Status: Active :)
Only In It For A Minute
The Truth is a Terrible Thing
“Can we leave it, please?” I asked, sighing,
“Tash, something obviously happened with Jamie today,” John said, slamming the door behind him as we entered Dirk’s apartment. “What was it?”
“I’m gonna leave you two alone,” Dirk said, getting up from his sofa.
“No, stay there,” I told him. “I’m going to bed.”
I walked across the room to my room and laid down on the bed. Pulling my knees up and into my body, I finally let out a deep breath and the tears began to fall. I cried and cried as I couldn’t believe the guy I shared an apartment with and called my friend turned out to be such a creep. I had no idea how long I stayed there alone before I felt a body next to me Presuming it was John, I didn’t move, instead just sniffing a few times and trying to stop the tears.
“I meant what I told you this morning,” Dirk suddenly said. I was surprised it wasn’t John there, but I was also relieved in a way. “He’s worrying for a good reason, isn’t he?”
I stayed quiet as I realised he was right. John had worried for a good reason. Jamie was going to do to me exactly what he’d done to my best friend. I had to tell him the truth. I rolled over to see Dirk sat on the edge of my bed.
“How do I tell him?” I asked quietly. “I don’t want him to get mad and do something stupid.”
“It’s not about how you tell him, it’s about trusting him. And don’t worry, I won’t let him do anything stupid, I got your back too,” he said, standing up and walking over to the door. He pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from his pocket before opening the door and shooting me a small, sympathetic smile. “Can he come in now?”
I nodded to him and once he left, I sat up on the bed and wiped my eyes, waiting for JOhn to enter the room. I went over what happened in my head and tried to make sense of it but there was no way that anything his did was OK.
As John came into the bedroom, I saw hurt and sadness over his face. I should have just told him the truth straight away.
“John, sit down, I need to explain,” I began as his green eyes filled with worry mixed with anger.
----------
“Are you seriously going to work today?” John asked, as I continued to search through my suitcase for something to wear. I hadn’t unpacked in hopes it would stop me from getting too comfortable here and push me to find a place of my own.
“Yes, I have to, I need the money,” I told him. “Plus, I love my job, why should I be afraid of going into work?”
“But Tash, I don’t want you to have to go to work not knowing what he’s going to do next,” he protested.
“That’s like saying you’re scared to step outside because you might get run over,” I said. “I can’t carry on wondering, it’s better if I just go there.”
“You’re being so calm about this now, I don’t get it.”
“It’s easy, John, I sighed. “If you had some crazy fan experience in a random city and turned to the guys and told them you didn’t want to play there again, do you think they’d be OK with that?”
“No,” he shook his head.
“And the fans, do you think they’d just accept that you wouldn’t play their city again?”
“I guess not.”
“Exactly,” I said. “To me, your bandmates are like my work colleagues and your fans are the bands I look after. I need to think about them as well as me.”
“You have an amazing heart, Tash,” he said, getting up and walking over to me. He put both hands on my shoulders and looked down at me. “But you cannot compare me meeting fans to a guy who tried to sexually assault you!”
“I’m going to work, now are you taking me or do I have to get a taxi?” I asked.
“I’ll take you,” he nodding, throwing on a T-shirt and some jeans, realising he wasn’t going to win this one.
----------
It was around lunch time that curiosity had finally gotten the best of me. It was quiet at work, too quiet. To everyone else, it probably seemed like a pretty normal day. There was nothing new going on, no major news, no visitors. In fact, the only thing that made today different from any other day was that someone was here and that someone was Jamie.
I walked over to my Head of Department’s office and knocked on the door. Once I heard Alex say ‘come in’, I slowly opened the door and stepped inside.
“Natasha, always a pleasure,” he smiled. “How can I help?”
“Erm well, I’m not sure if you can actually,” i said. “I’m not sure where this comes under employee confidentiality, but I have to ask, where’s Jamie today?”
“Wait, you don’t know?” Alex asked, looking confused.
“Know what?”
“Jamie quit,” he said, flatly. “He didn’t turn up for work this morning and then called in a couple of hours ago to tell us he wouldn’t be coming back. We were actually going to have a meeting with you all first thing tomorrow because he’s completely eft us hanging,” he sighed. “I thought you would have known this, don’t you live with him?”
“Oh, I’ve been staying with a friend the past few days,” I told him, snapping out of my thoughts. To be honest, I was in shock. I didn’t want him here but I also didn’t think he’d just leave. “Did he say anything else when you spoke to him earlier?”
“He said something had happened that he wasn’t happy about. He said it wasn’t to do with work, but he need to get away from here as soon as possible and get back to being himself and that he couldn’t do that in LA.”
“You mean he’s gone? Like completely?” I asked.
“That’s what it sounds like,” Alex said, shuffling papers on his desk. “Now I don’t mean to be rude, but was there anything else or did you want to spend your entire lunch hour in here?”
“Oh no, sorry, Alex,” I said. “Thanks for your time.”
As I walked out of the building, I pulled my phone out of my bag and immediately dialled John’s number.
“Hey baby, is everything alright?” he asked as he answered.
“Everything’s fine,” I told him.
“Really? How’s the asshole been today?”
“He’s gone,” I breathed, mostly in relief.
“Gone? What do you mean gone?”
“Like, quit his job and by the sound of it, left the apartment, left the city and possibly left the state.”
“Serious? Sounds like someone got a guilty conscious.”
“well, whatever it is, will you go to the apartment with me later? If he’s there, I want to know what he’s doing, if he’s not, well I can rest easy in my home.”
“Are you sure you want to go there tonight?”
“Yeah, I mean, if he hasn’t left yet, he won’t try anything with you there and I might actually get some sort of explanation,” I told him.
“Alright then I’ll pick you up after you finish work and we’ll go,” he answered.
“Thanks,” I said. “And John, I love you, thank you for being you.”
“I couldn’t be anyone else,” he said. “I’ll see you later.”
Closure. All I wanted was an explanation and some closure.
“Tash, something obviously happened with Jamie today,” John said, slamming the door behind him as we entered Dirk’s apartment. “What was it?”
“I’m gonna leave you two alone,” Dirk said, getting up from his sofa.
“No, stay there,” I told him. “I’m going to bed.”
I walked across the room to my room and laid down on the bed. Pulling my knees up and into my body, I finally let out a deep breath and the tears began to fall. I cried and cried as I couldn’t believe the guy I shared an apartment with and called my friend turned out to be such a creep. I had no idea how long I stayed there alone before I felt a body next to me Presuming it was John, I didn’t move, instead just sniffing a few times and trying to stop the tears.
“I meant what I told you this morning,” Dirk suddenly said. I was surprised it wasn’t John there, but I was also relieved in a way. “He’s worrying for a good reason, isn’t he?”
I stayed quiet as I realised he was right. John had worried for a good reason. Jamie was going to do to me exactly what he’d done to my best friend. I had to tell him the truth. I rolled over to see Dirk sat on the edge of my bed.
“How do I tell him?” I asked quietly. “I don’t want him to get mad and do something stupid.”
“It’s not about how you tell him, it’s about trusting him. And don’t worry, I won’t let him do anything stupid, I got your back too,” he said, standing up and walking over to the door. He pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from his pocket before opening the door and shooting me a small, sympathetic smile. “Can he come in now?”
I nodded to him and once he left, I sat up on the bed and wiped my eyes, waiting for JOhn to enter the room. I went over what happened in my head and tried to make sense of it but there was no way that anything his did was OK.
As John came into the bedroom, I saw hurt and sadness over his face. I should have just told him the truth straight away.
“John, sit down, I need to explain,” I began as his green eyes filled with worry mixed with anger.
----------
“Are you seriously going to work today?” John asked, as I continued to search through my suitcase for something to wear. I hadn’t unpacked in hopes it would stop me from getting too comfortable here and push me to find a place of my own.
“Yes, I have to, I need the money,” I told him. “Plus, I love my job, why should I be afraid of going into work?”
“But Tash, I don’t want you to have to go to work not knowing what he’s going to do next,” he protested.
“That’s like saying you’re scared to step outside because you might get run over,” I said. “I can’t carry on wondering, it’s better if I just go there.”
“You’re being so calm about this now, I don’t get it.”
“It’s easy, John, I sighed. “If you had some crazy fan experience in a random city and turned to the guys and told them you didn’t want to play there again, do you think they’d be OK with that?”
“No,” he shook his head.
“And the fans, do you think they’d just accept that you wouldn’t play their city again?”
“I guess not.”
“Exactly,” I said. “To me, your bandmates are like my work colleagues and your fans are the bands I look after. I need to think about them as well as me.”
“You have an amazing heart, Tash,” he said, getting up and walking over to me. He put both hands on my shoulders and looked down at me. “But you cannot compare me meeting fans to a guy who tried to sexually assault you!”
“I’m going to work, now are you taking me or do I have to get a taxi?” I asked.
“I’ll take you,” he nodding, throwing on a T-shirt and some jeans, realising he wasn’t going to win this one.
----------
It was around lunch time that curiosity had finally gotten the best of me. It was quiet at work, too quiet. To everyone else, it probably seemed like a pretty normal day. There was nothing new going on, no major news, no visitors. In fact, the only thing that made today different from any other day was that someone was here and that someone was Jamie.
I walked over to my Head of Department’s office and knocked on the door. Once I heard Alex say ‘come in’, I slowly opened the door and stepped inside.
“Natasha, always a pleasure,” he smiled. “How can I help?”
“Erm well, I’m not sure if you can actually,” i said. “I’m not sure where this comes under employee confidentiality, but I have to ask, where’s Jamie today?”
“Wait, you don’t know?” Alex asked, looking confused.
“Know what?”
“Jamie quit,” he said, flatly. “He didn’t turn up for work this morning and then called in a couple of hours ago to tell us he wouldn’t be coming back. We were actually going to have a meeting with you all first thing tomorrow because he’s completely eft us hanging,” he sighed. “I thought you would have known this, don’t you live with him?”
“Oh, I’ve been staying with a friend the past few days,” I told him, snapping out of my thoughts. To be honest, I was in shock. I didn’t want him here but I also didn’t think he’d just leave. “Did he say anything else when you spoke to him earlier?”
“He said something had happened that he wasn’t happy about. He said it wasn’t to do with work, but he need to get away from here as soon as possible and get back to being himself and that he couldn’t do that in LA.”
“You mean he’s gone? Like completely?” I asked.
“That’s what it sounds like,” Alex said, shuffling papers on his desk. “Now I don’t mean to be rude, but was there anything else or did you want to spend your entire lunch hour in here?”
“Oh no, sorry, Alex,” I said. “Thanks for your time.”
As I walked out of the building, I pulled my phone out of my bag and immediately dialled John’s number.
“Hey baby, is everything alright?” he asked as he answered.
“Everything’s fine,” I told him.
“Really? How’s the asshole been today?”
“He’s gone,” I breathed, mostly in relief.
“Gone? What do you mean gone?”
“Like, quit his job and by the sound of it, left the apartment, left the city and possibly left the state.”
“Serious? Sounds like someone got a guilty conscious.”
“well, whatever it is, will you go to the apartment with me later? If he’s there, I want to know what he’s doing, if he’s not, well I can rest easy in my home.”
“Are you sure you want to go there tonight?”
“Yeah, I mean, if he hasn’t left yet, he won’t try anything with you there and I might actually get some sort of explanation,” I told him.
“Alright then I’ll pick you up after you finish work and we’ll go,” he answered.
“Thanks,” I said. “And John, I love you, thank you for being you.”
“I couldn’t be anyone else,” he said. “I’ll see you later.”
Closure. All I wanted was an explanation and some closure.