Fälschung Liebe?

Bill’s P.o.V::.

I took Casey out to Starbucks for a big chocolate muffin and a hot cup of coffee, just as she wanted. She seemed pretty down the whole time, but I can’t say I don’t blame her. I couldn’t have imagined what had happened to Peter, but now that I know a bit more, I must say that I can understand her resistance in a way. I mean, I never lost my fiancée, but I have lost someone who was so close. I’ll never fully understand her sadness, but I can try to understand it right?

We ate at Starbucks and hit McDonalds on the way home for a little more food. I didn’t notice that we haven’t eaten all day, but the second I smelled her muffin, I was starving!

When we got back to my hotel room she was tired, but not enough to go to sleep. I grabbed two beers from the fridge and set ourselves up on the couch to watch a movie.

“Does it matter what we watch?” I asked her. She shook her head and stayed focused on the screen in front of her.

She didn’t say much all day, but she didn’t not say anything. She answered my ‘are you okay’s and gave me acknowledgements that she was listening. I felt so bad; maybe my confession was a bit too early. But I felt like it was good to be honest, so she’d understand my actions and such.

What I don’t get is that it was years okay, I mean, she didn’t give me all the details, but it seems as though it’s been years since he died. I know it’s hard and she really loved him, so I understand her resistance.

She popped her beer open and took a rather big swag. Was she trying to numb her pain? Is she thirsty? Yeah, smart Bill, she just took a trip down sorrow lane and she’s thirsty. Real smart, she’s trying to numb her pain.

“The larger the swag, the bigger the hang over.” I mumbled, taking a normal sip of my beer.

“’I’d rather feel pain than nothing at all.’ Three Days Grace.” She winked at me. She chugged the rest of her beer and watched the TV with little interest. I turned back to the tv with little hope of making her talk to me.

After a few moments of silence, she made a noise that sounded something like a questioning moan. I turned to her and saw her fiddling with her fingers. Her red hair falling all around her face and her confused expression.

“I have a question.” She finally said.

“I have an answer.” Was my response.

“What made you want to tell me your feelings?” She asked carefully. I could tell she didn’t want to hurt my feelings, and I was a bit happy about that. I smiled a bit and sighed lightly.

“Well, I wasn’t lying when I said I felt something. At first it was a bit scary, so I tried to ignore it and push you away in fear of attachment. But then I finally realized that I couldn’t push you away because I loved talking to you.” I smiled a bit, but kept my glance distance to keep my mind on track, I always get lost in her eyes. “Then we almost had sex and I realized that to me, it wouldn’t be sex, it would be making love, and because it would be with someone I loved. That’s when I finally realized I had to tell you my feelings, it wouldn’t be right to hide something of great importance like that.” I turned my head and saw her staring at me attentively, I smiled at her and moved my hand over hers and gave her a light squeeze.

“You really mean it Bill? You love me?” She seemed as though she was trying to smile or be flattered, but it was all over her face. I nodded at her questions and pulled her hand to my lips, kissing it lightly.

“I’m aware that you’re not comfortable yet because of Peter, so I’m willing to wait.” I told her, and I meant it.

“Bill, thank you, but I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready.” She smiled apologetically. “Peter was supposed to be my forever and I know he’s gone and never coming back. I know he wants me to move on, but it makes me feel uneasy. I’m sure of much anymore…” She leaned over and kissed my cheek. She leaned close to my ear and whispered lightly, “I want to try.”

I froze, I turned to her, nearly knocking our heads together and smiled. “Really!?” I asked, I wanted to be sure I heard her right. She nodded slightly and smiled. I hugged her super tight and kissed her face all over. “Thank. You. Thank. You.” I kissed her between thanking her. She giggled and I hugged her tighter.

“Let’s go on a date!” I smiled giddily. She shook her head no and I frowned hard. “Why not?”

“Cause I’m exhausted, I want to sleep!” Casey laughed. I nodded and decided it was getting late. I checked the clock and it was already past midnight. Damn, time flies now-a-days.

“Sweet.” She smiled and headed to my bed, well, technically ‘our’ bed. She sat on the bed and laid down, not even bothering with the covers. I chuckled and her laziness and pulled the covers to her chest and slid in next to her. I pulled her close and breathed in her luscious scent. After a few moments of peace, I fell right to sleep with a huge grin on my face.

Casey’s P.o.V::.

I told him I wanted to go to bed because I needed to process my thoughts, not jumble the on a date. I just told him we could try dating for real. I’m terrified. What if something happens and we break up, then I lose my best friend and he’ll be stuck with that Lucy bitch probably.

I said yes but I don’t think I was emotionally ready to. Scratch that, I’m never going to be ‘ready’ so that’s not even a valid argument.

I didn’t say yes just to make him happy, I said it because I really did want to try! I have so many doubts about this though, and I don’t want anything to happen to our friendship.

Maybe I need to talk this out with Carol tomorrow; I’ll pay my restaurant a little visit when I wake up. It’s been a while. I hope everything there is okay.

I haven’t heard much word on how my house is coming along either, damn, I’ve been a hobbit. I don’t even know what’s going on with my living space. Granted I’ve been safe and sound in Bill’s hotel, but I can’t stay here forever. He’s going on tour eventually and I have to go back to work sometime. I’m not making much money with only two crew members. Well, they were supposed to hire a few people to help them.

Ugh, I need some sleep. And a freakin’ cigarette.