Cursed

How much of our conversation had he heard? The most I knew was that it was up to the part where Shailey said it wasn’t safe for me to be around Kieran. She doesn’t realize that I would never hurt him. I wouldn’t even think of putting him in a position that allowed me to. The fluke at the campfire was because we were so close to each other. But still, he was variable to this situation.

No, Shailey was probably right. I probably can’t be with him without hurting him, or scaring him. Not everything could go according to the plan I wanted. Either way, Kieran could never know what I was. I could just picture the look on his face when he found out. Shock and fear taking over his features, marring his beautiful face. I didn’t want to see that, I didn’t want to see the betrayal.

I bit my lip as the scab opened again and started to bleed.

*~*~*~*~*~*

As I saw my parents in the living room, I wondered if I should tell them that Kieran is starting to figure everything out. We would probably have to move, start a new life somewhere else and try to blend in again.

What was I going to do? I couldn’t ask him how much he knew because then that would be enough for him to know that I’m hiding something and beg me to tell him.

“Hey Mom, Dad,” I greeted before moving to go to my room.

“Wait a minute, Finn,” My dad called out.

I froze and backed up to face them. “Yeah?”

“Shailey says you like someone in your class?” Mom chimed in.

“She’s mistaken,” I growled.

“Finn, it’s okay, my sister is married to a human, a little crush isn’t much in comparison,” she said.

“Right,” I agreed and before they could continue to ask me about it, I walked back to my room.

I thought they might have been onto me when I told them about how Kieran affected me, but I guess it didn’t really hit them until Shailey said I liked them.

However, it didn’t feel like a little crush. Every day it felt more and more serious. Would it keep growing like this or would it fade away?

At that moment, I got up and escaped out my window and onto the backyard patio. Shailey needed to know that Kieran heard us. Maybe she would know what to do. Or at least then I wouldn’t feel like it’s completely my fault.

I knocked on her door before she opened it. “Finn,” she said expectantly.

“Shailey, he heard us,” I said, ignoring her half-hearted greeting.

Her face turned deadly serious. “How much did he hear? How do you know?”

“I think it was only around the part where you said he wasn’t s-safe around me,” I told her. “He told me that he… felt safe around me though.”

“Are we just going on a hunch? Or are you bragging or…”

“I just… it was in the way he said it, like he knew something, it would have been obvious to you if you’d heard it,” I tried to clarify.

“Okay, okay, we’ll just say that you’re right and he had heard, that means you need to avoid him at all costs so he doesn’t try to investigate anything more about you,” she instructed.

I gnawed my teeth together as her words sunk in.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

At school, for the next week I managed to avoid Kieran completely, I skipped first period, even.

But I would catch him out of the corner of my eye and see him giving me these sad looks like he thought I wanted nothing to do with him. But I did. I did so badly, but Shailey wouldn’t let me, I knew that it wouldn’t be safe enough for him to be with me. I wanted to be by his side all the time as his lover but that could never work out.

I’d do anything to become human, anything if it meant I could be with Kieran.

Most nights, I got really frustrated and would go out running and, like a puppy, I’d keep wondering back to Kieran’s house, making sure that everything was safe in a minute’s time so Shailey couldn’t find me and berate me again.

But, one day at school, instead of Shailey yelling at me, I found myself face to face with an angry-looking Kieran. I put on a stone face and began to brace anything he’d say.

“Why have you been avoiding me?” Kieran cried. “One minute, we’re pretty much friends, the next you’re as cold as ice!”

My lip quivered. I wanted so badly to tell him why, to let it out in the open. But I’d have to pray for him to not call me crazy or be afraid. What kind of God would listen to a prayer from a monster though?

But, for once in a long while, I got to smell his sweet scent and experience his melodic voice once again, even if it was yelling at me.

“Why aren’t you saying anything, Finn!?” He shouted, desperation marking his voice.

“Because I’m not allowed to!” I finally snapped. After realizing what I had done, I gritted my teeth and quickly looked away.

“You’re not allowed to?” He repeated. “What are you talking about?”

"I just... can't," I tried to weave my way around it. But his gaze told me that this wouldn't be over until he got to the bottom of this.