Status: updates at least every friday!
Keep Your Heart Wide Open.
'cause I've had enough.
No matter how hard she tried not to, Gianna could not ignore the fact that she had to get up and start to set up for that night’s show. The bus was silent and she assumed that everyone was inside the venue, setting up tables and equipment, wondering where she was. She sighed and forced herself to sit up and make her feet meet the floor. Her stomach was in knots and her palms were sweaty as she stood up, grabbing her bag and slinging it over her shoulder. She opened the door to the bus and stepped out onto the pavement once again.
As soon as she was off the bus she walked into the venue and began to look around. She saw everyone walking around different things, every once in a while stopping to say hello or chat. She ran a hand through her hair and thought of Joel, knowing that half of her wanted to avoid him like the plague while the other half was begging to simply see his face. Her breath caught in her throat as she saw him walk by, talking to an employee of the venue. She gave in to the side of her that craved to be around him and stared.
She bit her lip and took a deep breath, suddenly wanting to move closer. She stepped forward and was certain she was going to walk over until someone grabbed her shoulder, turning her around. Taylor was smiling, innocently unaware of what she may have interrupted. “There you are!” Gianna chuckled and looked down at her feet. “Here I am.” Taylor linked her arm with Gianna’s and brought her over to the merch table. Gianna sat silently as she listened to Taylor go on and on about topics that Gianna cared little for at the moment.
Gianna absentmindedly nodded every once in a while to make Taylor assume that she was paying attention. Eventually, Taylor got the hint. She stopped talking and looked over at Gianna, whose head was propped up on her hand, staring off into the distance. “Gianna?” But still, Gianna remained silent and Taylor followed her gaze. She rolled her eyes and playfully shoved Gianna, causing her to lose her balance. “What?” Taylor chuckled and shook her head. “Really? Why don’t you just talk to him? We all know you want to. You’re practically undressing him with your eyes, dear.”
A bright, scarlet blush flooded Gianna’s cheeks and she scoffed, looking the other way. “Yeah, right.” Taylor moved in front of her, looking her in the eyes. “There’s no use in lying to yourself Gianna. Or to him.” Gianna bit her lip again and turned away from Taylor once more, moving her hands to the fabric of the shirts behind her. She began to re-fold every shirt, telling herself that they needed to be perfect. In reality, she knew she was only taking the time to do it because it got her mind off of Joel.
She could hear the guys starting to tune up their instruments while they talked softly. Then she could hear John and Joel warming up their voices together and she stopped what she was doing. She looked down at her hands and took a moment to just listen. She wanted to forgive him. She wanted to drop what she was doing and run over to John and Joel. She would stop right in front of them and they would stop singing before looking up at her. She would then take a step forward and stand directly in front of Joel.
She would stare deeply into his perfect green eyes, and tell him how sorry she was. Then he would apologize as well before engulfing her in his arms and spinning her around for everyone to see. He would lean down and kiss away all of her pain and promise to never hurt her ever again. She would wrap her arms tightly around her neck like she would never have to let go. And she wouldn’t. He would place his hands on her hips and whisper promises of forever in her ear. But that didn’t happen, and Gianna still stood listening to the vocal warm ups, biting her tongue.
She was brought back to reality when she heard concertgoers starting to fill out the hallway, excited voices radiating off of the walls. The guys cleared out to avoid a stampede and the doors were finally opened. Gianna sighed as she handed out t-shirts and CD’s, barely paying attention to the cruel world around her. Taylor began to chatter again, hoping that something she would say might just cheer Gianna up. Gianna laughed and smiled ever so often in an effort to make Taylor happy. But inside, she really just wanted to go back to the bus and curl up under the blankets.
That was where she was safe from everything, where nothing bad could ever happen to her. But she was not under the covers and she couldn’t run away anymore. Even if she did not want to admit it, she knew that very soon, she would talk to Joel. She just had to.
She slid into a chair and took out her phone, once again revisiting the pictures that she looked at occasionally. She moved her thumb over the screen, exhaling deeply. She placed the phone in her pocket and faced Taylor, finally deciding to fully engage in the conversation. They spoke quietly, handing out merch to the stragglers as the venue began to fill completely. Soon enough the lights were dimming and the crowd began to get rowdier, indicating that the concert was finally about to start.
The curtain rose and Gianna could see Austin on the stage, smiling as he looked out into the crowd before immediately breaking into his first song. Gianna actually smiled as she listened, allowing the music to simply take her away. She could see someone move out of the corner of her eye and suddenly John stood next to her. He gave Taylor a light kiss and stood between her and Gianna. Gianna looked over at him with her eyebrows raised and he stared back, a suspicious expression plastered on his face.
As soon as she was off the bus she walked into the venue and began to look around. She saw everyone walking around different things, every once in a while stopping to say hello or chat. She ran a hand through her hair and thought of Joel, knowing that half of her wanted to avoid him like the plague while the other half was begging to simply see his face. Her breath caught in her throat as she saw him walk by, talking to an employee of the venue. She gave in to the side of her that craved to be around him and stared.
She bit her lip and took a deep breath, suddenly wanting to move closer. She stepped forward and was certain she was going to walk over until someone grabbed her shoulder, turning her around. Taylor was smiling, innocently unaware of what she may have interrupted. “There you are!” Gianna chuckled and looked down at her feet. “Here I am.” Taylor linked her arm with Gianna’s and brought her over to the merch table. Gianna sat silently as she listened to Taylor go on and on about topics that Gianna cared little for at the moment.
Gianna absentmindedly nodded every once in a while to make Taylor assume that she was paying attention. Eventually, Taylor got the hint. She stopped talking and looked over at Gianna, whose head was propped up on her hand, staring off into the distance. “Gianna?” But still, Gianna remained silent and Taylor followed her gaze. She rolled her eyes and playfully shoved Gianna, causing her to lose her balance. “What?” Taylor chuckled and shook her head. “Really? Why don’t you just talk to him? We all know you want to. You’re practically undressing him with your eyes, dear.”
A bright, scarlet blush flooded Gianna’s cheeks and she scoffed, looking the other way. “Yeah, right.” Taylor moved in front of her, looking her in the eyes. “There’s no use in lying to yourself Gianna. Or to him.” Gianna bit her lip again and turned away from Taylor once more, moving her hands to the fabric of the shirts behind her. She began to re-fold every shirt, telling herself that they needed to be perfect. In reality, she knew she was only taking the time to do it because it got her mind off of Joel.
She could hear the guys starting to tune up their instruments while they talked softly. Then she could hear John and Joel warming up their voices together and she stopped what she was doing. She looked down at her hands and took a moment to just listen. She wanted to forgive him. She wanted to drop what she was doing and run over to John and Joel. She would stop right in front of them and they would stop singing before looking up at her. She would then take a step forward and stand directly in front of Joel.
She would stare deeply into his perfect green eyes, and tell him how sorry she was. Then he would apologize as well before engulfing her in his arms and spinning her around for everyone to see. He would lean down and kiss away all of her pain and promise to never hurt her ever again. She would wrap her arms tightly around her neck like she would never have to let go. And she wouldn’t. He would place his hands on her hips and whisper promises of forever in her ear. But that didn’t happen, and Gianna still stood listening to the vocal warm ups, biting her tongue.
She was brought back to reality when she heard concertgoers starting to fill out the hallway, excited voices radiating off of the walls. The guys cleared out to avoid a stampede and the doors were finally opened. Gianna sighed as she handed out t-shirts and CD’s, barely paying attention to the cruel world around her. Taylor began to chatter again, hoping that something she would say might just cheer Gianna up. Gianna laughed and smiled ever so often in an effort to make Taylor happy. But inside, she really just wanted to go back to the bus and curl up under the blankets.
That was where she was safe from everything, where nothing bad could ever happen to her. But she was not under the covers and she couldn’t run away anymore. Even if she did not want to admit it, she knew that very soon, she would talk to Joel. She just had to.
She slid into a chair and took out her phone, once again revisiting the pictures that she looked at occasionally. She moved her thumb over the screen, exhaling deeply. She placed the phone in her pocket and faced Taylor, finally deciding to fully engage in the conversation. They spoke quietly, handing out merch to the stragglers as the venue began to fill completely. Soon enough the lights were dimming and the crowd began to get rowdier, indicating that the concert was finally about to start.
The curtain rose and Gianna could see Austin on the stage, smiling as he looked out into the crowd before immediately breaking into his first song. Gianna actually smiled as she listened, allowing the music to simply take her away. She could see someone move out of the corner of her eye and suddenly John stood next to her. He gave Taylor a light kiss and stood between her and Gianna. Gianna looked over at him with her eyebrows raised and he stared back, a suspicious expression plastered on his face.