Forgotten Faces

“John, it’s okay. I’ll be fine tonight; I think I’m just going to chill with Jake anyway.” I reassured him. Turns out Blake invited everyone to celebrate for something tonight and she specifically told Johnny not to bring me. I understood why, since we’re still not on good terms, but I wouldn’t have gone anyway. Plus, I just got my tattoo finished and it looks freaking amazing!

“I really wish you could come, I don’t see why she can’t at least try with having you come with me. You’re my girlfriend that I love a lot and she won’t let me bring you. She’s letting the twins comes.” He moped on the other line.

“Seriously, Johnny, I’ll be okay. I just got my tattoo done today and my back’s really sore, so I’ll just see you tomorrow? Alright?”

“Okay, I guess so… Wait, you finished your tattoo today?”

“Yes, I did. The one that Jake drew for me, remember I showed you the sketch?”

“Yeah, that one was pretty sick, you’re brother is an amazing artist. Maybe he can draw something for me?”

“Maybe, I’ll ask him about it. But, I have to go, I’m about to drive home.” I said as I sat in my car and started it off.

“Is Miss Janie following the law of no talking on the cell phone?” he teased.

“Why yes she is, and she’s hanging up now. Bye John, I love you.” I smiled and then hung up when he replied back. I then pulled out of my parking spot and drove home. I wasn’t really in the best mood after I left the shop. When I got there Caleb said that Dean and Carter stopped by and recognized Jake. And they started to talk and when Jake left for his lunch break they went with and he never came back. That got me worried and it got me seriously pissed off. I worked so hard to get my brother this job, and for him to not come back to work because my fucking ex-boyfriend and my ex-best friend’s ex-best friend came. Hell, no. He has a lot of fucking explaining to do.

As I got to my apartment complex door I could hear deep laughter on the other side. Shit, they’re all here. How could he bring them back to my apartment? This day cannot be happening. I took a deep breath and unlocked the door and walked in with my best pissed off face. When I shut the door and put my keys on its hook I walked into the living room to see three men; my brother, Carter, and Dean.

“Jake, do you mind explaining why you didn’t go back to work?” I narrowed my eyes at him. Right when I said his name all three men looked at me with sloppy grins. That’s when I noticed a smell that reeked of alcohol and weed. I looked deep over at my brother and noticed nothing wrong with his eyes but when I looked at Dean and Carter they had blood shot eyes and looked really crunked. “Oh, I guess time just passed by. I didn’t even look at my watch. Sorry, Jane. I promise it won’t happen again.” He apologized.

“Damn straight it won’t happen again. Do you know how much trouble I went through to get you this job? For Caleb to be running around doing the shit you’re supposed to do is just as bad on your part as it is mine. And you two”- I looked over at the hoodlums that are now on my shit list. “You two need to get the fuck out of this apartment now. I don’t think it’s such a good idea to be doing stupid shit in a house that isn’t yours and when you don’t even know who lives in it.”

“Bitch, shut up and go to the kitchen to make us some sandwiches and then come join me on this lovely lap reserved for you.” Dean slurred.

“Good choice because I can’t make a wiener dog until you grow one, now GTFO!” I yelled, now getting really pissed off at the freak I’ve never wanted to see again.

His face fell and now he looked just as pissed as I do, “Come on babe, I know you don’t mean that.”

“Dude, seriously let’s just leave. She’s not going to cave for you anyway, she has Mr. Rocker boy now.” Carter chimed in.

“Fine, let’s dip.” Dean said as he got up. Carter followed his moves but Jake hesitated to get up and when he finally did I gave him a glare hard as ice. “Where the hell do you think you’re going?” I seethed to my brother.

“I’m leaving with them, what does it look like I’m doing?”

“It looks exactly like that. Why are you leaving with the dick heads that ruined mine and Blake’s life?”

“I could care less how your life turned out to be, I care about Blake’s but it doesn’t matter to you because it’s not like you care about other people’s feelings. You never cared about mine when you got into high school.”

“What’s that suppose to mean?” confusion was evident on my voice.

“You know damn well what it means. All through your fucking high school life you treated me like I was a pest. Blake was always there for me when I didn’t feel good, she always noticed but you never did. She was more of a sister to me than you were. Mom and dad didn’t even consider you a daughter because of how messed up you got. Do you know what they did when you left for college? They turned your room into an office and got rid of every picture where it was just you. They couldn’t stand the fact of having such a failure of a daughter. Then all the pressure was put on me because you left. They wanted me to be the good child, the kid that saved the family name. They didn’t want any other failures. But look what I did. I failed them and it’s your entire fucking fault.” he yelled at me as the venom dripped off his every word.

I couldn’t believe what he just said. He was right about it all. It is my fault and I can’t take it back. I didn’t have enough time to think of words to say and I just stood there and watched my brother walk out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him. After a few moments of just standing there, I walked to my room and changed into a pair of yoga Capri pants and a sweater. Tears were silently falling down my face as I grabbed a box from under my bed. I opened the box to reveal photos from my childhood up to the end of high school; I sat on my bed Indian-style and looked through them all. Looking at the past was one of the hardest things for me to do. All these photos I collected through the years and I haven’t looked at them since my move to California. Not a day went by when I looked back to the memories but they all just vanished as I lived life as if they never happened. Then I met Johnny, and they all came back to haunt me.

I looked through almost every photo. Most of them just me and Blake and others of Jake and I. We all looked so happy and as the years grew on each of our smiles started to fade. They looked more fake then they did with happiness. Problems started to happen like; Blake’s family pressuring her into her studies, and me not giving a fuck what anyone besides my best friend thought of me. My parents and I constantly fought over how I wasn’t like Blake, but they never understood how much Blake and I wanted to switch lives. She wanted to have the party all the time and not being pressure into hard work life and I wanted to have the life where I could be smart enough to go to Harvard. I guess that happened after we got into our heated moment when the rumors were being spread around. Blake took on my life, and I took on hers.

Blake now party’s harder then me, she’s had a steady relationship with a rock star, and probably has a better job than I do. She’s prettier than me, smarter than me and all around better than me. Whereas I took on her life, I went to school and stuck with my studies most of the time, I worked my ass off just to make my parents proud and to try and change what they thought of me. Sure, I’m dating a rock star too, but it’s not the same because she’s had it longer. I don’t party as much anymore because I’m still afraid of how my parents think of me. Why should it matter anymore? They never got over the fact of how much of a failure I was back then. If only they knew what I was like. Helping my brother out in the toughest times, having a very well paying job, and I’m finally becoming the successful daughter they’ve always wanted.

My thoughts were pulled away when my phone began to ring. I looked at the caller id and saw that it read Johnny. I picked it up and answered, “Ahoy?”

“Hey babe, are you alright?” he asked worriedly.

“Uh, kind of, sort of…” I tried fibbing my way out of it, but knowing Johnny he didn’t believe a word. “Janie, I know you’re lying. Now, can you open your front door?” he said softly into the phone. I rolled my eyes and got out of the bed that was now covered with photos. I walked out of my room and over to the front door and opened it to reveal my concerned looking boyfriend. The tears were still falling down my face but not as hard as they were earlier. Johnny took notice and embraced me into a long hug. When we pulled away, he wiped the tears from my face with his thumbs and shut the door with his foot. He grabbed a hold of my hand and pulled me to my bedroom. He noticed the photos and looked at my sympathetically.

“Janie, what’s going on? Blake told me to come over here because you’d need me? Why didn’t you call me?” he questioned.

I groaned knowing my brother had probably called Blake and told her everything. I looked up at Johnny and said, “My brother and I got into an argument because he didn’t go back to work after his lunch break.”

“Where was he?”

“He was here with my scumbag of an ex-boyfriend and Blake’s ex-lover boy, Carter. I’m pretty sure Dean and Carter were high off their asses because when I walked in, I could smell alcohol and weed.”

“Did they do anything to you?”

“No,” I shook my head, “Dean tried very poorly to make me go to him, but Carter told him to give up and they left. Jake was going to go with him but I stopped him and argued but then he blew up on me, said a few things about the past, and how he wished Blake was his sister and that I basically ruined his life because of how much of a failure I am.” I started to sobbed.

Johnny pulled me into another hug and rubbed circles into my back and soothed me by saying, “Janie, you’re not a failure. You’re one of the most successful people I know and love. You’re an amazing music producer, from what I’ve heard, and you know your brother loves you with all his heart. He’s just upset and you’re upset too. He’s scared from all the things that happened between you and Blake, he was there through it all just watching as two best friends lost their ways. But, he’s back now and you and Blake need to try and fix your relationship to show him that life can be bad, but then it becomes good. It just takes the right amount of time and hope.”

I laughed through my tears and asked, “Since when did my boyfriend become my personal Gandhi?”

He smiled, “When I fell in love with you.” And he kissed my cheek and we laid down and cuddled for the rest of the night. “Johnny?” I asked after a moment of silence passed by.

“Yeah?”

“Do you really mean it? That I could show Jake that I’m trying to make up for what happened five years ago?”

He kissed the back of my neck and whispered in my ear, “Of course I mean it.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.” He said as sleep soon took over our thoughts.



I woke up to an empty bed the next morning, sad to see that Johnny didn’t stay. I got up and looked at the clock but it only read three A.M, so maybe he left when I was asleep. I got out of bed but then I heard a voice in the living room. It sounded like Johnny but I wasn’t too sure so I went to investigate.

I walked into the room and saw that it was Johnny and he mumbled a few words that I couldn’t make out until he said, “Thanks Blake, I’ll make sure she knows. Okay, bye.” And then he hung up. Why was he talking to Blake? And at this time? I thought as I walked behind him. After he hung up he sighed heavily and put covered his faces with his hands. He seemed upset? I decided to speak up, “Johnny? What’s wrong?” he jumped at the sound of his name and looked at me sadly, “Janie, why are you up? It’s three in the morning. Come on let’s go back to bed.”

I noticed something was terribly wrong since he wasn’t telling me anything. He just got off the phone and said he’ll make sure I know something. “No, John, what’s wrong?”

“I’ll tell you when you’ve had your rest.”

“Jonathan Seward?! What are you hiding from me?” I asked in pure annoyance, I hate it when he hides things from me. He did this when he had to leave for his three month tour, why isn’t he telling me anything now?

Johnny sighed again and gave me a sad look. What is going on? “Johnny, you’re scaring me! What’s wrong? What did Blake tell you that you won’t tell me?”

“Janie, I think you need to sit down.”

“No, Johnny tell me right now!” I could feel the sting forming in my eyes and my hot tears were rolling down my cheeks. I noticed that Johnny had a tear rolling down his face too and that’s when I knew something was seriously wrong. He wiped it away and said, “It’s your brother Janelle.”

“What’s wrong with my brother?”

“He got into an accident, he’s in the hospital. Dean and Carter were in the car with him. Blake called from the hospital and told me to bring you down there when you woke up.”

“You’re lying. Why are you lying to me?” I said not believing what he was telling me. He shook his head no and a few more tears were falling down his face as they were mine, “I wish I was Janie, but I’m not. Come on, I’ll take you to the hospital and we can see what’s going on.” He said as he tried to hug me. But I wouldn’t let him. I back away and started shaking my head, “Get out Johnny. Please, just leave.”

“Janie, I’m not going to do that.”

“Johnny, leave. You’re lying and I can’t stand that you’re saying my brother got hurt. I just got him back and now you’re telling me that he just got in an accident. What else are you going to lie about?” I cried. I didn’t want to believe what he was telling me. It can’t be true.

“Janie, I’m not lying to you about anything. Your brother could be dying right now, and you won’t be there to save him. Why are you acting like this?” he yelled.

“I’m acting like this because I don’t believe you. My brother can’t be dying, and he’s not in the hospital. Just please, leave me alone.” I cried desperately. He didn’t move or say a word. He just looked at me with anger, sadness, and just all around hurt. I could’ve possibly ruined our relationship just now, but I’m not going to believe what he’s saying. He’s wrong. Why would Blake call him and say that to him? “Fine, Janelle. I’ll leave, but go ahead and leave to the hospital to find out the truth. Once you realize that I wasn’t lying, good luck with whatever you have left.” And then he left the same way Jake had left earlier; slamming the door out of pure anger, and leaving me sobbing to myself.

“You’re so fucking stupid, Janie.” I cried to myself. I sat against the wall for a few moments till my phone dinged notifying I had a text message. I looked at the screen to see it was from an unknown number. I looked at the message as it read, “He wasn’t lying.” I didn’t know who it was from but I knew they were talking about Johnny. I wiped away the rest of my tears and left my phone on the ground. I put on my slippers and grabbed my keys off its hook and ran to my car. And drove quickly to the hospital as I kept repeating in my head, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry.”