We Only Breathe For So Long.

"What the fuck is she doing here? Someone fucking answer me." She could see the anger seeping out of the blue-eyed boy, unsure of what to do nobody answered, still in shock of what was taking place.

“I-uh..what the fuck Gare!?” John finally stumbled out, “she’s a fucking guest here!”

“Not in the same room as me, she is, she’s a fucking whore!” Garrett sneered, glaring back at the brunette awkwardly standing there unsure of what to do, feeling the tears threatening to spill over her cheeks.

“This was who you were on about? I thought you were fucking joking about that shit man!” Kennedy now spoke up.

“I wasn’t joking when I said she was a slut, just like her fucking mother,” Charlotte wanted to speak up and she was about to, but he had bet her to it as he had taken a step towards her, “get the fuck out of this place and don’t you ever fucking come back.” He seethed, glaring down at her, she couldn’t help but feel intimidated, weak and oh-so-very small with this boy breathing down on her like she was the scum of the Earth.

“Garrett, back the fuck off man.” Someone was holding Garrett back, but he wouldn’t budge, the angered boy was past being the nice guy, he was pissed and he wasn’t holding back.

It was the moment Garrett raised his fist, Charlotte’s eyes widened in fear, the guys saw this and began to pull Garrett back until he was on the floor, screaming and kicking, trying to break free. The tears had sprung from Charlotte’s eyes, releasing down her cheeks and not wanting to stop.

“LET ME GO, SHE FUCKING RUINED MY FAMILY!” Garrett bellowed, the guys still holding him down, “IT’S HER FUCKING FAULT!”

Charlotte couldn’t take it anymore, whoever wasn’t holding Garrett down was watching the scene play out in fear to even notice Charlotte making her way up the stairs – fast – as everyone tried to keep Garrett pinned down who was still screaming out obscenities.

Charlotte’s feet were doing all the work – as they made their way out the front door, leaving it to slam shut behind her as she scurried down the front stairs – into the rain and out onto the open road, unsure of where she was going or even on how to get home, but headed left – the way John had turned in as she tried to process the map of how she got there.

Charlotte let the tears stream down her face covered up by the pouring rain – but she wasn’t going to stop them, when the guys had mentioned ’Gare’ she never thought it would be this Garrett – they went way back, her and him - him and her.

Their families did anyways.

Gossip, money, lies and affairs is what started it all and her and him – him and her, had been stuck right in the middle of it all.

There were many lies shared between the two families, much gossip was spread – but rarely was a truth told and now here they are still – to this day; fighting.

“Charlotte,” she heard someone call out to her, she hadn’t noticed the car pull up beside her as John kept up with her, “Char, please get in the car, it’s fucking pissing down rain and whatever the fuck happened back there, just – please get in the car.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair.

She silently nodded, opening the door – and she stood there unsure of whether or not she should sit down on the car seats in a car that was not her own – with the unwelcoming wetness from the rain dripping off of her.

“It’s fine, hop in.” He sheepishly smiled – but she could tell it was forced.

With another silent nod, she hopped into the warm car as he drove off, unaware of what was going on himself, but willing to sort what he could out.

And whatever this mysterious brunette held behind those brown eyes of hers.



She sat next to the lanky boy who kept his eyes on the road – the soft melodies of Death Cab For Cutie - some band John described as ’if words fail, their music speaks’ and she couldn’t help but agree – they were quite amazing.

But even with music playing in the background – that was pertaining to her interest – she couldn’t ignore everything that had just taken place nearly 5 minutes ago, so she did something she never really did.

“John, I..”

She spoke up.

“John, what happened back there, it’s not something that-that I can, well – uh explain per say,” she chose her words carefully – because it was true, it’s not something she could exactly explain, “it’s a really…really long story and it’s just – I’m really sorry for barging in your house like that- I mean, well- I didn’t mean to cause any problems at all because I just...I’m sorry.”

She mentally cursed for making such a fool of herself and when she saw John hands tighten on the steering wheel, she really couldn’t help but feel she should have just kept her mouth shut.

“W-Why are you apologizing?” His head was bowed down as he spoke and she had only noticed they had stopped somewhere, the rain still pouring down as he asked the question, some of the few words he had spoken since she had hopped into the car.

“W-What do you mean? I mean- it’s my fault w-with what happened back there…?” Her response had meant to come out strong and bold, but came out weak and more as a question then a statement.

“Char, he- Garrett just about fucking punched- he almost did…that and you’re sitting here – apologizing! Apologizing!” He stated in a tone Charlotte took as disbelief, ending in a short laugh from him as if he couldn’t believe what just had happened.

“I-I- what? I-I don’t understand what you mean, John..?” She scrunched her nose, unsure of what he was trying to get across.

“Char, it’s- none of what happened is your fault – whatever you believe, i-it’s not right. Okay?” As John asked her this, trying to clear whatever he was, Charlotte noticed that this was just about the first time –between what happened back there and now – that he had actually turned to acknowledge her and she noticed then how much he looked; in pain.

“J-John, you barely know me – let alone even know what’s going on – how do you know it’s not m-my fault?” She mumbled out in disbelief herself and unsureness of why he would say such a thing because he didn’t know what was going on, he didn’t understand what had happened in the past – he had only seen the events unfold just before.

“Because Char – I-I…I don’t know, I just,” he sighed, “I-I can see you blame yourself, for whatever this,” he waved his arms around for emphasis, “is.”

“Well…maybe I have a right to blame myself, m-maybe you just don’t understand John.” Once those words were out of her mouth, she cringed – she couldn’t help but want to take them back, those words were a bit harsh then what she had wanted them to be.

“M-Maybe I don’t, hell-maybe no-one fucking understands, but Char – no one is going to understand unless you tell someone…” And those were the words that were left hanging around them as they sat in silence.

He was right – but she was never one to let anyone else be right, in the end it was always her decision that made her mind up, it was just in her nature to blame herself for something of the past and it seemed to Charlotte that this lanky boy sitting across from her – some random boy she had never met before in her life – actually cared, he was actually trying to understand her and it was scaring her.

“I’m not too big on the whole – trust factor..” She truthfully admitted.

“There’s always a chance of trying something new.” He suggested.

“And who’s to say that chance won’t just turn out to be a mistake in the end..?” She challenged.

“Who’s to say anything won’t be a mistake in the end?”

And she had nothing to reply back with, because she knew all about mistakes because in the end – she was the one who knew nothing about taking a chance.

“Y’know Char,” John started up again, “you doubt too much, you need to just – take a chance, life’s too short for doubting and all that shit.”

And truer words had never been spoken to her, she needed to live – she needed to start taking chances.

Time would only be on her side for so long.