Love within Ashes

Chapter 8: Little Black Pencil

“Woo! They’re fucking with their eyes!” said Joe mocking us.

I think we were too obvious, I mean, we just stared at each other for minutes. Billy was laying his hand on my lap and started to touch my thigh. I slightly jumped and looked at him to make him stop, but he grinned and continued. He was going to light another cigarette but I started to cough loudly, staring at him. For Peter’s sake, I don’t want to loose this man any of these days. Yes, I wanted him with me for as long as possible. I knew that smoking was just part of his personality, and that he would never stop smoking but I could lower the times he smoked. I also wanted to see if I had an influence in him, so I continued to cough hardly. He looked at me while Joe and Bodie(who re the only ones sitting with us, drinking) laughed amazed at my boldness. Yeah, I think I was the first person in the world to indirectly request Billy to stop smoking.

Heco and Aubrey were busy, Spink, Baggy and Tommy were playing pool while Dog was in a corner, distanced from us. Billy placed the cigarette on the table with the lighter, he narrowed his eyes at me and they were telling me, “Fine, you won, wench. But don’t expect to see this often!” I leaned to him and kissed his cheek, and he smiled a bit. His face was a slightly surprised when he looked at Joe and Bodie sitting in front of him, snickering. Maybe he forgot they were still there. But the glare Billy gave them made them stop snickering and they managed to appear serious.

“Yo, Billy. Look," said Bodie showing Billy at Dog who was in the corner talking from his cell phone.

Billy glared at him, snorted loudly and stood up, leaving me in the modular seating. I didn’t wanted him to go but he was kinda angry, so I didn’t say anything. Oh my, was I recognizing his moods? Whoa, Jesus! Even though I only know him for just a week, it feels like we knew each other for years.

“Bodie, Joe, don’t look! Stay here, and don’t fucking move, especially you, Joe!” snarled Billy in a whisper.

Something was wrong, but I froze there quietly and didn’t even dare to look at Billy. Billy walked slowly to where Dog was. When Dog saw Billy, he flipped his cellphone and a it fell to the floor. Billy bent to the floor and picked the cellphone up, he handed it over to Dog and I think Dog thanked him.

“So, can I see one of your paintings one day?” asked me Joe, trying to brake the cold and intense atmosphere an also forcing me to stop staring at Billy and Dog.

“Oh, yeah, sure! Anytime!” I responded.

“You painters earn good money?” asked Joe again, I knew he was trying to make a conversation so I answered all his questions.

“No, actually no. Sometimes it can be weeks without selling a paint”.

“That‘s shit, man. If that happens, don’t worry, just holler.”

“Thank you, I appreciate your good deeds.”

“Yeah, no problem. You like my brother, huh?”

“Pardon?” I asked confused.

“Billy! His my bro, " he answered proudly. No wonder Billy treated him differently!

“Are you fucking blind? They were eating each other right in front of us, dawg," said Bodie to Joe, then he looked at me and said, “No offense”.

“None taken. And yes, I like him. Why the question, Joe?”

“It’s that you are... you are ... different from all the others," he said and Bodie smacked his head.

“Others? Hmm... I see," I mumbled looking down at the table.

“I’m sorry. I just... sorry. Look, he always had whores, so it’s fucking weird to see him with a chick like you.”

“A chick like me?”

“Yes! What I mean is that you have a decent job, you have good manners, and you are fucking hot! ... Hot, as not trashy, I meant.”

“Thank you? Call me dumb, but I am not catching it.”

“Shit, ok! I think Billy likes you. I dunno, like maybe, maybe ...... you ...”

“I am...”

“The one! I dunno, he treats you different-Shit, Bodie, do you want another beer, I’m fucking thirsty!” expressed Joe as he got up and left the table.

“Don’t pay attention to him. He’s high," said Bodie to me.

“Oh, I see...” I mumbled again as I thought in Joe’s words.

Billy came to the table with Dog by his side. I felt a little bit relived, since I thought Billy was going to punch him or something for talking in the cellphone.

“Let’s leave! It’s fucking late," Billy decreed.

He grasped my hand and took his jacket while he leaded the gang to our way out. The bartender gestured a goodbye to Billy and Billy continued to the door. Outside Aubrey caught up with me and she had her hair and make-up all messed up. She asked me to leave with her in Tommy’s car and I nodded in approval. Billy leaned on the hood of his car as he lighted a cigarette, he stared at me with a raised eyebrow and tilted his head to the right of his side.

“See ya tomorrow?” I said to Aubrey, rejecting her offering. She saw Billy and understood.

“You know it, Emma. Have fun! And don‘t forget the whip cream!” she teased.

I chuckled and walked slowly, a bit seductively, to where Billy was. I faced him, gazing at his blue eyes, revealing my lascivious look to him as I saw the desire inferno on his eyes. He grabbed me by the waist, he softly caressed my cheek and twirled a lock of hair, under my ear. I put my hands on top of his manly and overpowering chest. We were going to kiss but something interrupted us.

“What the hell are you guys doing? Yuck, you make me sick. Billy, fuck her in a motel and take me home," Joe yelled from the back seat of the car.

Billy lowly groaned and we got in the car. On the road, Billy grasped my hand, and kissed it again. I loved sour and sweet candy, and I’m freaking loving Billy. He was sour and sweet but more bitter than sugary, and I’m starting to like it. While I was smiling and gazing at Billy driving, Joe scoffed and sneered. He was the only one from the gang who got in the car with us. The others left on their own or in Tommy’s car, or in Spink's.

“Are we dropping Emma off?” Joe asked to Billy.

“Oh, you want to get rid off me, huh?" I asked jokingly to Joe.

He laughed and said, “ No, but I’m fucking tired.”

“Bullshit!” I cussed turning to where he was sitting and smiling at him.

“You just cursed!” he said surprised.

“Don’t get used to it. This miracle doesn’t happen very often," I replied.

I don’t know why but a sister feeling stroke me as I jested with Joe. I remembered Paul, and I immediately felt like Joe’s sister.

“Get out Joe!” Billy ordered, when he stopping the car in the middle of the street.

“But... but we haven’t got home," Joe said confused.

“I know. Just walk," said Billy with a daring mixed with teasing tone.

“Fuck no! I won’t fucking walk-look-ah-eh! Shit, Billy stop fucking playing with me!” Joe yelled glaring at Billy.

Poor Joe, probably this wasn’t the first time Billy pranked him.

“Billy you can drop me off there and then drive Joe home," I said trying to help poor Joe.

“Fuck no! He’s tired. Isn‘t that right, Joe? Are you tired? I’ll give you a fucking reason to be tired. Now get the fuck out of my car and walk," Billy replied with a scornful smile.

“You know what? Fuck you! Asshole!” Joe howled sticking his middle finger to Billy as he got out of the car.

Billy laughed at Joe’s reaction and added, “Stop bitching, Joe! Grow some balls and walk!”

Billy was savoring every expression Joe made. I have to admit it was funny. So I laughed at Billy’s comment.

“Oh, thanks a lot, Emma! Yeah, you two are made for each other!!” Joe growled.

“Sorry, Joe”, I muttered as I saw him from the car’s inside.

Billy pressed the gas and the tires screeched leaving Joe swaying fists in the air. I saw Joe’s facial expression and he was really angry.

“What if something happens to him, Billy?” I asked to Billy a little bit worried.

“Don’t worry, he’s only one block away from home, Emma," he answered still smiling.

“Oh! He’s such a crybaby!”, I said while he smiled, “I like how you say my name."

He remained silent once again, but at least he was smiling.

“So, where are we going?” I asked.

“To your place.”

A silent war arrived at the car. We both were in silence. The night was cold and I left my jacket in the Four Roses, so I was shivering. Billy saw my shivering and he removed his coat and gave it to me. I gave him thanks and before I could say another word we arrived at my apartment.

“Thanks for the ride. I’ll see you tomorrow?” I asked him.

“I got something for you”, he ignored my question and leaned towards me, putting his hand on my thighs. I swore he was going to kiss me, I wanted that. He opened the upper box console and took something from it while he tilted back leaving me breathless.

“Here, I think this is yours," he said giving me a black common pencil. I thought he was joking, since he was in a happy mood.

“What? That’s not mine," I said chuckling.

“You dropped it," he insisted.

“When? Billy, c’mon, that’s not mine I didn‘t-”

“You don’t remember, do ya?” he interrupted me while he looked at my soul.

“Remember what?” I asked confused.

“That day, you were in front of the mini market, and this pencil fell from your hair.”

Now I remember, it was the fist time I saw him. He recognized me? I was so confused. All this time I thought that he didn’t recognized me. Then... why the heck did he treated me like shit when I went to the “Office’? Why did he-Oh... he was playing me!

A broad smile appeared on his face as I narrowed my eyes.

“You- you- you saw me, I mean, the-the-the ... Did you recognized me the day I went to the 'Office'?” I asked angry and glad that he picked up my pencil. That was over a year ago. That detail showed that he was interested in me since that moment.

“At first I didn’t...” he said smiling.

“Billy Darley!!” I shouted while he laughed.

“It doesn’t matter! Thank you for giving me back my pencil," I gave him a kiss in the cheek, and got out the car. I was going to wave goodbye but Billy got out of the car.

“I’ll call you," he said as he stood in front of his door watching me.

“Now is the time to make a bold move," I thought.

I needed to make a move on Billy, I wanted to leave him crazy for me. So, I made my way slowly to Billy, I grabbed him from his shirt and pulled him towards me. I fiercely collided my lips with his, thumping him and his pride. I bit his lower lip while I moaned lowly. He put his hands around my butt, and then I broke the intense fire of passion that blazed us both. I seductively smiled, then I walked towards my door, saying, “Goodnight," imitating him. Just like he did when he kissed me last night. I entered my home ran to the hallway window to see him. I am pathetic, I admit it. I saw Billy standing where I left him, showing no emotions.

“Yes! He went for the bait!”, I shouted in triumph.

In that moment I knew that I wasn’t the only pathetic one. He stood there, without any emotions, but shocked and angry at the same time. Then, he paced his way to my door. He was walking quickly and distressed. But suddenly he stopped, he grabbed his cell phone from his pocket, and answered. He frowned and went back to his car. While he was walking to get into the car, I saw danger, I saw what I didn’t wanted to see, I saw his gun. In that moment I realized I was involving myself with a gang lord. Will I be safe and secure with him or far away from him? I went upstairs and changed in my pajamas. Crawled myself to bed and made a burrito, twirling myself in the sheets. I was worried, and felt uneasy. I had to make a decision. Should I stay with Billy or escape now that I have the chance? I looked at the pros and cons. Tonight he showed me that he treated me with respect and how he can care for details. Tomorrow I will take my decision, but right now I just want to dream about Billy.