Sweet Home Arizona.

The ride to my parents house was a very silent one. Neither my dad or I had anything to say to each other, and that really bothered me. “So how’s it been going dad.” I decided to break the ice. My dad’s eyes stayed fixed on the road. “Nothing’s really changed Mason.” His southern accent was thick with annoyance and sadness. I could tell that I really hurt him by leaving hurt him worst than I ever could. My mom was going to way worse than this; oh joy. After 10 minutes of another round of silence, we pulled up to my parent’s house. “Home sweet home kiddo.” My dad helped me get the luggage out of his car and started working towards the door. I could see my mom already standing there, waiting to greet me with one of her famous strangling hugs. If only dad had let me drive my car here, I could escape right now.
“Mason Lauren King, get your little hind end over her and give me some lovin’.” I used to get ridiculed when I was younger because my parents were from the south. Kids would tease me because I would say y’all or just pronounce words totally wrong. I was luckily enough to grow out of that stage.
I slowly walked up to my mom and wrapped my arms around her. Don’t get me wrong, I really missed my mom, but she just drove me crazy. “I missed you so much sugar pie.” Her arms felt like they were getting tighter around my waist; she was probably trying to kill me.
“I missed you too mommy.” She finally released me but took a hold of my shoulders. She started looking me from the tip of my toes to the top of my head. “You sure have changed since the last time I saw you baby doll.” She had tears welling up in her eyes. I kind of felt a little bad for not coming to visit them, but they had plenty of chances to see me.
“Well mom it has been almost 5 years, so I guess that’s what’s bound to happen.” She just rolled her eyes and let out a laugh. “I guess so Macy. Let’s get you inside and I’ll make some dinner. How does Chicken and Dumplings sound?”
“Sound excellent mom.” She placed her hands on the side of my face and kissed my forehead.
“I’m so happy your home piglet.” Oh great here comes the horrible childhood names. I watched as she went back into the house. Did my mom think I was home for good? If she did, it was going to be really hard to explain to her that I wasn’t.
“Why were you at John’s house Mace?” I nearly jumped out of my skin when I noticed my dad was now standing beside me.
“I was trying to get him to sign the divorce papers that I’ve been sending him for almost 4 years. But you know John, he’s to stubborn to do anything.”
“That boy may be stubborn but he’s not going to do anything that he thinks is wrong.” I looked up at my dad.
“What are you talking about?” He stuck his hands in his pockets and sighed.
“Mason, dear, can you come help me?” My mom poked her head out the door and smiled.
“Sure mom.” She walked back in and my dad followed.
“Dad, what did you mean by that?”
“We’ll talk about it later Mason.” I’d grown used to those words by now and I knew the subject was never going to come up again.
After helping my mom out with dinner and eating what we had made, I ventured up to my old room. It looked exactly the same way it did when I left to move in with John. I was amaze that my mom didn’t turn it into a exercise room or something.
“How ya doin’ piglet?” I turned around and gave my mom a small smile.
“I’m doing good. I can’t believe you kept my room the same way.” She stepped further into the room and took a seat on the bed. She patted the spot next to her. “Why wouldn’t I?” I just shrugged my shoulders and continued to look around the room. My eyes landed on a picture frame that contained a picture I thought disappeared. We looked so happy and in love in the picture.
“I heard you were at John’s today Mason. You know your father and I and the O’Callaghan’s would love it if you too would reconcile.” I got up from the bed and walked over to the window. “You and John just had a misunderstanding. All couples have those and they don’t break up. You just took it to far by leaving him like that.” I couldn’t believe my mom was taking John’s side. He was the reason I left, not the other way around. “I never really understood why you left him in the first place Mason. What did you do that so bad?” I wiped the tears that were falling down my face away. I didn’t understand why my mom was asking just a ridiculous question.
“Mom you know the reason.”
“No I don’t Mason.” I ran my fingers through my hair and sighed. She knew the reason, she just wanted me to relieve what went on.
“Fine if you truly don’t know, I’ll tell you.” I took a seat on my window seal and looked down at my fingers.
“Who’s mommy’s pretty girl. Paisley is that’s who.” I finished up changing her diaper and picked her up off of the changing table. “Are you excited for daddy to come home.” She nodded her head and smiled real big. John had missed 8 out 11 months of our daughter’s life. He missed her first trip to the doctor’s, her first time at the park, and when she started crawling. It really made me mad that he was missing the first months of her life. He would more than likely miss her first birthday as well. I totally understood that his livelihood was making music and going on tour, but I thought that once Paisley was born he would ease up. I made my way down the stairs and placed her in the high chair. It was almost 3:30 in the afternoon and I had to start making dinner. Paisley always enjoyed watching me make dinner. For some odd reason it amused her.
“Pretty soon Paisley, you’ll be able to help mommy make dinner and other goodies.” She gave me a smile and continued looking around. She looked so much like her daddy, it wasn’t even funny.
After I got done placing the chicken into the oven, I brought her back up to the nursery. She started pitching a fit, which meant it was nap time. I softly placed her in the crib and closed all the blinds.
“I’ll be back in a little while baby.” I walked out of her room and back down to the kitchen. I looked over at the clock and saw that it was 4:16. John was scheduled to be home by 5, but he was never on time. I cleaned up my mess and started working on the rest of the meal. I was making John’s favorite dinner: Chicken Cutlet Parmesan, mashed potatoes, and for dessert Apple Turnovers; which I purchased at Wal-Mart. I was a pretty good cook but I rather purchase things. It was less time consuming to do it that way.
“MASON!” I dropped what I was doing and ran to the front door.
“Shhh, Paisley’s asleep.” I walked up to him and kissed his lips. I was about to pull away but John pulled me back in. Our lips moved in sync with one another. We hadn’t see each other since New Years Eve and it was now the middle of March.
“I missed you so fucking much Mace.” He threw his backpack off his shoulders and picked me up. I wrapped my thin legs around his waist and attached my lips back to his. To say I was craving for his touch would be a huge understatement. John started stumbling up the staircase and into our room. He gently laid me on the bed and crawled on top of me. Our lips soon found each other again and started heating up. His lips felt so good as they trailed down my neck and onto my collarbone.
“I love you so damn much Mason.” I moaned as John worked on the spot that drove me over the edge.
“I love you too John.” His hands worked their way up my shirt, soon pulling it off and tossing it on the floor. He looked down at me and smiled. “You look so beautiful babe.” I couldn’t help but blush at his words. “Why are you blushing?”
“I don’t know. I guess I just haven’t gotten used to being with a gorgeous, loving guy like yourself.” I brought his face back down to mine and reconnected our lips. My hands moved down his torso and to the button of his jeans. I unbuckled the belt and then undid the button and zipper of his skinny’s. I was so ready for us to be joined and all these clothes were getting in my way.
After a few minutes of kissing and caressing, our clothes were finally off and on the floor. John positioned himself between my legs and as he was about to enter me, Paisley’s loud cries rang out. I instantly pushed John off of me and hurried to put my underwear and John’s shirt on my body. I ran out of the room and across the hall to Paisley’s. She was laying in her crib; wailing.
“Baby girl what’s the matter.” I felt her head and noticed she was burning up. She was fine an hour ago, how could she be burning up now. John’s boxer clad body soon ran in and took her out of my arms. I took the thermometer out of the drawer and pressed it against her little forehead. Five seconds later the results showed up; 105.2. “John we need to get her to the doctors now.” He nodded his head and passed her back over to me. I wrapped my arms around her small body, feeling her shudder from the coldness she was feeling. I was really worried about what was ailing my baby girl. I took her favorite blanket out of her crib and wrapped it around her body.
“Her babe I got you some pants.” I thanked him and passed Paisley over to him again. “I’m going to take her to the car alright.” I nodded my head and looked at my little girl. She had tears streaming down her face and it made me start crying as well. I knew that she was in pain and I really couldn’t do anything about it. “Mason she’s going to be alright.” John kissed the top of my head and walked out of the room. I just wish he could have been right.
20 minutes later, we arrived at the emergency room. The place was packed but I was determined to get my daughter checked out.
“How may I help you miss?” The older lady asked from behind the desk.
“My daughter has a fever of 105.6 and it’s not coming down.”
“Bring her back her please.” John and I walked around the desk and into the small triage area.
“Did you give her anything to try and bring the fever down?”
“We gave her a dose of Motrin but it doesn’t seem to be working.” The lady started writing down the words that were coming out of my mouth. I looked over at Paisley and saw she was trying to sleep but was failing miserably.
“Let me take her temperature real fast.” John sat her up so the lady could do her work. She placed the white instrument on her forehead and looked at the screen. “106.1. We are going to have to admit her right away.” I was a nervous wreck now. My 11 month old daughter was getting admitted into the hospital and nobody knew why. “Dr. Kendall please report to triage.” She took 3 surgical mask out of her drawer, placing one on her face and handing the other two to John and I. “What are these for?” John asked looking confused.
“Your daughter seems to be showing symptoms of Meningitis. In precaution, we need you to wear those until she is stable.” Meningitis? How in the world could she have gotten that?
Minutes later the Dr stepped into the room. “Hi I’m Dr. Kendall. What seems to be the problem here?” Was he really asking that question. “What does it look like Doc? My daughter has a 106.1 fucking fever and you’re over here playing 20 fucking questions. I just want my baby to be better, is that so much to ask for?” I knew I was getting dramatic, but I had a right too.
“Okay Miss, we are going to do our very best to get your daughter better. I understand you’re very upset but that’s not going to help matters.” He took Paisley out of John’s arms and into one of the rooms.
“Miss I’m going to have to ask you some question pertaining your daughter.” I nodded my head and wiped my face with the back of my hand.
“What is the child’s full name?”
“Paisley Belle O’Callaghan.” John took my hand and squeezed it tightly.
“Child’s date of birth?”
March, 26th, 2007.” I watched as she typed all of the information into the computer.
“Parent’s name?”
“Mason and John O’Callaghan.”
“Address?” This was starting to really piss me off.
“1111 Simpson Road. Tempe, Arizona”
“Any medical conditions?” I shook my head no.
“Any allergies?”
“Amoxicillin.” She nodded her head and typed a few more things. I just wanted to be with my daughter right now.
“Are we done?” She shook her head no.
“I need your insurance information.” I slammed my hand up to my head and sighed.
“Babe I’ll do it, just go be with Paisley.” I nodded my head and practically ran out of the room.
I peaked into each room trying to find her. All the rooms were filled with kids but non of them belonged to me. After passing the 7th room, I finally found her. She was hooked up to an I.V. and other monitors. My heart literally broke into a million tiny pieces. I never wanted to see my child this way or anybody for that matter. I wiped away my tears and approached the bed she was lying in. She looked just like a little angel, so sweet and beautiful.
“Are you Paisley’s mom?” I turned around and saw a nurse enter the room.
“Yes I am.”
“We had to place her into a medical coma in order to get the fever down. The medicine was not working and it still appears that way.”
“Is she going to be all right. Please tell me my baby is going to be all right?” Tears started streaming down my face once again.
“We all doing all we can for her but children with this serious of a case usually don’t survive.”
“Wait are you telling me my daughter is going to die?”
“I’m not saying that but you may want to call your family and friends.” My daughter was going to die and nobody could do anything about it. “I’ll give you some time with her.” I pulled a chair up to Paisley’s bedside and took her small hand in mine.
“Hey baby girl. I know you can’t hear me right now but I just want you to know that I love you with all my heart. You’re the best thing that ever came into my life Paisley and I’m so damn grateful for that sweetie. I’m grateful that I met you crazy daddy and that we created such a beautiful little angel. Mommy just wants you to get better so we can get out of here. I want to see you grow up Paisley. I want to be able to hear your first word, watch you take your first step, take you to your first day of school, and yell at you when you become a teenager. Please baby girl wake up, I need to see those beautiful green eyes again.” I let out a sigh and looked at her. She was lifeless and it was killing me inside to see her that way. “Please God, please don’t take my baby away from me. She’s my whole world and I don’t know what I’m going to do without her. I know I’m not religious or anything but please just answer my prayer. Please God?” I rubbed my thumb lightly over her little hand and just continued to look at her. She was my everything and I would die if she left me.
“How’s she doing?” I turned and looked at John.
“She’s dying John and there’s nothing we can do about it. She was fine and dandy this afternoon and now she’s in a coma.” I was now crying again. I had probably cried for 20 people in the time of an hour.
“Babe we can always have another one.” I looked up at John with a confused face. Did he really just say what I think he said?”
“How could you say such a thing John. OUR 11 MONTH OLD DAUGHTER IS DYING AND YOU SHOW NO COMPASSION!” I really didn’t realize I was screaming until the nurses came in.
“Miss you are going to have to calm down.” I looked at the nurse and rolled my eyes.
I was about to walk back into Paisley’s room but all the bells started going off. Nurses and doctors pushed past me and hurried to her side.
“Miss I’m going to need you to go out in the hall.” The nurse pushed me back into the hallway.
I kept hearing the sound of the monitor go crazy and then it flat lined. Nurses and doctors were yelling for more assistance but it wasn’t working. I knew this was really the end. I collapsed under John’s arms and onto the floor. I was in pure shock that I couldn’t even bring myself to cry anymore. The doctor walked out and gave us a sad expression.
“We did all we could but it wasn’t good enough. I’m so so sorry for your lose.” John broke down next to me but for some reason the tears were still not flowing. In my mind this was all just a bad dream and it would soon be over. But me thinking that was just a dream. My little Paisley was never coming back; she was gone forever.
A week after Paisley’s funeral, things between John and I started to go down hill. He would come home drunk every night or not come home period. We fought about the silliest things in the world but they escaladed into something deeper. The final straw was when he told me it was my fault for Paisley’s death. I blew my gasket and started going crazy. He had no right to say that it was my fault when it clearly wasn’t. I packed all my stuff up and left 3 hours later. I needed something better in my life besides John O’Callaghan.
My mom just stared at me as I finished the story.
“Mason you have to learn to forgive and forget. If you don’t learn that lesson, things are going to start eating you up.” I rolled my eyes.
“Whatever mom. I thought you would take my side but apparently not.” I walked out of my room and into the bathroom. I placed my hands on the sides off the sink and just stared into the mirror. Paisley’s smiling face was running through my mind. She looked so much like John, it was scary. We were such a happy family. I wanted that back.