The Taste Of Your Lips Is Enough To Keep Me Here

Alex’s POV

“No, dude! Everyone knows it’s played in drop D.” Zack’s voiced raised as he slapped his hands on the table. Rian rolled his eyes and continued arguing with the younger boy.

“Can you please,” I stressed the word, “shut the fuck up?” I whined, glaring at my two best friends who were now looking at me with an odd expression.

“What crawled up your ass and died, ‘Lex?” Zack joked, raising an eyebrow. Rian held back a laugh, which resulted in a high pitched squeak.

“Nothing!” I yelled. “I mean, nothing..” I sighed and shook my head. They nodded slightly, not wanting to press the subject. I grazed my eyes around the room hoping to see one particular other person. I smiled slightly, as my eyes found him. Jack smiled at the boy sitting across from him. The boy’s hand inched toward Jacks own under the table. My face dropped and I forced myself to tear my eyes from the scene that was breaking my heart by the second.

I was such a douchebag to him. Why the hell did I ever think it would be a good idea to ignore him? My feeling for him were so sudden, and so unexpected, I didn’t know what to do.

After I dropped Jack off at his house the other night, I decided to break whatever this was off with him. There’s no way I could be falling for Jack so quickly. The way I feel make absolutely no sense. Just hearing his name makes me giggle like a little girl. His eyes put butterflies in my stomach. Every time I see him, I want nothing more than to kiss his lips and heal the broken heart I know he has but fails to show. I couldn’t handle feelings that strong.

That’s where this idea came in at. But when I looked up to see Jack and his new friend laughing, and saw the twinkle in the other boys eye, I knew I had to make this right. I would not lose the possible love of my life over some stupid decision. If things don’t go right, and we don’t end up together, that’s fine. But it sure as hell won’t be because I didn’t try.

The bell rang for fifth period. I smiled to myself knowing I have that class with Jack right next to me. I walked down the hall, noticing the usual shifting of bodies to make room for me to pass by comfortably. I shook my head slightly and sighed. After grabbing my Chem. book and shutting my locker, I walked down to my Chemistry class and took a seat in the far right corner.

I made sure nobody sat in the seat to the left of me by glaring every time someone tried. My eyes lit up as Jack entered the room with a smile on his lips. His eyes met my own, and I watched as his face dropped and turned into a mixture of hurt and hatred.

My breathing halted, as I realized I had really hurt him. I didn’t know he would be this sensitive. I knew he wouldn’t like it, but I definitely didn’t expect this. I watched him observe the room and sigh heavily when he saw the only open seat was next to me.

He looked over at me. I tried a smile. He shook his head, shifting his gaze to his desk.

“Hey, Jack. Look, I’m-“

“Alex don’t worry about it. It’s perfectly fine and I understand completely. If anything, I should thank you. You made me realize that I fall too easily, and for the wrong people. So, thank you.” He smiled a fake smile, his eyes hard.

“No. Jack, I need to explain. You see-“

“I said don’t worry about it. I honestly don’t want to listen to you right now.”

“Quit fucking interrupting me! I need to tell you the reason I did it was because I was scared. Yeah. Ha. Ha. I know. Alex Gaskarth scared. Hilarious. But really, I was. I was scared of myself. I was scared of what I felt. I thought if I stopped all contact with you, the thought of you would just go away. But it didn’t. It’s still there, and that fucking scares the shit out of me. I still find a grin on my face at the thought of you. And I know I sound really damn cheesy right now, but God, Jack. When I saw you at lunch with..” I paused.

“Payton.” He offered.

“Yeah. Whoever. When I saw you with him, I realized how much of a douche I was being. I realized that no matter what I do to try to escape how I feel, it’s not going away. I also realized I don’t want it to. There’s nothing I want more than to be able to kiss you, and hold you, and be yours Jack.” I whispered the last part.

“I was so stupid. This has been the longest day in the world, not being able to be near you. I regret it. So fucking much. Please Jack… Forgive me. Tell me you feel the same. Tell me you want what I want.” I begged. I saw Jacks eyes begin to water. That gave me hope. Hope his next words would crush.

“I can’t, Alex.” He said shakily.