Guts

My heart was pounding, and not just because I put so much effort into this concert and that song alone. If this didn’t work, I’m screwed. I’ve never been good at apologises, because of my pride and ego. But for once I swallowed my pride and jumped in at the deep end, I just hope she realises that. Coming off the stage, Alana was hugging each of the guys, her face scrunched up in an adorable way from their sweat that was literally trickling off of them. I walked over slowly, trying to not seem eager and well some would say desperate but then again I was. I was desperate to get my best friend back, what’s so bad about that? I caught Alana’s eye, and a smile formed on her face as she started towards me, both meeting halfway across backstage.

“He-” I was cut off by Alana jump hugging me. Her legs wrapped firmly around my waist and her arms doing the same but behind my neck. I didn’t expect that.

“That was a beautiful song, Lex” she smiled, her eyes brightening as she pulled out of the hug, placing herself on the floor in front of me.

“I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry for everything, I realised how much of a dick I was” I half smiled, scratching the back of my neck. “But I’m glad you liked it” I added.

I watched the smile of the beautiful girl in front of my falter for just a brief moment, I could tell what I had done pained her still, even after all these years. Heck, I knew I’d probably scarred her, or some shit like that.

“Lex, I don’t think It could ever go back to the way it was. I mean we can be friends, but just nothing more than that. You understand right?” she sighed.

“Bu- but you just hugged me ! Like the way you used too back then, you can’t just do that and then say something else Lana. It’s misleading” I pushed, feeling disheartened.

“Lex, do you honestly think I would forgive you so soon after everything? That hug was spare of the moment, it didn’t mean anything. I’m not getting into another fight with you, I’m done with all that shit” she stated before she attempted to walk away, but not before I grabbed her wrist, pulling her too me. My lips meeting hers instinctively, this was something I should have done along time ago.

Alana

His lips were soft against my own, the tingling sensation that ran throughout my body as soon as his hand touched mine which only flared even more when our lips touched. I’d waited for so long for something like this to happen, but it just wasn’t going to wash away everything. I pushed his chest away from me, pulling my hand back I felt my hand collide with his face before I stormed off towards the exit, ignoring all the calls from the guys as I passed them.

Fast forward >> Couple of days later.

I was a mess. Since that night I just couldn’t concentrate, I was messing up in the store with orders and what not, to be honest I wasn’t sure if I was sat on my head or my arse. That kiss should never have happened, it did no good to the situation whatsoever… or did it?. My line of thought had been corrupted, I didn’t know what to think, or feel for that matter. My phone had been buzzing non stop since I left so abruptly, so I had switched it off. Communicating with any of them wasn’t going to help, they’d just tell me how Alex is behaving and his strops were effecting the band. It was not my problem, he shouldn’t have kissed me, nor should I have hugged him like that. I guess it was my fault that it had happened, but I just lost it. It was like he was my Alex again, as though we were kids before the high school drama had changed him possibly for the worse, though I guess he wouldn’t be where he was now if none of that had happened, he wouldn’t have the fans that loved him, and the guys; the music that helped people through all the shit they were going through, I respected him- them for that. I wasn’t going to hate on him for that, to be quite frankly I think I forgave him a long time ago, it was just a little sour still. I could have reacted badly towards his appearance, but you know something, I think it’s time to let go of the past, and look forward to the future. Life’s to short to hold grudges and whatnot. I leaned across the space of the bed I wasn’t occupying, grabbing my phone from the nightstand before turning it on. I laid back into my pillow, phone resting on my chest; buzzing continuously from the texts I hadn’t received during the time it was off. I was about to read through the first one, when someone tapped lightly on my bedroom door.

“Come in” I mumbled unsure if they could actually hear me or not.

The door handle pressed down a little before the door itself opened slowly, revealing Alex. His face was expressionless, but in a way I could tell her was hurting. I patted the spot next to me, indicating for him to come sit down. He smiled a little before slowly walking towards the bed and sat down.