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One Last Chance
Fifteen.
It only took a few moments for the drug to hit him. When it did, he felt a warming sensation throughout his entire body. The feeling almost overwhelmed him at first. He had forgotten what it felt like, having been clean for fifteen years now. Once he calmed down, he lay back on his bed and allowed the sensations to dominate his body. This feeling was unlike anything he had experienced in years. It was better than any orgasm he had ever had. Better than any release he had ever felt. It was simply amazing.
He continued to lay there and stare at the ceiling in a trance like state for hours. There was absolutely no telling how much time had passed. It could have been years and he would have never noticed. When he finally came back to himself, he heaved himself from the bed and began stumbling toward the door.
He stumbled into the kitchen, pulled out a bottle of Firewhiskey, and took a huge swig out of it. Barely registering the fact that his throat was on fire, he took two huge gulps before putting the bottle back down on the table. Just then, the portrait hole swung open and the boys entered the kitchen a few moments later.
"Severus!" Harry exclaimed and it barely registered in his mind that this was the first time the boy had addressed him by his given name.
"We thought you were dead! Do you have any idea what time it is?" He shrugged before taking another sip of Firewhiskey. He really didn't care as long as it was still Sunday.
"It's two o'clock!"
Severus did the math in his head as quickly as his current predicament would allow. He had been out of it for nearly seventeen hours. He hadn’t slept in thirty hours. Hopefully it wouldn't be like this every time, he had a job after all. When he didn't show any concern for the time, the two boys began scanning him.
"Severus." Draco spoke quietly. "Are you alright? I know the last week has not been easy for you, but you can always talk to me. I know you are not a man who expresses your feelings, but it's just me. I won't judge you."
"Nor will I." Said Harry
It was very kind of them to offer their condolences, but he did not need them. He just wanted to be left alone. He just wanted to shoot up again. He just wanted to forget everything that had occurred. Forget that he'd fallen in love. Forget that he'd lost his love.
"Go do your homework boys." He said lamely, taking another gulp of the alcohol.
They didn't protest this time, but he didn't miss the look the two gave each other either as they exited the room. He put his head down on the table for a moment and must have drifted off for a few hours because it was pitch black when he looked out the window.
Sighing, he picked up his bottle and retreated to the living room. With a flick of his wand, the old muggle radio sitting in the corner of the room came on. Many would be shocked to find out he had the muggle device in his quarters, but he honestly preferred Muggle music to wizard music. The words seemed to hold more meaning. He couldn't explain it; it just felt that way to him.
The first station he flipped to was a sports station. He changed it, not caring about Muggle sports in the slightest. He lingered on the next station for a minute, enjoying the beat of the music. "Put your glasses to the sky, damn I'm so high. And she fine, I be on it all night." Severus curled his lip in disgust and quickly changed the station. These muggles apparently had no respect for women. All they seemed to care about was partying and drinking. Looking at the bottle in his hand, he snorted to himself at the irony of his thoughts.
The next station he changed to was a country station. He strongly disliked this type of music, but before he could change it, some of the words began to catch his attention.
"I really hate to let this moment go.
Touchin your skin and your hair fallin slow”
He was lying in the hospital bed with Remus, brushing his hair out of his face, running his hand along his perfect body, losing himself in the other man.
“When a goodbye kiss, feels like this”
When was their last kiss? It took him a moment, but he finally remembered. It had been the day after they had made love to one another, before everything went straight to hell. They had just returned from lunch in the Great Hall. They were sitting side by side on the couch, catching up on their grading.
“Pass me the red ink babe.” Remus had said.
Severus had opened his mouth to retort that he was not his slave, but then he had caught onto the name Remus had called him. It had just rolled off his tongue, as if it were the most normal thing in the world. As if he had been calling him that all of his life. Although he would never admit it, he had hidden a huge smile at the man’s words before passing him the ink without complaint.
Remus had looked up at him with an odd expression on his face for a moment. Maybe the other man was shocked that he hadn’t complained. Without so much of a warning, Remus grabbed his chin and pressed his lips to his. It only lasted a second, but it was a slow and sweet kiss. Neither of them had known it would be their last.
“Don't you wanna stay here a little while?
Don't you wanna hold each other tight?
Don't you wanna fall asleep with me tonight?
Don't you wanna stay here a little while?”
The memories were beginning to hit him hard. He was coming down from his high and dissolving into an emotional wreck within seconds. He hated Remus. He hated him for making him feel this way. He hated him for turning him into a weeping old fool. He hated him for breaking his heart. He fucking hated him, but he was hopelessly in love with the man.
“We can make forever feel this way.
Don't you wanna stay?”
Severus finally broke, placing his head in his hands as the tears streamed down his cheeks.
Cursing himself for breaking down once again, but unable to quell his tears, he began chugging from his bottle. As he couldn’t even think about moving to get his needle at the moment, the alcohol sitting in front of him was the next best thing. After a few seconds, his throat became immune to the burning sensation one got from drinking hard liquor.
He lowered the bottle and sobs immediately began wracking throughout his body once again. Without a second thought, he tipped his head back and drained the rest of the bottle. For some reason, his drunken state wasn’t numbing his pain in any way.
Frustrated with his body’s reluctance to cooperate, he smashed the liquor bottle on the coffee table in front of him. It shattered with a loud crack. Fuck. The alcohol beginning to kick in completely now, he starting picking up the broken class with his fingers, not noticing the blood dripping out of his hands.
His arms were grabbed and pulled away from the coffee table. Draco and Harry were standing in front of him; completely white faced and scared looking. He made to stand and leave, they shouldn’t have to see him like this. He had only half rose from his seat when he was forced back down.
Harry sat next to him on the couch and began picking the glass out of his wounds with a pair of tweezers he had found somewhere. Meanwhile, Draco was cleaning up the glass and blood littering the table as well as the carpet. Harry finished removing the glass, healed the wounds on his hand with his wand, and forced him to drink a blood replenishing potion.
All through this, Severus had not stopped crying. He could not stop crying if his life depended on it at the moment. He found himself leaning into Harry and his sobs reduced some as the younger boy wrapped his arms around him. He put his arms around the boys’ torso, desperately clinging to him as they waited for Draco to finish cleaning up.
He felt himself being pulled up and allowed himself to be escorted to his bedroom. The boys closed the door behind him and he changed into a pair of Muggle sweatpants and a t-shirt. Just as he was about to lower himself into bed, the door swung open to reveal the boys in their pajamas.
Without a word, they climbed into bed and lay on either side of him. They scooted closer together until they were all pressed up against each other, barely unable to move. As much as he tried to fight the sleep that was coming, he was out like a light within minutes. Sometimes it was nice to be surrounded by people who cared.
He continued to lay there and stare at the ceiling in a trance like state for hours. There was absolutely no telling how much time had passed. It could have been years and he would have never noticed. When he finally came back to himself, he heaved himself from the bed and began stumbling toward the door.
He stumbled into the kitchen, pulled out a bottle of Firewhiskey, and took a huge swig out of it. Barely registering the fact that his throat was on fire, he took two huge gulps before putting the bottle back down on the table. Just then, the portrait hole swung open and the boys entered the kitchen a few moments later.
"Severus!" Harry exclaimed and it barely registered in his mind that this was the first time the boy had addressed him by his given name.
"We thought you were dead! Do you have any idea what time it is?" He shrugged before taking another sip of Firewhiskey. He really didn't care as long as it was still Sunday.
"It's two o'clock!"
Severus did the math in his head as quickly as his current predicament would allow. He had been out of it for nearly seventeen hours. He hadn’t slept in thirty hours. Hopefully it wouldn't be like this every time, he had a job after all. When he didn't show any concern for the time, the two boys began scanning him.
"Severus." Draco spoke quietly. "Are you alright? I know the last week has not been easy for you, but you can always talk to me. I know you are not a man who expresses your feelings, but it's just me. I won't judge you."
"Nor will I." Said Harry
It was very kind of them to offer their condolences, but he did not need them. He just wanted to be left alone. He just wanted to shoot up again. He just wanted to forget everything that had occurred. Forget that he'd fallen in love. Forget that he'd lost his love.
"Go do your homework boys." He said lamely, taking another gulp of the alcohol.
They didn't protest this time, but he didn't miss the look the two gave each other either as they exited the room. He put his head down on the table for a moment and must have drifted off for a few hours because it was pitch black when he looked out the window.
Sighing, he picked up his bottle and retreated to the living room. With a flick of his wand, the old muggle radio sitting in the corner of the room came on. Many would be shocked to find out he had the muggle device in his quarters, but he honestly preferred Muggle music to wizard music. The words seemed to hold more meaning. He couldn't explain it; it just felt that way to him.
The first station he flipped to was a sports station. He changed it, not caring about Muggle sports in the slightest. He lingered on the next station for a minute, enjoying the beat of the music. "Put your glasses to the sky, damn I'm so high. And she fine, I be on it all night." Severus curled his lip in disgust and quickly changed the station. These muggles apparently had no respect for women. All they seemed to care about was partying and drinking. Looking at the bottle in his hand, he snorted to himself at the irony of his thoughts.
The next station he changed to was a country station. He strongly disliked this type of music, but before he could change it, some of the words began to catch his attention.
"I really hate to let this moment go.
Touchin your skin and your hair fallin slow”
He was lying in the hospital bed with Remus, brushing his hair out of his face, running his hand along his perfect body, losing himself in the other man.
“When a goodbye kiss, feels like this”
When was their last kiss? It took him a moment, but he finally remembered. It had been the day after they had made love to one another, before everything went straight to hell. They had just returned from lunch in the Great Hall. They were sitting side by side on the couch, catching up on their grading.
“Pass me the red ink babe.” Remus had said.
Severus had opened his mouth to retort that he was not his slave, but then he had caught onto the name Remus had called him. It had just rolled off his tongue, as if it were the most normal thing in the world. As if he had been calling him that all of his life. Although he would never admit it, he had hidden a huge smile at the man’s words before passing him the ink without complaint.
Remus had looked up at him with an odd expression on his face for a moment. Maybe the other man was shocked that he hadn’t complained. Without so much of a warning, Remus grabbed his chin and pressed his lips to his. It only lasted a second, but it was a slow and sweet kiss. Neither of them had known it would be their last.
“Don't you wanna stay here a little while?
Don't you wanna hold each other tight?
Don't you wanna fall asleep with me tonight?
Don't you wanna stay here a little while?”
The memories were beginning to hit him hard. He was coming down from his high and dissolving into an emotional wreck within seconds. He hated Remus. He hated him for making him feel this way. He hated him for turning him into a weeping old fool. He hated him for breaking his heart. He fucking hated him, but he was hopelessly in love with the man.
“We can make forever feel this way.
Don't you wanna stay?”
Severus finally broke, placing his head in his hands as the tears streamed down his cheeks.
Cursing himself for breaking down once again, but unable to quell his tears, he began chugging from his bottle. As he couldn’t even think about moving to get his needle at the moment, the alcohol sitting in front of him was the next best thing. After a few seconds, his throat became immune to the burning sensation one got from drinking hard liquor.
He lowered the bottle and sobs immediately began wracking throughout his body once again. Without a second thought, he tipped his head back and drained the rest of the bottle. For some reason, his drunken state wasn’t numbing his pain in any way.
Frustrated with his body’s reluctance to cooperate, he smashed the liquor bottle on the coffee table in front of him. It shattered with a loud crack. Fuck. The alcohol beginning to kick in completely now, he starting picking up the broken class with his fingers, not noticing the blood dripping out of his hands.
His arms were grabbed and pulled away from the coffee table. Draco and Harry were standing in front of him; completely white faced and scared looking. He made to stand and leave, they shouldn’t have to see him like this. He had only half rose from his seat when he was forced back down.
Harry sat next to him on the couch and began picking the glass out of his wounds with a pair of tweezers he had found somewhere. Meanwhile, Draco was cleaning up the glass and blood littering the table as well as the carpet. Harry finished removing the glass, healed the wounds on his hand with his wand, and forced him to drink a blood replenishing potion.
All through this, Severus had not stopped crying. He could not stop crying if his life depended on it at the moment. He found himself leaning into Harry and his sobs reduced some as the younger boy wrapped his arms around him. He put his arms around the boys’ torso, desperately clinging to him as they waited for Draco to finish cleaning up.
He felt himself being pulled up and allowed himself to be escorted to his bedroom. The boys closed the door behind him and he changed into a pair of Muggle sweatpants and a t-shirt. Just as he was about to lower himself into bed, the door swung open to reveal the boys in their pajamas.
Without a word, they climbed into bed and lay on either side of him. They scooted closer together until they were all pressed up against each other, barely unable to move. As much as he tried to fight the sleep that was coming, he was out like a light within minutes. Sometimes it was nice to be surrounded by people who cared.