Long Gone & Moved On.

To say that I wasn't tired shitless was a fucking understatement. Though I was happy that I would be getting rest for a while from the tour, I was going to miss it. Shannon, Tomo and I were going to head back home for a while because as much as we enjoyed the "rockstar" life we were all dying to see our family member.

I lied down in one of the bunks putting on my headphones and putting the song that reminded me of her beautiful face.

"Am I better off dead?
Am I better off a quitter?
They say I'm better off now
Than I ever was with her
As they take me to my local down the street
I'm smiling but I'm dying trying not to drag my feet

They say a few drinks will help me to forget her
But after one too many I know that I'm never
Only they can’t see where this is gonna end
They all think I'm crazy but to me it's perfect sense

And my mates are all there trying to calm me down
'Cause I'm shouting your name all over the town
I'm swearing if I go there now
I can change her mind turn it all around

And I know that I'm drunk but I’ll say the words
And she'll listen this time even though they’re slurred
Dialed her number and confessed to her
I'm still in love but all I heard
Was nothing

So I stumble there, along the railings and the fences
I know if I faced her face, that she'll come to her senses
Every drunk step I take leads me to her door
If she sees how much I'm hurting, she'll take me back for sure

And my mates are all there trying to calm me down
'Cause I'm shouting your name all over the town
I'm swearing if I go there now
I can change her mind turn it all around

And I know that I'm drunk but I’ll say the words
And she'll listen this time even though they’re slurred
Dialed her number and confessed to her
I'm still in love but all I heard
Was nothing

She said nothing
Oh, I wanted words but all I heard was nothing
Oh, I got nothing
Oh, I got nothing
Oh, I wanted words but all I heard was nothing

Ohh, sometimes love's intoxicating
Ohh, you're coming down, your hands are shaking
When you realize there's no one waiting

Am I better off dead?
Am I better off a quitter?
They say I'm better off now
Than I ever was with her

And my mates are all there trying to calm me down
'Cause I'm shouting your name all over the town
I'm swearing if I go there now
I can change her mind turn it all around

And I know that I'm drunk but I’ll say the words
And she'll listen this time even though they’re slurred
Dialed her number and confessed to her
I'm still in love but all I heard
Was nothing

She said nothing
Oh, I wanted words but all I heard was nothing
Oh, I got nothing
I got nothing
I wanted words but all I heard was nothing
Ohh I got nothing

I got nothing "

I remember all those hard times she gave me when we were in high school. She was this tough, independent, gorgeous girl that bitched pretty much at everyone. She would cross my mind occasionally and to lie and say I didn't miss her bitchy way s would be a lie. I wondered what she was doing those nights that I would think about her and if she even liked the band. As far as anyone heard she was still in NYC and that she was doing pretty good. But I was content knowing that she was doing okay.

"Thinking about her again lover boy?" Tomo asked sitting down on a beanbag.
"That's a dumbass question Tomo" I said laughing.
"Yeah. Its been three years and I'm still shocked that Haven was your "pen pal" " Shannon said.
"I know but it couldn't have been better" I said smiling to myself.