We Only Breathe For So Long.

“Uh, thanks for dropping me off John,” Charlotte looked down at her twiddling thumbs bashfully,“I could have walked-“

“It’s fine Char, serious.” He smiled over at her as they sat in his car, the rain had cleared up, the paving now wet

She looked up at him, with a small smile, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah and we’ll work on that project to.” He chuckled.

“Definitely.” She replied reaching for the door.

“Wait!” He suddenly said as he bit his lip, “I – uh…never mind.” He sighed in defeat.

“Uh, okay,” she giggled slightly, “see you John and thanks again.”

“Stop thanking me and just go.” He chuckled.

“Pfft, okay, I see how it is.” She jokingly said, opening the door and getting out of the car.

But John took it the wrong way, he quickly undid his seat belt and hopped out of the car.

“Char, wait! I didn’t mean that,” he reached for her wrist, only to grab her hand, “I was joking, I didn’t me-“

“John, I was only joking, “ she laughed, “you don’t need to take everything so serious.”

John laughed, “Okay, okay, I’ll let you go, bye Char.” He smiled – a true, honest smile – at her.

“Bye John.” She laughed before they went their separate ways.

John hopped back in his car, the smile not leaving his face, he barely knew this girl for a day and she was already making him smile like an idiot.

He started up his baby, before driving back to meet the guys back at practice.

He was too busy living in the moment to worry about what he had left back at the house.



“Mom, I’m home!” Charlotte called out, receiving no reply, she walked into the kitchen, seeing a note on the table.

Working until late, sorry sweetie, money on bench – order pizza or something, love you mum.

Charlotte sighed, it was always the same - her mum working until late, leaving her at home by herself. Chuckling to herself, she noticed the newspaper beside the note, the page opened to the crossword section – her mother’s way of making up for being home – a note written across it also – it’s an easy one with a smiley face added on the end.

Sitting down, she grabbed her favourite pen that was placed next to the paper – the pen that started off her addictions to crosswords.

2 Across - Determined (8 letters)
Determined, Charlotte raked through her brain for a word similar to that of the meaning determined.
Firm? – no that was 4 letters, controlled? – no, too many letters.
Resolute? – 7 letters, perfect.

She scribbled down the letters into the empty spaces. Resolute.

Content with her answer, she moved onto the next question, before the phone began to ring.
She moved away from the crossword to answer the phone.

“Hello,” she said into the receiver.

“Hello, is Miss. O’Bitchery there?” The voice of an male responded.

“Uh which one?”

“Oh, Charlotte O’Bitchery?”

“Speaking.” Charlotte furrowed her eyebrow, pushing her hair back behind her ear – intrigued with who could possibly be ringing up for her.

“It’s Doctor Hunter speaking,” Charlotte froze up, “I have some unfortunate news, uh, but I’d rather it if you’re mother and you perhaps came in for a visit.”

Unable to speak Charlotte didn’t know what to do, hang up or reply with a yes?

“U-Um I-I guess we could come in, my mom’s at work, b-but we could come in tomorrow?” She bit her lip as she spoke quietly.

“Does 4:15 sound alright?”

Charlotte responded with a quick ‘sure’ before hanging up, not waiting for a response from the doctor.

Her thoughts were all over the place, there would only be one reason for her to her doctor to be ringing up, she quickly tried to resort her thoughts back to the crossword as she sat back down at the table.

5 Across – help (7 letters)
Help. Instantly Charlotte’s thoughts had directed its way back to the phone call.

The word was too much of a reminder of what she always needed – help. Her mother was there for her through everything, help with this, help with that.

And now my life has changed in oh so many ways,
My independence seems to vanish in the haze.
But every now and then I feel so insecure,
I know that I just need you like I've never done before.

Most of her life revolved around The Beatles, they were her inspiration and finding a word for help, she couldn’t help but think of the song Help! from them.
Her life had changed in many ways, she was becoming dependant on her mom, more so then herself, she still had those days when insecurity was all she felt, the guilt of what she was doing to her mother and lastly – she knew she needed her mom around

Looking down at the 4 letter word - despite her never being one to show emotions – she could feel the salty tears building up, she bit her lip to restrain them from falling down. She was never a crier and she wasn’t about to become one now.

But staring down at the black print against the white paper – she couldn’t help but let them freely fall down.

At a weak moment in her life, she just needed someone, she needed help, she needed; comfort.


John had returned back to his house only to find it quiet. He walked down into the basement to see only Jared there playing with his guitar.

“Hey man.” John greeted, furrowing his eyes at the empty basement, “where is everyone?”

“Gare fucked off after you punched him, Kennedy went after him, Pat had to go help his mom or some shit.” Jared shrugged, continuing to lightly strum the guitar.

John nodded his head, “Uh, you alright man?” John would never pry into his friends business unless if it was clear something was wrong.

“It’s just…what the fuck happened back there?” Jared exclaimed, putting the guitar back in its case, “I mean, fuck, did you say the way he looked at her? He was ready to…” Jared let out a sigh.

John knew what the rest of that sentence was – they all saw it – he just didn’t want to finish it off. He couldn’t imagine the damage that would have happened if no one had held back Garrett, but the fury in his eyes – it was clear what would have happened.

“I don’t know man, but whatever it is…that was a different Gare.” John finally replied, sitting down beside Jared.

“I know," Jared solemnly nodded his head, "is Charlotte alright?” he turned towards John.

John chuckled, “Yeah she’s fine.”

“What’s that?” Jared smirked.

“What’s what?” John replied with a quirked eyebrow.

“That chuckle, did something happen?” Jared grinned.

“No!” John exclaimed a bit too quickly.

“Ah, I see.” Jared chuckled.

“See what? What the fuck are you on about man?” John chuckled, bumping his shoulder into Jared.

“You know exactly what I’m on about, John Ohh.” Jared chuckled, nudging John with his elbow.

“Come off it man, you know I’ve got Alyssa.” John defended weakly.

“And you know – just as well as I do – that, it isn’t going anywhere John, don’t kid yourself man.” Jared gave John a pat on the back before heading upstairs.

“Fuck.” John sighed, putting his head in his hands.



Getting to sleep that night was proving difficult for Charlotte, the constant tossing and turning in bed, then the endless thoughts going through her head of what that news might be, good? Bad?

She couldn’t be sure.

Her life was a roller coaster, from the moment she was born til now, but now it was proving to be just a cyclone, time was flying by; it was of the essence now.

And looking at the events that had unfolded today, she couldn’t help but wonder, what now? She had never been one to get attached to someone, to grow close to someone – besides her mother, though now there was this green eyed boy who she was sharing an assignment with who just happened to stick around – something many people never did with her.

Then there were his friends – he had only known them briefly – if that, but would they stick around? Would John stick around? Would anyone? She wasn’t sure. She never was.

‘Help me, get my feet back on the ground,
Won't you please, please help me, help me, help me, oh.’