TLOZ Chatroom

**AND NOW...........................**

*IN THE MIDST OF A DRAMATIC, GASP-WORTHY, HEARTSTOP-INDUCING CHAPTER BREAK........**

**A TLOZ CHATROOM SPECIAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

Ganonford: Aaaaaahahahaa-- wait, a what?! You can’t just start something else after my entrance like this! Shouldn’t you be answering questions like where did Link and Peach go? Or maybe what will happen to Zelda and her piece of the Triforce?!

**OH JUST SHUSH... BEFORE “GANONFORD” SAYS ANYTHING ELSE, ON WITH THE SPECIAL!!!**

Ganondorf: YOU--

**READY SET GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!**

MONTHS PREVIOUSLY.........

A commotion outside Sheik and Kaikoura’s humble home awoke them that morning. Sheik slunk out of bed and across the room, making sure to keep as quiet as he could. He peered out the window, but before his mind could process what he was seeing, a piercing shriek met his ears.
“Sheeeeik! You’re awake!” Zelda cried with a hearty wave. She sat in a carriage that was nearly the size of Sheik’s own house with Rabia, whom also grinned and motioned for him to join them.
“Get in loser, we’re going shopping,” Rabia said, flipping her red hair over her shoulder with sass. He blinked at them incredulously.
“Shopping?” he asked after a moment. “You came to get us this early in the morning to go shopping?” He was right; it seemed pretty stupid, considering rarely any shops would be open at one in the morning.
“Well... actually no, but you still need to get in,” said Zelda, patting the seat beside her. “You’re invited to Rabia’s parents’ lakeside house for a party!” She beamed with satisfaction, like this statement should give him a good enough reason to join the two. He sighed and rubbed his eyes drowsily.
“Why are you throwing a party this early? Don’t you think that’s kind of....” He trailed off, sensing the snappy response Rabia would have used if he had finished. To his surprise, the girls laughed.
“Silly Sheik, it’s always best to have a party between midnight and five if you really want to have fun!” said Rabia like this should have been obvious. They scootched over and patted a seat for him again. “Now come on, grab Kaikoura and get in!” Deciding he had no chance arguing, he returned to his room to re-awake Kaikoura. After much coaxing and promising of food, they finally emerged from their house. Sheik led the way to the carriage, glancing at the coachmen in the front. All three of them looked like they could fall asleep at any moment, occasionally nodding off and suddenly jerking back awake. He held back comment and helped Kaikoura get into the coach.
“I’m so glad you two could make it!” Zelda cheered, shaking Sheik’s arm enthusiastically with a smile. Shiek nearly face-palmed and Kaikoura gave her the dirtiest look she could muster. Zelda didn’t seem to notice. “We’re going to pick everyone else up now,” she continued. Nobody said anything as the men ushered the group of horses out front forward. Rabia grinned at Sheik after a while of silence.
“Are you ready to swim, Sheik?” she asked.
“Who is coming to this party?” he asked in response, dreading the thought of Ghirahim ambushing Link from underwater and defiling his body.
“The usual,” she answered. “You guys, Link, Vaati and company, Zant... etcetera.”
“Is Midna coming?” Kaikoura interjected with a frown. Rabia paused.
“Err, well, she --” she began.
‘No, Midna isn’t invited,” Zelda said matter-of-factly. “You should feel privileged, married to Sheik and all. You can come to any and all parties we’re invited to. It’s almost like you’re part of the family!” She smiled brightly. Kaikoura blinked slowly, her eyes narrowed as she looked at Zelda from the corner of her eyes.
“I’ll try to remember that,” she mumbled. Sheik quickly cleared his throat and tried to change the subject.
“So how long is this party, Rabia?” he asked. Rabia glared at him.
“I’m starting to get the feeling that you don’t want to come to my party, Sheik!” she cried in annoyance. However, before he could answer, the carriage came to a rough halt. Rabia grinned and waved. The other three followed her gaze to see the ghost of Zant, gliding about Kakariko’s graveyard glumly. He lit up when he saw his friend and zoomed over to the carriage.
“Hello Rabia!” he said, his nasally tone as annoying as ever. He took a seat behind them with a broad smile on his face. The coach continued on. Only nearly an hour had passed soon, despite having travelled across lands to Altea and through the clouds to the Palace of Winds. Link sat, much to his displeasure, beside Shadow and his new Hylian girlfriend. He cried out with rage whenever Shadow would snicker and jeer at him, making many innuendoes and offensive slurs about his “adventures” with Marth. However, the latter, on his other side, remained silent and passive. Vaati and Malon were conversing in the back, sharing a big bowl of cereal behind these four; the bumps in the road occasionally caused some milk to slop onto the floor. Kaikoura sat in silent annoyance as Zelda tried to include her in a conversation about the economic woes of the castle. Rabia gushed over her mutual love of cats with Zant, whom laughed loudly whenever she told him stories about her pet. Overall, Sheik was beginning to get a headache.
“Are we almost to your house?” he asked Rabia, making sure to wait for a break in her conversation with Zant.
“Yep, we should be arriving any moment now,” she responded with glee. Thankfully she was correct; the ride only continued for another ten minutes before the carriage rolled to a gentle stop. “We’re here!” Everyone filed out of the carriage and stared in awe at Rabia’s family’s giant home. It was carved into a cliff of coral above a secluded spot on Lake Hylia; it was many magnificent shades of blue, white and pink in the light the many oriental lanterns cast upon it.
“Nice digs, Rabia!” Shadow said, still staring up at the massive work of art before them. She shrugged it off.
“It’s nothing special, but my parents wrote to me the other day; they said my friends and I could use the place while they were at the vacation house,” she responded nonchalantly, skipping over to the water. “Food is inside, but personally I am going to swim!” Zant and Malon quickly joined her, following her to the shore. Sheik looked to his right to say something to Kaikoura, but found that she was already heading inside -- most likely to eat. He then followed Link and Marth inside.
The interior of the home was, if possible, even more beautiful than the outside. A large, lifelike family of Zoras (Sheik and Link both wondered whether they were once real Zoras, turned to stone) stood in a regal fountain under a set of polished stone steps in the entrance of the home. The three made their way through the portrait-filled halls until they reached an elaborate bathroom, in which Sheik and Link entered. Marth was quickly shooed away to another bathroom by Link, however, so they could change out of their clothes.
Back outside, Rabia had taken off her sweatshirt and jeans to swim in her bikini, joined by Malon. Vaati stood by the water in his flowered swimming shorts, smearing sunscreen carefully over his body.
“Guys -- Rabia -- Malon!!! Wait for me, come on!” he whined. “Wait up! -- Shadow, help me will you?” His servant grabbed the bottle and started spreading the lotion on his master’s back. Rabia laughed.
“Why are you putting sunscreen on? It’s two in the morning -- there is no sun!” she yelled across the water to him. He huffed in disbelief.
“And what happens when the sun rises? I burn! Personally, I would not like that, so I’m being smart and applying sunscreen before it happens!” he cried back. She rolled her eyes and continued swimming further with Malon. “Malon! I said wait!”
Zant fluttered about the lake, relaxing pointlessly on a float as others started to join them in the water. Link and Sheik were approaching the shore with Marth far behind. Link’s olive green shorts clashed horribly with Marth’s, which were a delicate light blue; Sheik appeared to be wearing the same exact thing he had been wearing previously. Zelda sighed dreamily and fanned herself as they came close, admiring Link’s shirtless figure quite obviously. “Hi Link,” she said, running her hands down his arm with a smile.
“Hi Zelda,” he answered with a smile, unaware of the movement. Rabia rolled her eyes as she watched them from the lake.
“Come on Zelda, hurry up!” she called in annoyance. Zelda turned her back to Link as she walked slowly to the water, taking her coverup off as seductively as possible; she wore a skimpy lavender-colored bikini underneath. Link stared for a moment, eyes widened slightly, before clearing his throat awkwardly and looking anywhere but at Zelda. She turned back to face him and smiled innocently.
“Aren’t you coming?” she asked.
“Uh- I, um- I, er- yeah,” he stuttered, clambering after her into the water. Sheik and Rabia both rolled their eyes this time. Sheik joined the other two into the water as Marth watched them with unblinking eyes from the shore. Vaati, Shadow, and his girlfriend (whom still hadn’t bothered to introduce herself) were also getting into the water at this time. Zelda, Link and Sheik quickly swam to where Rabia and Malon were. The five then waited for the other three -- Vaati and friends -- to join them. Kaikoura was also emerging from the house at about this time, changed into her swimsuit as well. She looked less irritable now that she was awake and fed.
“We should do that thing where we try to see who can stay on each others’ shoulders longest!” Zelda chirped.
“Uh--” Sheik went to protest. Rabia gasped loudly.
“OH MY TRIFORCE, good idea Zelda!” she cheered. Much to the protest of almost everyone else, she led them to a sandbar that stretched far into the lake. They were still very much in the line of vision of Kaikoura and Marth, who were both still on shore. Kaikoura was wading into the water, however, as Marth remained sitting on the sand. “Okay!” Rabia said, catching everyone’s attention. “Pair up and we’ll see who can stay up the longest!” Shadow’s girlfriend inched closer to him, but was quickly ignored as he made his way over to be Rabia’s partner. She squealed and giggled as she climbed onto his shoulders. Malon insisted Vaati was too fragile to carry her, so he begrudgingly agreed to let her hold him. Everyone followed suit, with Shadow’s girlfriend pointlessly carrying Zant on her shoulders. Zelda balanced herself on Link’s shoulders.
“Are you good?” Link asked as she wobbled slightly. She pet his hair and smiled.
“Yep,” she answered sweetly. Rabia and Shadow pretended to gag.
And so, the competition commenced. Vaati was the first to fall, as Rabia girly slapped him off of Malon’s shoulders quickly. Sheik and Kaikoura tried (unsuccessfully) to pull Zelda off Link’s shoulders, but Zelda was ruthless; she had flipped Kaikoura off Sheik’s shoulders completely in no time. Zant and Shadow’s girlfriend were unanimously disqualified because of the obvious advantage of Zant being a ghost, so the only ones left in the end were Rabia and Shadow, and Zelda and Link. Shadow was the first to act, trying his best to pull and kick Link while balancing Rabia on his shoulders. Zelda was more concerned with trying to stay on than trying to get Rabia down. Rabia, though, was also preoccupied with trying to get Link down by pulling on his hair and poking him in the eye.
“Ow, let go of my hair!” Link cried as Rabia tugged and jerked on his golden locks. Inevitably, both he and Zelda fell when Shadow gave him a particularly swift kick from underwater. They reemerged from the water a moment later. “I demand a rematch!” Link cried in annoyance. “Isn’t it considered cheating to have the person on the bottom do anything to get the person on top off?!” Zant laughed loudly.
“Quit being a sore loser, Link. You lost, get over it,” he cackled. Zelda put her hands on her hips, her mascara running slightly.
“Not cool, Shadow and Rabia! You should have gone for me!” She turned her attention to Link. “Are you okay?” she cooed.
“Link’s a big boy, he can take care of himsel-- okay maybe he can’t. Still, he’s fine though. It was just a kick,” Rabia said. She ignored them as Zelda continued to check his leg for bruises, fixing his now-wet hair into place. “Okay, let’s go eat then!” she said. Everyone grumbled in agreement and headed for--

Ganondorf: Okay, seriously WHAT IS THE POINT OF THIS SPECIAL? Is it really even necessary to write it? IT’S POINTLESS.

**THAT IS EXACTLY THE POINT OF THIS!!! IT’S POINT IS TO BE POINTLESS SO IT DRAWS MOMENTARILY AWAY FROM THE DRAMA AND STRESS OF THE CHATROOM!!! DUH!!!**

Ganondorf: Oh what good is a story without drama, Author? JUST GET BACK TO THE CHATROOM!!

**ONE SECOND, LET ME FINISH THIS LITTLE STORY! SHEESH.... ANYWAY, SORRY ABOUT THE INTERRUPTION.... BACK TO THE STORY!!!!!**

BACK TO THE STORY NOW...

Everyone grumbled in agreement and headed for the shore. Inside the house, Rabia led the way to the dining room, where an extensive array of food was already awaiting them on a table nearly as long as the room itself. Rabia made her way for the end of the table to sit and everyone followed suit. Shadow rushed ahead to pull out a chair for Rabia, resulting in his girlfriend shooting them a dirty look. Link sat beside Zelda and Sheik, leaving Marth to sit uncomfortably by himself on the other side of the table. He looked on in silent annoyance as Zelda continued to giggle and touch Link every so often. The party went on for another hour or so before--

Ganondorf: Can you just stop.

**IF YOU QUIT INTERRUPTING ME I COULD FINISH THIS...... SO SHUT IT!!!!**

Ganondorf: GET BACK TO THE CHATROOM, AUTHOR. NOW.

**OMT FINE, NOW THAT GANONDORF RUINED THIS STUPID SPECIAL I GUESS I SHOULD JUST SUMMARIZE WHAT HAPPENED.... >___>**

Ganondorf: That’s right, now hurry it up.

**THE PARTY CONTINUED BLAH BLAH, IT WAS FUN FOR MOSTLY EVERYONE BUT MARTH AND SHADOW’S GIRLFRIEND. OH AND SHEIK AND KAIKOURA TRIED TO LEAVE EARLY A COUPLE OF TIMES BUT RABIA AND ZELDA WOULD JUST NOT ALLOW THAT. IT WAS JUST A SPECIAL ABOUT A PARTY OKAY?!??! AND FOR ONCE LINK DIDN’T GET HIGH AND RUIN IT OMD....**

**THE END, THANKS TO GANONDORF**

Ganondorf: You’re welcome.

end.