When Boy Meets Boy

Before I could think, I felt myself leaning in, ignoring my mind, listening to the burning need coiling within my stomach. I leaned in more and more until I felt his soft, gentle lips connect with mine.

The kiss was timid, at most, both of us not knowing what to do. I let my eyes flutter close as lost myself within his touch. Slowly, I maneuvered the guitar to the ground and brought his body closer to mine. Something within me, deep within me, was set off; like a fire has light somewhere in the depths of my soul and minute-by-minute it just grew stronger and stronger. I started to become more confident in my touch, deepening the kiss ever so slightly. His lips responded with great eagerness, kissing me back heatedly. I couldn't stop the moan that ripped through my chest. His taste was so unexplainable, he tasted like mint and something undetermined, a taste like no other. My mind shut itself off on my, I was running on pure and utter instinct at the moment. I run my tongue over the seam of his lips, relishing in the shudder he rewarded me with. Slowly, he parted his lips and I thrust-ed my tongue into his hot, awaiting mouth. He let out a sigh as our tongues collided, we weren't fighting for dominance, we didn't need to; we found our own rhythm, our own way. I threaded my fingers through his hair, bringing his body impossibly closer to mine. I was gone, falling into the abyss of the feeling that were threatening to consume me; everything else just melted away. For a moment, only a moment, I let my eyes flutter open and then I see it. I'm kissing a guy! I'm not fucking gay! I push him off and jump off the bed as if I just touched fire. As I jump, I lose my footing, falling against the wall. I wrap my arms around my legs, shielding myself. He looked stun, hurt, and confused; my heart ached for the pain that etched itself into his face but I couldn't bring myself to speak.

"Dere-" He started to speak, walking closer to me.

"I'm not gay." I said manically, shaking my head back-and-forth.

"Der-"

"No! Please just go. Please." I pleaded, all energy leaving my body. I screwed my eyes shut, willing away the tears. I buried my face into my knees, pretending this was all a bad dream. Faintly, I heard the door close and footsteps going down the stairs, but I was too wrapped up in my own head to pay attention. The moment I heard the front door close, I let my walls crumble down. A sob racked through my whole body, I buried my head further, letting the tears flow freely. The twisting and turning of my stomach never letting up. After what seemed like hours of crying, I just couldn't cry anymore. I laid down on the floor, curling up into myself, letting out a quivering breathe. I closed my eyes, falling into a restless, dreamless sleep laying there on the cold, hardwood floor in my room. When I woke up, the room was pitch black, my eyes burned, my body ached, and I was dazed and confused. Slowly, I maneuver myself so I'm sitting up, trying to collect my thoughts. Then it all hits me like a ton of brick: studying, Spencer, kissing; Kissing Spencer. A wave of emotions crashed into me, overwhelming me in every single way. I made it to the bathroom just in time to empty the contents of my stomach into the toilet. I groaned, falling to the ground. I don't know how long I sat there for but by the time I found my way back into my bed, curling up into my self, the sun was rising. I closed my eyes, hoping that when I woke up, this would all be a nightmare.

I awoke in the haze, not even sure where I was. The sun was now setting, signaling that I've been asleep for long time. I groaned, blindly stumbling out of my room, down the hall, down the stairs and into the kitchen. I found my mom standing over the stove, cooking dinner.

"Hi mama," I said, going over the fringe to get a bottle of water.

"Oh, look who decided to join the waking world."

"How long have I been out?"

"Not sure exactly, I know you've been asleep all day; I've tried to wake you a few times but you wouldn't budge and you looked so weak and sick, I just thought I'd let you sleep. Feeling better?"

"Um, yea, a little."

"Your sisters are out at a friend's house for the night, looks like it'll be you and me."

"Sounds great, mama." I said, walking over and kissing her cheek.

The night went by without a hitch, mama and I ate dinner together, easy conversation flowing between us. It was a nice distraction from the workings of my inner-thoughts.

"So, how's the tutoring going?" She asked innocently. Well, it was nice while it lasted.

"Um, it's great." I said, swallowing thickly.

"You never did tell me, who is your tutor?"

"Um, Spencer, Spencer Reid." I said, ignoring the clenching of my stomach.

"Oh, is he nice?"

"Um, yea, real…nice." I said, my own voice sounding strained to my ears.

"What grade is he in?"

"Um, m-my grade. B-but, he's, like, some kind of genius."

"A genius?" She said shocked.

"Yea..." I said, silently praying that would just drop the subject. The feelings that were unnerving. I just wanted to curl up into myself and let the world fade away.

"Are you okay? You're acting a bit odd?" She asked, concern laced within her voice. She leaned forward to feel my forehead but I dodge her hand. I felt guilty for making her worried.

"Yea! I'm fine, just not feeling like myself. Don't worry, mama, 'm sure it'll pass." She gave me an apprehensive look, I felt my heart pounding in my chest, and my palms started to clam up.

"Alright...if you say so..." She said, though, I knew she didn't believe me but, I was thankful that she didn't push.

"Do you want me to do the dishes?"

"Not tonight, honey, I want you to go get some more rest."

"Ya' sure, mama? I mean, it's no pro-"

"No! You need rest, no march, mister."

"Yes, ma'am." I said, giving her a mock salute. She let out a laugh, rolled her eyes,

"I love you," She said, kissing my forehead. I relished in the familiar, comforting touch. Letting my worries melt away, even if it was for only a moment. I felt like I was 5 years old again and life wasn't so damn complicated.

"Love you too, mama, g'night." I said before I went back upstairs. I spent an hour, or two, doing the homework I neglected to do. Around 12:30, I was beat, somehow. I collapsed onto my bed, fighting off the images of Spencer, in vain. Finally, I felt myself drift to the blackness.

I threaded my fingers through his soft, silky hair, relishing in the gasps and moans that came from his sinful mouth. I brought his closer, touching my forehead to his, look deep within his big, brown eyes. Slowly, I brought our lips together, finding a rhythm of our own-a lover's dance. I swiped my tongue over his bottom lip, asking for entrance to his hot, wet mouth. Instantly, he granted my access and I plunged my tongue deep into his awaiting mouth, exploring familiar territory. Our tongues, twisted and clashed together, a symphony of moans emitting from the back of our throats. All of sudden, he straddled my lap, our denim clad bulges rubbing against each other-creating amazing, sinful friction that I found myself quickly becoming addicted to. My head fell back against the couch, a moan ripping through my chest, breaking the kiss in the process. I buckled my hips, desperate to re-create that delicious friction. I rested my hands upon his hips, sliding my hands beneath his shirt, relishing in the warm, soft skin that collided with my fingertips. Without thinking, I flipped us over; him, now laying on the couch me, laying above him. I hold my weight with on hand while gently stroking his cheek with the other. 'Beautiful,' is the first word that came to my mind as I looked at the man beneath me. All of sudden, I heard crying. Spencer groaned from beneath me.

"Jeffery must be having another nightmare." He said, pushing me off him so he could get off the couch. Curiously, I followed him to a bedroom. The bedroom was painted was blue, glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling and walls, in the middle of the room laid a race-car bed, with a little boy that looked to be the age of three. Not knowing what else to do, I followed suit, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Hey," Spencer cooed softly. "Another bad dream, buddy." The little boy nodded mutely, another set of tears. All of sudden, he latched onto my neck, burring his head into the crook of my neck. Instantly, I wrapped my arms around his tiny waist, I looked to Spencer and saw a look of awe on his face, a warm smile lighting up his whole face. I readjusted the child, Jeffery, so he was sitting more comfortably on my lap, and I silently cooed Spencer to come closer. And he did, sitting on the other side of me. I looked down at the little boy in my arms, who was fast asleep, I couldn't help the warm feeling that threatened to consume me. Gently, I laid the little boy back on his bed, tucked him in, and looked back to Spencer. He laced our fingers together and lead me out of the room. When we were in the hallway, he wrapped his arms around my neck and looked at me fondly,

"I still can't get over how good you are with him, I love you, Derek." He said warmly.

"I love you too." I said without a second though, the worlds rolling effortlessly off my tongue. Subconsciously, I started to stroke his cheek when I noticed a plain gold band on my ring finger. We're married.

"It's time to wake up, honey." He said.

"What...?"

"It's time to wake up. Come on, Derek, wake up."

I gasped, opening my eyes, finding myself back in my room. It was all a dream. It was all an amazing, fantastic, blissful dream.

"Honey, are you okay?" My mom asked, looking me at at eyes filled with concern. I felt thing shifting within me, twisting and turning, but then, all of sudden, something within me clicked and, everything felt right. I gave her a huge grin,

"Yea, everything is perfect." I said truthfully.