Emergency Take Two

When I woke up I still had my head on Patrick’s chest and I smiled slightly before slowly getting up. I grabbed both journals and set them on the table along with the pictures, changed and slowly walked downstairs. I grabbed a garbage bag and threw all the food in the fridge away and all the bread and took it outside. I walked back inside to see Patrick walking down the stairs. I smiled slightly “Good Morning Patty Cakes” He looked over at me and smiled slightly. “You feeling better?” I shrugged “A bit” He smiled and walked over. “I have to go shopping if we are staying here for a week. And I wanna take you somewhere in a little while. Maybe when you are ready” I said. He nodded “I’ll go get dressed then” I grabbed his hand stopping him. I leaned up and kissed his cheek. “Thank you. For everything” I said. He smiled and nodded.

He walked upstairs to get dressed and I gave Bubbles a can of dog food as I grabbed my bag out of my suitcase as I slipped on a pair of shoes by the door to complete my outfit I grabbed two of my brother’s old jackets out of the closet by the door as Patrick walked over. I handed him one and smiled slightly “Looks like it’s gonna rain” I said. He slipped it on and I smiled before slipping on the football jersey. I grabbed my keys and walked out. “Where is the other car? The rental car?” I asked. “Someone came to pick it up after we got here” I blinked and we walked out to my car and got in. I pulled out of the driveway and onto the road. “I know this is going to seem weird. But not even Matt has been here with me before” I said. He nodded and I drove for about 5 more minutes before pulling into the cemetery. “I haven’t been here since the day he was buried.” I said.

We slowly got out, well I slowly got out. I locked the doors and walked threw the gates. Even though I hadn’t been here for 9 years I still knew the path by heart. I stood in front of the head stone and knelt down brushing all the leaves and dust off. I ran my hand over my brother’s name. Patrick knelt down next to me and I smiled slightly “We had so many plans. So many things we were going to do when he got home. So many dreams.” I said. “Like what?” I smiled “We were going to take a trip Rome. It had been both our dreams. He was going to walk me down the aisle when I got married. He was going to teach me how to shoot a gun. We were going to camp out in my living room and roast marshmallows over and open lighter. I was going to teach him to play guitar. We were going to write songs together.” I said.

I ran my hand over the top of the tombstone “I miss you. So much” I stood back up with Patrick. “Ok…shopping?” I asked as I wiped the tears off my face. He nodded and laced his fingers threw mine and we walked back to the truck. I got in the driver’s side and started the engine. I took a deep breath and wiped the stray tears off my face before pulling out of my parking spot. “I told you to be prepared for a lot of crying” I said as I drove down the road toward the supermarket. He smiled “I’m just happy you’re finally letting it all out. Not necessarily moving on…but” I smiled “Moving forward?” I offered. He nodded. I smiled. “Well, thanks Patrick. I think you’ve helped me more in the what two months I’ve known you then anyone has helped me my entire life. Not including my brother.” I said. He smiled and I pulled into the parking lot and we got out.

We got what we needed before we just started messing around. We checked out and loaded everything in the truck. I sat down in my seat and Blew bubbles at Patrick. He looked at me and I laughed. “Dude we have to make one more stop, but I think you’ll like this one” I said. He nodded and I pulled out of the parking lot. I drove to the closest toy store and we ran in. Literally ran. I grabbed squirt guns and Nerf Guns and then…I spotted something I really wanted. A GIANT Hello Kitty. And I was going to get it. I started climbing the shelves. “Miss. Miss what are you doing?” I rolled my eyes. “What does it look like I’m doing lady? I’m getting the giant Hello Kitty stuffy. Duh” I said. Patrick laughed and I grabbed the Hello Kitty and jumped down landing on my feet. “Maybe if you didn’t put them so high off the damn ground people wouldn’t climb the shelves now would they?” I said.

Once that we done we checked out and went back to the house. We put the food away and I dumped out all the toys. I ran upstairs and changed into a bathing suit and walked downstairs. I noticed all the squirt guns were full…and Patrick was nowhere to be scene. I shrugged slightly and turned the stereo on. N-Dubz blasted from the speakers and I smiled when I realized it was ‘Living For The Moment’ and I walked back into the kitchen. I felt water hit my stomach and looked up to see Patrick in a pair of swim trunks with a devilish smirk and a squirt gun. “Oh…it’s on” I said. I grabbed a gun and shot toward him. War had officially begun.

Until the doorbell rang…

I squirt Patrick on last time before running to the door. He went to run after me and landed flat on his ass causing me to bust out laughing as I opened the door. I looked at who was standing there and my smile automatically dropped and my laughter stopped immediately. “Chase…” I narrowed my eyes as Patrick walked over. “What the fuck do you want?” I snapped. They walked past me and into the house. “You’re doing well for yourself darling” I glared at my father “What do you fucking want?” Patrick grabbed my hand trying to calm me down but It wasn’t happening. My parents looked at me and smiled. Fake smiles, I knew that. “We just came to see you Chase. We love you” My mom said I snorted. “You have a fucked way of showing it. Get out of my house” I said.

They looked at me. “Chase, don’t be like that. We know it that we made some mistakes back then, but we changed now” My father said. “What? Run out of money and come to ask some?” I snapped. I really didn’t want them anywhere near me. “Sweetie, we just want to start over” My mom said. “Don’t call me that, and you had 26 fucking years to start over. You’re a little fucking late” I said. They looked at me and I could tell they were getting irritated. “Look Chase, we just want to put our family back together. You are all we have left” My father said. For some reason that struck a nerve. “What? Since Craig is dead and you’re out of drugs and alcohol and I have money now you want to be a family. We I don’t have a fucking family. The day my brother dies my family was gone.” I said.

They looked shocked. “We just want our daughter back.” My mom said I rolled my eyes. “Don’t you remember mommy dear? I was a mistake. You wished I never happened. If it weren’t against the law you’d get rid of me. It’d make the world a better place. I’m worthless and nobody will ever love me.” I said. She looked at me “I was drunk” I rolled my eyes “Yeah, what the fuck else is new” I snapped. She sighed and my father took a step towards me but I held the ground. “Watch you’re mouth Chase. We are just trying to get things straight between the family ok” He said. I rolled my eyes. “Don’t fucking tell me what to do. I may have your blood in my veins but you are NOT my father. You’re a pathetic excuse for a human being much less a fucking father!” I said. He looked pissed. “What’s wrong Daddy” I said sarcastically “Gonna hit me? Huh? Like you did after Craig died. Take out all your frustrations on me. I’m the mistake huh? I’m your little punching bag?”

My mom had tears streaming down her face and for a second I felt bad, until I realized the fucked up childhood I had. The way they made me feel, the things they said. “We are sorry” She said. I nodded. “I know.” She looked up at me hopefully. “But it doesn’t change anything. The things you said to me when I was young, the things you did. Nothing will ever change that. What did you really expect? You’d walk in here say you’re sorry and I’d fall into your arms sobbing saying it was ok, that I understand and it was ok. That it’s the past and it doesn’t matter anymore? Well I’m sorry. I can’t do that. When I was younger I only had my brother, once he was gone, for that month before his funeral, before I left. It was the worst month of my life. You acted like you were the only ones who lost him. I was nothing to you but you’re punching bag and someone you could blame for his death.” I shook my head

“I lost him too. He was my brother. He raised me. He taught me right from wrong. He threatened the bullies on the playground. He was the one that pulled the pills out of my hands and the razor blade away from my wrist when I wanted to kill myself because I thought my parents hated me. He was the one that told me one day mommy and daddy would get better and my life would get better. He was all I had. He was the one that raised me. He wasn’t just my brother. He was my mother and my father, he was my best friend. He was my angel. He was my hero. Once he was gone…so was I.” I said. I ran a hand threw my damp hair. “I’m sorry. I forgive you for what you did, for what you said, for the shitty ass way you treated me and the way you acted towards me. But it doesn’t change anything now. It’s too late for sorry. So you need to leave” I said. They slowly walked out and I shut the door. I leaned against it and bit my lip and smiled slightly. “You ok?” Pat asked I nodded. “Yeah, I mean it’s nice to finally get all that off my chest you know” I said. He nodded and I smiled before squirting him with the squirt gun and taking off out the door past bubbles and jumping in the pool.