Bury Me Deep Inside Your Heart

The rest of the day and night back in Finland was everything I would hoped it would be. I couldn’t be happier, although the jet lag was bitch. I spent the remainder of the day with my grandparents reminiscing about the good old days and talking about what the future had in store.

In the morning, I slept a little later than I usually do. But, after the long, tiring flight, the extra sleep was welcome. When I awoke, I heard talking coming from what sounded like the kitchen area. But the odd thing was that I heard three voices - my grandmother, my grandfather and one other male voice. It sounded so familiar but I couldn’t quite put the voice to the face just yet.

I got up from my bed, threw on some clothes and walked out of my room. I slowly walked into the kitchen, where the voices had been coming from, and found my grandparents and a tall, blond man standing with his back to me. As my grandparents noticed me enter the room, the man turned and looked me straight in the eye, his eyes the same color as mine. And then it hit me. I knew exactly who he was. I hadn’t seen him in years.

“Aleksi!” I exclaimed, running to him and hugging him. It was my brother. I hadn’t seen him since I was 16. Because he was 19 then, he had decided to stay in Finland, to live with his friends.

“Sofia, I have missed you, sis.” He smiled and hugged me tightly.

As soon as he let go, my Pop-Pop spoke. “We thought you might want to spend your first full day back in Helsinki out with your brother.”

“Oh, that would be wonderful.” I was smiling ear to ear.

“So, I thought we’d go out, get some lunch, wander around the city for a while, meet up with our cousin Annikki and go to a show tonight.”

“Annikki? I haven’t seen her in a lifetime. That sounds great, Aleks.”

So, after I cleaned up a bit, we went out and grabbed some lunch at a small, local restaurant that Aleksi and I had always loved. We conversed with the owners for a while then paid our bill and left. Walking around downtown Helsinki definitely brought back good memories. I hoped that during the time I would be staying in Finland, I would make some new, even better memories.

We visited all the places I missed the most - the big cathedrals, the waterfront, etc. Finally, the time came to go visit my cousin Annikki. Since we were already downtown, the walk to her flat wasn’t far.

We walked up to her door and Aleksi knocked on her door while I stood behind him. About a minute or so later, Annikki answered the door. She grinned and tucked her wavy, blond hair behind her ear.

“Aleksi, hi! Sofia! How are you dear?!” she said cheerfully and hugging me tightly.

“I am fine, thanks. It is good to see you again, Anni,” I said, beaming.

“You too, Sof. Well, both of you, come on in.” She led us into her house and showed us to the living room.

“Sit, sit. Can I get either of you anything?”

“No, I’m fine,” Aleksi said as I shook my head.

“Alright. Well, I figure we should eat dinner here. Then us girls,” she gestured to me, “can get ready here then we’ll head out to Tavastia-klubi.”

“Tavastia? The Tavastia Club? Why are we going there?” I asked.

“I said we were going to a show tonight, did I not?” Aleksi answered.

“Well, yes. But I thought you meant a movie or something. Who are we seeing?”

“Oh, you will see. It is not important right now.”

“Well, alright than.”

“You will see soon enough, Sof. Anyway, I hope you are both hungry. Dinner is ready. I hope you don’t mind that it is simple. I’m not much of a cook.” Annikki led us into the kitchen and we hurriedly ate.

Afterwards, Annikki called me up to her bedroom. “I figured you might want to get ready or change or something before we go. So, you are welcome to borrow anything of mine. You should fit into my clothes perfectly.” she said as I appeared in the doorway.

“That is kind of you, Anni. Thank you.”

“You are very welcome. Go ahead and look through the drawers and my closet. You can wear whatever you’d like so long as you return it.” She smiled and walked into her bathroom, presumably to get ready as well.

I rummaged through her drawers, looking for something suitable to wear to a concert. While digging around, I realized that she had a lot of clothing that I definitely wouldn’t mind wearing. After sorting through her things for a good amount of time, I settled on a loose, black tank top with a big white ankh printed on it (a 69 Eyes shirt) and a pair of black jeans. Luckily, I already had my favorite boots on, so I wouldn’t be needing to borrow any shoes. I grabbed the clothes and went downstairs to the other bathroom. I changed in there as well as put on a little bit of the makeup I had in my bag. I examined myself in the mirror. I didn’t look great, but I didn’t look half bad either so I was satisfied and therefore, ready to go. Since Annikki was a bit more girly than me and liked to get ready for special events, she, of course, took a lot longer than me to get prepared. Aleksi and I sat around in boredom, waiting for her to be finished.

When she was finally ready, there was about 15 minutes until the show started. If we wanted to make it in time, we would really have to hurry.

“Geez, Annikki. Way to make us late,” Aleksi said, jokingly. Although, I could tell he wasn’t really joking.

“I’m sorry. It takes time to look good.” She laughed. “Besides, we won’t be the only ones who are late, trust me.”

“Well, yeah. I’m sure. Anyway, let’s get going.”

With that, we jumped in Annikki’s car and hurriedly headed off to the Tavastia Club. As we approached the building, I could see a huge group of people just outside the building. As we parked the car, got out and walked towards the building, I could tell we had probably arrived just in time because the excess of people outside and the lack of music playing.

After about five minutes of waiting in line, we finally got inside. The room was almost completely dark and filled with the chatter of a couple hundred other concertgoers. I was really curious as to who was playing because with this amount of people, they had to be a big deal. But, Aleksi and Annikki made sure I wasn’t able to ask anyone who was playing. Why, I didn’t really know. It’s not like I followed any bands religiously or anything.

Just as I was trying to figure out why they were hiding it from me, the room got quiet - like the calm before the storm. Then suddenly there was cheering. I could faintly make out four figures walking out onto the stages. After a moment, they started to play. Meanwhile, very dim lights came on and a fifth band member made his way out onto the stage. Suddenly, it was complete chaos. Every girl around me was screaming and, likely, many others were too. As it was still too dark for me to see much, I had no idea why they were screaming. I looked to Annikki and was about to ask her who it was until I realized that she wouldn’t be able to hear me because she, too, was screaming.

But, as I stood there in the crowd and watched, red lights came on and shone upon the front man. Suddenly, I knew why they were screaming. As he started to sing softly, his voice deep and dreamy, I realized even more so.

“Love’s the funeral of hearts and an ode for cruelty. When angels cry blood on flowers of evil in bloom…” he sang quietly and suddenly the bright lights kicked on as the song began to pick up.

Of course! HIM - that was who they were. Finland’s biggest band at the moment. No wonder people were so excited. Their excitement must’ve been contagious because I found myself singing and dancing along with everyone else and continued to do so for about an hour. I enjoyed every moment thoroughly.



After HIM had finished up their set, people began to pour out of the building. Just as I was about to do the same, my brother grabbed me.

“Where do you think you are going?” he asked.

“Um, home? It’s over.”

“The show is over. But the night is not.”

I looked at him and Annikki, confused. “What are you talking about?”

“Follow us,” Annikki said and began to lead the way.

They led me through crowds of rowdy, excited fans to a door against the far wall of the room. There was a security guard standing beside the door, but it didn’t phase them one bit. Aleksi must’ve known the guy because they smiled and greeted each other as the big, burly man opened the door and let us in. The door led to a long hallway that seemed to go to the back of the building. We turned a corner and I could hear voices coming from the end of the shorter hallway. We walked past several rooms including a bathroom and what was most likely a custodial room. As we approached the end of the hall, I could tell it opened up into a decent sized backstage room.

I looked to my brother, who was walking beside me, with a curious look on my face. I almost thought I was dreaming. He laughed and kept on walking.

Sure enough, I was right. We were actually backstage. For my first full day back in Helsinki, I really didn’t think this was what I would be doing. Not that I minded though.

When we arrived in the room, the handful of people who were already there were in the middle of the room talking, probably about the gig. I looked around the room and noticed there were several couches placed throughout the room.

My brother gestured for me and Annikki to sit down. “You girls sit right here and I’ll go get us something to drink,” he said, walking towards the other side of the room where all the drinks were. Just as he went to do so, the group of guys in the middle dispersed and filled up all the couches, including the one Annikki and I were sitting on.

I looked around at the men who sat all around us and noticed that four of the five members were present as well as some other random guys. I looked to my left and noticed that the guy who had been playing bass was sitting at the end of the couch. And just as my brother came into sight with our drinks, someone sat on the empty cushion beside me. I nonchalantly glanced to see who it was and confirmed my beliefs. It was the previously missing band member, the front man.

I silently eavesdropped on his conversation with the bassist.

“Great show eh, Migé?”

“For sure,” he replied smiling.

“How about you? What did you think of it?” the singer spoke as he tapped on my shoulder. I blushed a little, embarrassed because I thought they had sensed me listening in.

“It was brilliant,” I answered bashfully.

“Well, I’m glad you thought so.” He paused, his eyes lingering on mine a moment longer. “What is your name?”

“Sofia. And yours?”

“Ville. Pleased to meet you, Miss Sofia.” I smiled at him, still blushing. Just then, my brother appeared with our drinks, distracting the both of us. He handed Annikki and I our drinks.

“So, are you enjoying yourself, Sof?” my brother asked excitedly.

“Of course I am. I had never dreamed I’d be doing this though,” I said with a laugh.

“You know this kid?” Ville said, gesturing towards Aleksi, very animatedly.

“Well, yes. He’s my brother… You know him?”

“Oh, yes. Ville and I have known each other for a while,” Aleksi answered.

“We go back quite some time,” Ville said.

“Oh, do you? This is news to me.” I laughed.

“Is it really? I thought by now you would’ve known,” Aleksi replied.

“And why is that?” I questioned.

“Seriously? Have you never inquired about --” Aleksi started. But he drifted off because by then, I was clearly distracted by something else.

He walked into the room and I was certain I had confusion plastered all over my face. The person whom I had thought would be the most unlikely person in the world to ever be in a concert venue’s backstage room was right in front of my eyes.

“…Pop-Pop?”