Temporary Bliss

“Uh, hi.” I whispered.

She gave me a blank look and rolled her eyes. She turned around on her heels and headed back into her house. I sighed and took a step in, removing my shoes on the rug after shutting the door. I followed her up to her room, shutting that door behind me and then leaned against it.

“How long?” were the first words out of her mouth.

“How long what?”

“Quit the fucking bullshit Charlotte. I know you’re cheating on Cameron.”

I sighed, crossing my arms in front of my chest, “A little more than two months.”

“Oh my god Charlotte!” she shrieked. “The last two months of your relationship with Cameron has been one big fucking lie!”

I kept my eyes fixed on the ground, “Well, no, not exactly. I mean, I still love him.”

“Then what the fuck are you doing running around with this…this guy?! Did you just get bored with Cameron and decide to screw around with another guy? You can’t do that in a relationship Charlotte! A relationship is a commitment.”

“I know that. I know what a relationship is, Caroline.”

“Do you, Charlotte? Because when you said yes to Cameron you were agreeing that you were his and his only!” She looked at me, her furious eyes meeting mine. “Did you just decide to give the whole fucking neighborhood a taste of Charlotte one day or what?”

“You’re making it seem like I slept with every guy in Poway, Caroline. It’s just one guy!”

“So you slept with him?” She laughed dryly, rolling her eyes. She wasn’t sitting on her bed anymore; she was pacing in front of me, using huge arm movements. “This just keeps getting better and better!”

“You’re acting like you were the one cheated on.” I mumbled, rolling my eyes.

“I heard that.” She said, narrowing her eyes at me. If looks could kill… “You basically did cheat on me Charlotte, I’m your best friend, we’re supposed to tell each other things! You kept a secret from me for two months, and it wasn’t a small secret!”

“I’m sorry, okay? What else do you want me to say? I’m fucking sorry I didn’t tell you. It’s not like you haven’t kept anything from me, you never told me when you started dating Zach, you kept it hidden and snuck around to see him, you blew off plans with me because of him!”

“Don’t turn this on me! You always think you do no wrong.”

“I do not! I admitted this was wrong of me! It’s not like I did it on purpose either! I know how bad this is going to hurt Cameron; I know how much of a fucking slut I am. I’m fully aware how big I messed up!” Hot tears started to escape my eyes and cascade down my cheeks. I furiously wiped them away, blinking to clear my blurry vision. “I’m going to lose the best thing that has ever happened to me, the sweetest, most caring guy on the planet.” I took in a shaky breath, glancing up at Caroline’s stone hard face. “And now I’m going to lose you, my best friend. You’re more important than any boy. I betrayed your trust when I should have been upfront and told you right when it happened.”

“You’re not going to lose me, Charlotte.” Caroline’s voice was quieter and her face had softened. “Can we just sit down and talk about this…without yelling.”

I nodded, sniffling as I walked over to her bed sitting down on the soft bed covered in a purple comforter. I sucked in a shaky breath as I prepared to spill everything to her.

“His name‘s Michael, I work with him. I always thought he was cute but I never thought about being with him or whatever.”

I took my eyes off of the purple bedspread and looked up at Caroline. She nodded, telling me to go on.

“He kissed me in the back room at work, we were arguing before, and he kept telling me I didn’t love Cameron and that I wasn‘t happy with him and he just, just kissed me, I didn‘t even have time to react! I wasn‘t even expecting it. It lasted like a second. And then he walked out the door and left. We didn‘t talk, he called in sick to work. The next time I saw him was at the football game, when we played against his school. I avoided him. But that was the first day that I realized the spark I had when I kissed Cameron was dying down.”

I felt a hand on my shoulder and quickly wiped my tears away, “It‘s okay, Charlotte.” Caroline said softly.

I smiled a little and glanced up at her. I waited a few minutes, calming myself, before I continued on.

“I started sneaking out to see him, at like eleven o‘clock at night, once a week. I‘d sneak out and hang out with him. Sometimes we‘d go to that diner down the street, or just go on walks and talk. I told him I liked him, he told me that he liked me. We only kissed a few of those nights. But there was a spark, and I didn’t have that with Cameron anymore, so it felt nice. They’re both so different, Cameron is a complete gentleman, and Michael is the exact opposite.”

“Charlotte, that isn’t that bad, I mean, it would have been better if you broke up with Cameron before starting things with Michael…”

I nodded, “I know. I would love to be with Cameron, but if I’m not feeling anything, it’s not fair to him.”

“So…you slept with him?”

I nodded, “I wasn‘t thinking. I know it was stupid, John already lectured me on it and everything.” I sighed, “I was going to break up with Cam before he even asked me to prom, but then he asked and I couldn’t say no. Then at lunch, after we got our dresses, he was so excited; I couldn’t take that from him.”

“So….you‘re going to break up with him after prom?” she asked.

I nodded, “Yeah. Michael kind of asked me to. He told me he was going to commit to me.”

“Wait, wait, wait! What does he mean commit to you?” she asked, confusion written all over her face.

“I wasn‘t the only girl he was ‘seeing’. There were others, but I was okay with that…”

“Do you believe him?” she asked cautiously.

I looked up at her, sighing, “I want to…”

She nodded, staying silent.

“You‘re not going to tell Cameron or Zach, are you?” I wondered.

“No, your secret is safe with me. It‘s not my secret to tell anyway.”

“Are we good?”

She nodded, smiling, “Yeah, but I want to meet this Michael guy.”

“You’ll definitely meet him. He’s got these cute dimples and big brown eyes. And he acts like he’s such a pimp but he’s a total sweetheart. And he has the softest lips.” I smiled, thinking about him.

“You’re completely smitten with him!” she laughed.

I bit my lip and nodded, “Yeah, I guess I am.”

“Can I change the subject? Because prom is coming up and I was thinking about getting a spray tan, and everyone else is too, but I just want to try it out, you know, like before prom, so it has time to go away if I don’t like it. So will you come with me to get it?”

“Yeah sure, when are you going?”

“The sooner the better, does tomorrow work for you?”

“Yeah, perfect. Just call me when you want to go and we can meet there.”

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

I flipped through an old issue of People Magazine as I waited for Caroline to finish getting her spray tan. I glanced at the time on my phone and saw nearly twenty minutes went by. I sighed and flipped the page of the magazine and started reading an article titled “Does Jen Aniston Have a New Man?” Just as I neared the second paragraph I heard the clonking of flip flops against the tile floor, I glanced up and saw it was Caroline. I smiled and set the magazine on the coffee table in front of me, cluttered with other fashion and gossip magazines.

“Took you long enough.” I sighed as I stood up.

“Well I had to wait for it to dry. I could barely hear the damn machine lady instructing me, too.” She laughed as she inspected her arms. “The lady said it’d take like 6 hours for it to show up completely, so now I wait. Did you want to come over and watch a movie or something?” she asked as we walked towards our cars.

I bit my lip and looked down as I stopped at the back of my car, “I think I’m going over to Cameron’s, he wants my opinion on ties for prom.” I shrugged.

I looked up and met her sad eyes; I knew she was thinking about the whole cheating thing. “Okay, have fun!”

I gave her a smile and got in my car, letting out a sigh.

Lying to Cameron was breaking my heart.