Cursed

As I lie in bed, staring up at my ceiling, I go over the things I heard Friday afternoon. Shailey and Finn are hiding something, that much is obvious. My suspicions only rose more when I attempted to call Finn today and when he answered he thought up a quick excuse not to talk to me. At first it didn’t really bother me but the more I thought about it the more I felt that something is up. But what?

No matter what I think of it doesn’t help explain the conversation between Shailey and Finn. I mean, why would Finn have to hide? What can’t he control? Why doesn’t Finn feel that he’s safe to be around? He’s never harmed me before or anyone that I know of…it doesn’t make sense.

Or maybe I’m thinking too much into this? I don’t know…but I am determined to find out what’s up.

Sighing, I sit up and head to the back porch where I take a seat on the steps. It’s dark out until the motion sensing lights flicker on and I’m able to see the back yard. There’s a soft ‘snapping’ sound to my right and my head turns, quickly, to inspect it. When there’s nothing there I shrug it off and continue watching the sky until my dad comes out to get me, telling me it’s late and I need to go to sleep because tomorrow is Monday.

I whine because I can’t believe the weekend’s already over. I had really wanted to spend my days with Finn but since that damn penis muncher won’t hang out with me for unknown reasons, we didn’t. I will have to have a word with him tomorrow…

And I do have a word with him in first period. I jump on his desk, which obviously catches his attention. He watches me for a moment as I grin down at him but eventually he sighs and looks away while asking, “Do you need something?”

“Actually, I was thinking that you should come over after school.” I have a feeling he’s going to say no. I just have this…gut feeling that he’s avoiding me. Whatever that conversation between him and Shailey was about, it’s making him avoid me. I don’t like it. It’s kind of…really pissing me off.

If they’re talking about me I should know what it’s about! Right? Right.

The moment I suggest this completely awesome plan, because that’s what it is, an awesome plan. If Finn comes over then I can jump him and smother him with kisses and seduce him because he’s a hot piece of man meat and I am ready! Ah…that made me sound like a slut so scratch that last part.

Finn stiffens. He bites his lip, which is already scabbed. When did he even get that? He shouldn’t do that to his beautiful lips! I want them to be soft and smooth when we kiss!

I reach out to run my thumb across his lip in hopes to keep him from continuing the abuse. When our skin touches Finn flinches away and quickly throws a hand over his mouth. Mumbling, he finally replies, “I can’t, sorry.”

“Why not?” I whine, kicking my legs to show that I do not approve of his answer. I don’t get it! Why is he avoiding me? I finally thought I got my hands on his sweet, sexy ass but I have not. Don’t get my hopes up, bastards!

Finn groans and throws his head back, angrily. He‘s quiet for a couple of seconds as he tries to think about something but finally answers, “I just can’t, ok.”

“Finnegan, are you avoiding me?” I eye him suspiciously. I know he is avoiding me. Well maybe not avoiding me but he’s trying to spend less time with me. Kieran does not approve this message.

“No. What makes you think that?” He answered that way too quickly.

“Uh…maybe because you canceled on me Friday when you asked me, which doesn’t happen! You never ask. I always have to force you so it’s obvious you wanted to hang out and I don’t know why you canceled but you did! And then you wouldn’t answer any of my calls this weekend and now you say you can’t hang out after school and won’t give me a good reason.” I huff and puff out my cheeks, cutely. Acting cute always helps things.

Finn finally looks back at me. Once again, he bites his lip and I’m tempted to try running my thumb over the skin once again but after he flinched away last time I don’t know if I should. He’s frowning when he finally says, “Just drop it, Kieran…we shouldn’t hang out on our own. Invite Shailey or something.”

So maybe I have a very strong desire to kick and scream, whine and cry but I don’t. Sighing, I give up and head to my desk when our teacher walks in. That pisses me off. Why should I invite Shailey? Can’t I just hang out with Finn? I love Shailey, she’s awesome so don’t start thinking I don’t want to hang out with her…I just want to have alone time with Finn, just like there are times I want to be alone with Shailey.

I didn’t talk until I met up with Shailey after first. Finn seemed like he wanted me to say something or had the urge to speak to me but he says nothing and walks off after the bell rings. The girl skips over to me in the hall. She’s smiling until she sees me.

“What’s wrong?” She asks, concerned.

I shrug. “Nothing…it just feels like I’m not being told something.”

Shailey stares at me with a funny expression. “What do you mean?”

I don’t reply even when Shailey continues to try to talk to me about. I have to figure this out. Well, technically I don’t have to but that my friends is beside the point. I want to. It’s basically the same thing! And the day goes on slowly. I’m too busy trying to figure things out to really mess around with Shailey and by the end of the day Shailey officially believes I’m sick.

“You’re acting weird!” She shouts and presses her palm to my forehead to check for a temperature. Obviously, she doesn’t feel any heat. I’m not sick. I’m just thinking but I can’t talk to Shailey about it since I’m sure she won’t tell me a thing.

“Nuh uh.”

“Yes huh! Finn, tell Kieran he’s acting weird!” Shailey looks to the boy for help. When Finn looks at me, he sighs and shrugs. Shailey complains about him being completely useless and gets into the car with me right after her. “If you don’t feel good, tell me.”

“I’m fine, really! You worry too much.”

Shailey pouts and finally gets into the car with me right after her. Like everyday Finn drives me home and I get out of the car. Shailey is saying goodbye when I lean through Finn’s open window. Finn is about ready to ask me what the hell I’m doing but he shuts his mouth when he feels my lips brushing against his ear.

“I always feel safe when you’re around, Finnegan.”

When I see his eyes widen I know that he realizes I heard the conversation between him and Shailey. He’s ready to ask me about it but I’m already at my front door before he can. Grinning, I turn around and wave at them once more and disappear inside.

I don’t know if Finn is going to say anything about it tomorrow but I hope he does. I feel like a detective trying to figure this all out. I shall get to the bottom of this mystery!