My Heart Yearns

It had turned out so terribly wrong. I hadn't even tripped on my dress. No, fate wasn't nice enough for that. I had tripped over nothing. Air. I had stopped yelling that chant in my mind over and over again. I had lost my concentration when I had seen Kakashi.

Time seemed to slow as I fell. That sounds cliché but seriously, it was like I could think a million things and scream at myself all the while. I kept repeating no! You're a ninja, Hana! For goodness sake, catch yourself! But I had already caused the damage, regardless.

As I tripped forward the little boy holding my—train, is it?—stumbled forward and tripped also. I inwardly sighed, grateful that I walked practically last in the procession. Oh, how wrong I was.

As I tripped forward I stepped on Ino's dress in front of me. I heard a ripping noise and Ino tripped forward, knocking over Shizune. Shizune reached out for the nearest object, to steady herself. Sadly, the nearest object was Tenten. Tenten righted herself before she could hit the ground, pivoting on her heel. In the meantime, she managed to hit Naruto, who righted himself easily but not before taking an awkward step forward.

The two golden rings flew from the pillow-like thing they were being held on. I barely righted myself, but managed to not fall to the ground. That would have been horrible. But then I noticed the flying rings and had the urge to chase and grab them. I lifted my hands into the air, reaching childishly to grab them. In the process, I managed to run into Tenten who tried to pivot again but caught on her own dress. Then fell sideways into Naruto. He caught her but hit the ground, cushioning her fall with his body.

Kakashi, luckily, caught the two rings with ease and smiled sheepishly at the crowd. I stood there awkwardly and took in my surroundings. The whole procession, minus myself, was on the grass. I laughed awkwardly and smiled sheepishly, looking over to Kakashi.

Why do I have to be such a klutz? I screamed in my head. I wanted to plop down with the rest of my procession and pout like a child. I would fall, push my lip out, and cross my arms over my chest. I, however, would not do that in front of all these people. I was raised to be a lady—a leader—why did I have to be so clumsy? I mean, it was going so well!

Tsunade cleared her throat and everyone shifted their attention to hear what she had to say. A smile was dawned on her face. "Well, it wouldn't be a special occasion if Hana didn't keep us on our toes." Everyone laughed and the people in the procession stood themselves up and brushed themselves off. Horror was still very present on my face. "It seems we have her parents' consent. Shall we continue?"

And with that everyone laughed and applauded, forgetting the terror of it all. The violins, harps, and other stringed instruments began to play as if nothing had happened. Yeesh, and people call me bipolar! Wait, no they don't…do they? I looked around and noticed I had lost my bouquet. Oh no, you have got to be kidding me?

Could this get any worse?

Well, fate was cruel like that.

My bouquet of flowers had blown off into the crowd somewhere and I had no idea where to even start looking. So I looked over to the seats that had the cute little bouquets of orange flowers and white daisies. I roughly yanked on one of those. As I yanked on one I noticed they were all connected by this lacey fabric.

Aw, you got to be kidding me!

They fell down like dominos. The people in the seats made an odd squeaking sound and jumped from their seats. Luckily, only the end chairs on the left side fell over. I laughed sheepishly again as I—once again—had everyone's undivided attention. "That was my aunt and uncle's consent," I called out. Kakashi laughed and got the attention of the crowd. Thank Kami!

Now it definitely can't get any worse! I looked around me, apprehensively. Nothing immediate happened. Knock on wood! Knock on wood! I probably looked crazy when I went up to one of the chairs and knocked on it. Oh well, who cares anymore?

I looked up to the sky, afraid it might rain or something. This voodoo mumbo jumbo was really starting to creep me out. I walked with my procession with all the dignity I had left. I would never hear the end of this. Never. This was so not a good idea. I reached the platform and stood on it across from Kakashi. I knew he was smirking almost sadistically under that mask of his.

"Do you, Kakashi Hatake…" I let her voice fade off. There was no way I could pay attention to her when Kakashi was standing right across from me. Oh! How odd it must seem to you that suddenly we aren't…well, you know, seething with animosity toward each other?

Well, when I arrived back at the house with Naruto early that morning. Or was it night? Well, it was dark out—early in the AM. When I arrived, Kakashi had been waiting. When I opened the door and stepped in, her wrapped me up in his arms. I took a sharp intake of air as his warm form pressed close to mine. Didn't he want me to leave? He put his face in my hair and I could feel him breathe in my scent. "Don't you ever leave me like that again, you hear me?" Naruto kindly left us alone.

"But I thought you wanted me gone?" I questioned. Kakashi sighed as he pulled his face away from me, but still hung on to me tightly.

"Never," he grunted out. I looked up to his visible eye. He let his emotions show in his eyes and I saw worry and self loathing. Oh, Kami! "I just…I didn't want you to see me that way."

"What way?"

"Weak…vulnerable. I haven't been this close to someone in a long time—maybe never."

"You…you were embarrassed?" I gasped out, unable to grasp the concept.

"Yes, Hana," he murmured as he tucked some hair behind my ear. His warm hands brushed my skin and a warm tingle shot up through my spine. "I didn't want anyone—especially you—to see me in that state."

"Especially me?" I felt like a toddler who couldn't grasp something. I didn't like the feeling of asking so many questions but the thought had never occurred to me.

He's a man. He doesn't want you to see him cry.

"You mean so much to me. I care about you more than anyone else in the world. It's like the different between hurting a stranger or something you love."

"I would rather neither," I mumbled and he laughed, a sweet and innocent laugh that I had long missed.

"Ah, Hana," was all he said. He may have meant to say more but I wasn't going to wait to find out. I reached up and pulled his mask down from his face. Then I stood on my tippy toes and Kakashi leaned over a bit so I could plant a kiss on his lips.

When the kiss stopped I looked into his eyes and hastily blurted out, "I love you." Kakashi smirked and pressed his forehead to mine, rubbing our noses together in little butterfly kisses.

"I love you too, my Uindo." I giggled at the little nickname for me. It was funny how that name had once caused so much trouble between us. Yeesh, we caused so much drama over the littlest things. We really need to do something about that. But at the time Kakashi pulled me down to the couch with him and wrapped me in his arms. My face was pressed into his chest which I noticed just then was bare. I breathed in his sweet smell of grass, peppermint, and some odd smell that I loved but didn't know what it could possibly be—I called it the Kakashi smell. I soon fell asleep, the beating of his heart being my lullaby.

So that's what happened! Are you less confused now? I really need to stop talking to myself. I finally returned to reality and saw Kakashi right in front of me. By the way his mask creased I could tell he was smirking in amusement. What now? I whined in my head. He then mouthed the words "I do" and I noticed I was embarrassing myself again.

"I do," I said, breathily. Kakashi's smirk turned into a smile. I don't know how to explain it. I just knew because his mask would crease in different ways when he did different facial expressions. He then brought his hand to his mask and moved to pull it down. I gasped. "Kakashi, no!" But just then flower petals fell from above us, creating a shield from the public's intruding gaze.

It was once again just him and me. Nothing but Kakashi. He pulled me into a passionate kiss and I was grateful for the cover of the flowers. He pulled away to soon and I opened my eyes to see a lopsided smirk. I smiled back and giggled, pulling his mask back up and covering it. That's when I came up with his nickname. His Uindo to my Shika. I rearranged the symbols in his name and came up with Shika.

Shika: nothing but.

I laughed, the flowers having stopped falling, and turned to the crowd of people. They clapped and Kakashi and I walked down the aisle. He made sure to hold onto me tightly so I couldn't embarrass myself any further. I looked up to his eyes again. The world around me becoming a haze. And I saw nothing but Kakashi.

Nothing but…it's quite fitting, I thought with a huge grin and started skipping, swinging the hand I had entwined with Kakashi's, and giggling like I was off my rocker.

Maybe I was…who really knows?

Sure, I had Sasuke to worry about still. To worry about his lost childhood and painful past. To worry about if he would ever accept love again. I had Naruto who still had terrible nightmares and tried to hide every ounce of pain, loneliness, and sadness. I had Ino who didn't have a mother and tried to act too mature sometimes, never really experiencing life. I had Tenten who felt haunted at every corner and tried to cope with it by distancing herself from others. I had Kakashi who had trust issues and didn't want to open up to be hurt. And then there was me. I felt responsible for everything and lived with it by trying to torture myself.

We were an odd bunch, with a lot of problems. But when were together—oh when we were together we weren't normal, but we were a family.

Nothing mattered…nothing but my love, my life…my family.