returned to his bedroom to get ready for work.

I quickly threw on a grey flowing top and a pair of dark wash skinny jeans before I set off for downstairs where I could already hear Catherine’s questions coming from the kitchen.

“And I know you probably wont have a say in this, but lavender is such a lovely color. It looks good any time of the year.” Catherine gushed and I finally stepped into the kitchen to find Alex perched on a stool nodding along to Catherine’s words.

“I agree, lavender is a nice color. It hasn’t been decided what colors we’re using, but I’ll definitely keep lavender in mind.” Alex responded with a smile as he took a sip of his cup of tea.

I walked up to the island and leaned forward, pressing my lips against Alex’s in a quick kiss as I took the empty spot in the stool beside him.

“Sleep well?” I asked him as he focused his eyes intently on me. He smiled and nodded, and responded by bringing our lips together once more.

“Lia, darling, you never told me how charming Alex was. He is just so polite and well mannered, a real good man.” Catherine piped up from her spot at the stove where she was preparing breakfast.

My cheeks turned red at her words, but Alex merely laughed it off and responded by complimenting Catherine on being such a gorgeous woman with immense kindness and excellent tea making skills.

“So, tell me now why you decided to so randomly show up here?” I questioned him once Catherine had set our plates down in front of us and said her goodbyes as she left for a day of shopping, leaving us to ourselves in the house, my father having left a few minutes before Catherine.

“Your mother thought it would be a good idea to come and see what life was like for you growing up in a different country, and frankly, I think she was right. Not only do I get to see where you come from, I get to spend more time with you.” He explained as he took occasionally sips from his tea. “I feel horrible that I’ve been so busy with work when I should be home more and helping you plan for the wedding.”

I instantly grinned and I leaned forward, wrapping my arms tightly around his torso, but I couldn’t help the distaste I felt for my mother at that very moment. If there was ever a woman who truly got pleasure in ruining other people’s lives, it was my mother.

As ecstatic as I was to have Alex here with me and for him to see where I came from, I was absolutely pissed that my mother had the nerve to pop up out of nowhere and suggest for Alex to come here to England when I had specifically expressed to my mother how important it was for me to spend quality time with my father and friends I hadn’t seen in years. She couldn’t merely let me be.

“Your mother also got me thinking.” Alex’s voice brought me back from my thoughts and my green eyes shot up to meet his hazel orbs. “A wedding here would be perfect.” At his words, I found it hard to swallow the piece of bagel I had been eating. “I mean, it is true that most of your family and friends live here, and it wouldn’t make sense for so many people to have to fly all the way over to America, when we can just have it here and make it easier for everyone.”

“Plus,” Alex continued, without a wasted minute. “England has gorgeous scenery, I’m sure we could find the perfect venue here.”

I nodded my head, with my smile pasted on my lips, but I couldn’t seem to comprehend what was being said to me. Was this actually happening? Was every plan I had made finally crashing down? Was my mother a constant reminder of how everyone screws you over in the end? I wasn’t sure, but one thing I was certain of, and that was that I absolutely despised my mother in that moment.

“While on this note, why don’t we go out and do some shopping?” Alex suggested as he took the final sips from his cup of tea. “You’re going to need some new dresses. Now that I’m here, I can take you out to dinner and you’re going to need something new to wear.”

I smiled and nodded, accepting his offer as I stood from my spot at the island and began to walk out of the kitchen. “And baby?” Alex’s voice called out, once I had began making my way upstairs to grab my purse.

“Mhm?” I quickly snatched up my purse and hurried down the steps to meet him at the bottom, where he stood smiling.

He reached out and ran his fingers through my light brown strands. “We’ll be going to a salon as well. Blonde would look nice on you, don’t you think?”

&&

I sighed softly as I flipped through the pages of the late issue of Vogue. My eyes carefully scanned over each and every model’s thin frame and I found myself hating my slightly thicker body more and more by the second. I flipped through the next few pages and I began subconsciously tugging on my mousy brown strands and wondering if a different hair color would make me appear more attractive.

My eyes shot to my bedroom door when I heard it open and I smiled softly once I noticed that Josh had decided to come by. I sat up from my place on the bed and slightly pushed my magazine off to the edge of my bed.

“What are you doing?” he asked curiously as he came and took the empty spot on the bed beside me, his eyes wandering around my small bedroom.

“Nothing,” I told him, shrugging off his question and I found myself trying to discreetly move the magazine out of his view.

I wasn’t discreet enough because his eyes caught onto the magazine and he leaned forward, snatching it up and his blue eyes traced over the page the magazine was open to.

“Lia, are you looking at these stupid magazines again?” he questioned, letting out a deep sigh as he carelessly tossed the magazine to the side, where it hit the carpeted floor with a soft thud.

Embarrassed from being caught looking at the magazines again, I stayed quiet and began to busy myself by chipping away at the fresh coat of nail polish I had just placed on my nails the night before.

“Lia, look at me.” Josh’s voice called out, and slowly I lifted my green eyes to meet his and he had this expression as his face that I could only read as disappointment and it made me even more embarrassed that I had been caught.

“Lia, you need to stop looking at this shit. These girls aren’t real. There’s nothing attractive or beautiful about a person who’s bone are protruding from their body.” I could only keep quiet, I had no way to respond, the look he was giving me was killing me and I could only stay in place.

“I hate that you look at stuff like this. It makes you depressed and I never want to see you upset about something as idiotic about girls with eating disorders. You’re my best friend Lia, and I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

The tears began to well up in my eyes at this point and the hard expression on his face softened and he reached forward, pulling me into his chest. I wrapped my arms tightly around his midsection as my legs dangled off the side of my bed.

“Promise me, Lia.”

“Promise you what?” my voice came out soft, any louder and I was sure it would’ve cracked.

“Promise me you’ll never get like that. Never change yourself for any guy out there. I don’t want you to lose yourself over something like this. You’re too important to me.”

Seventeen years old and I was never more sure in my life that I was absolutely and irrevocably in love with Josh James Alphonse Franceschi. The only problem was, he’d never see it, and I would never admit it to him. Hanna Warnes was beautiful, she was perfect. She was the epitome of every girl I saw in these fashion magazines, and as much as I’d like to make that promise to Josh, I couldn’t. Because even if this was exactly what Josh didn’t want to happen to me, every time I saw him with Hanna or any girl even remotely pretty, it drove me to go buy one of those magazines and obsess about the thin models on those pages, because I wanted to be like that. So badly I wanted to have the power to stop Josh in his tracks, make him want me like he’s never wanted anything so badly.

In the moment, as he held me tightly to his chest, his fingers running softly along my back, rubbing reassuring patterns, I made a promise to myself. One day, I would change. I’d be perfect. I’d come back looking just like those girls in the magazines and Josh would finally want me. He’d see me as the girl I truly was that was stuck hiding underneath this thick exterior and unfashionable clothes. He’d love me.