Love Is Hell

We’d been in the studio for a couple of hours, finishing up the record. At the moment, Zacky and Brian were working on finishing up the guitar tracks for “Dear God.” After that, I’d go in and do some vocal tracks. However, things got interrupted when Zacky’s phone rang.

“Hello?” he answered, walking over to a different side of the room. “Yeah. Hold on, what?” His expression grew more and more worried. “Where? Okay, yeah, I’ll be there in a bit.” He hung up and shut his eyes tight. “Fuck my life,” he moaned. “Guys, I’ve got to go.”
“What’s wrong, dude?” Brian asked.

“It’s Maryssa,” he said in a grave voice. My heart stopped for a moment at the mention of her name. “She’s been in an accident. I got to go see her.” Fuck, was he serious?

“Not without me,” Jimmy said. “You’re too panicked to drive. I’ll take you. We’ll update you guys after we find out more.” And then he and Zacky walked out of the building. I sat in my chair, shocked. Ryssa was in an accident, and the last time I’d seen her, she’d been crying her eyes out because of me.

“Dude, you okay?” Johnny asked as he and Brian stared at me pityingly.
“About as fine as a guy can be after finding out that the girl he loves could be dead right now,” I replied bitterly. Brian’s brows furrowed.

“You’re still in love with her?” he asked. “No offense, but you did leave her for a gold digging whore.”

“I made a mistake. I shouldn’t have left her.”

“You know she’s probably moved on now,” he said. It was almost like he knew something.
“I’m going to try to get her back.” He and Johnny shared a look.

“Good luck trying,” Johnny replied. “Maybe we should finish up these tracks now.” And he and Brian got back to work.

---------

A few hours later, I walked into the hospital waiting room. I was about to go up to the nurses’ station and ask where Ryssa was, but I noticed Jimmy in the room and walked over to him.

“Hey,” I said. He looked at me a bit surprised but still managed to smile.

“Hey, what brings you here?”

“Ryss,” I replied. “How is she?”

“She was cussing up a storm when we got here, but it’s not so bad. She got some stitches because she was pretty cut up and got a blood transfusion because she lost a good bit of blood. Her left leg is broken and her left hand was shattered. They sent her to surgery to set the bones, and she came out of that a half hour ago. They’ve got her in the ICU for the moment until she wakes up.”

“Where’s Zack?”

“I took him home after she came out of surgery. He’s a mess over this thing. I told him to take a nap and I’d bring him whenever she woke up.” He paused for a moment. “So why are you here?”

“I can’t come visit my ex after her accident?” I asked, getting defensive.

“Why are you here?” he repeated.

“I want her back, Jimmy. I made a mistake.”

“I don’t think she’s missing you too badly, Matt.”

“I just want to talk to her.” He shrugged.

“Just better do it before Zack gets here. He’ll kill you.” That made sense. Zack was her best friend and extremely protective over Ryssa. He’d practically tried to kill me after I left her. We continued chatting for a little while until a nurse came over and told us that Ryssa was awake and able to see visitors. Jimmy decided to go and get Zacky, and I stopped by the gift shop, picking up some flowers and a get well card before going to her room.

“Zack?” Ryssa said when the door opened, sounding a little hopeful.

“No, it’s me,” I said. Her face drooped when she saw me. She wasn’t happy to see me.

“Why are you here, Matt?” she asked. I offered her the flowers and card, but she didn’t acknowledge them. Instead, she stared straight at me. I sighed, setting the flowers on the table and sitting on the edge of her bed.

“You know when Zacky told us that you’d been in that accident, I almost died,” I said, reaching out and holding her hand. “And I realized that I made a mistake leaving you.” She laughed bitterly.
“So the gold digger found a bigger oil well huh?”

“I wish I never left you, Ryss.”

“You did,” she said flatly.

“I want you back.”

“And I told you that day that if you walked out that door I wouldn’t take you back. I haven’t changed my mind.”

“Ryss,” I begged. She cut me off.

“I loved you, Matt. And you strung me along. I’m not going to be your plaything.”

“Ryss, I love you.” She looked away and pulled her hand out of mine.

“I’m done with you.” The door opened up again.

“Ryssie?” Zacky asked as he walked into the room, holding something behind his back. “Hey, Matt,” he added, not really paying attention to me. He only had eyes for Maryssa.

“Zacky,” Ryssa greeted him with a smile.

“Got you something,” he said, holding out a teddy bear holding a heart that read “I love you.” Ryssa grinned even wider.

“Zacky, I love it,” she said, taking it in her arms and squeezing it.

“Thought you would,” he replied, leaning down and giving her a kiss. Her right arm wrapped around his neck, and then realization hit me.

“So you two are together,” I said when they broke apart. Zack grinned.

“Yeah,” he replied.

“He’s been in love with me since the day we met,” she said. “And to think I wasted eight months with you.” Now I knew why Zack always stared at her and why he’d been so upset about me leaving her and this accident, why he’d been so pissed when he found out I was dating Ryssa.

“I’m glad I finally got a chance,” he said, giving her another kiss.

“I guess I’ll just leave you guys,” I said, noting the way that Ryssa looked up adoringly and lovingly at Zacky. It was almost the same look she’d given me. As I walked to the door, I heard Zacky whisper something to Ryssa, making her giggle. God, how I loved her laugh. When we were together, I would do whatever I could to make her laugh.

“I love you,” I heard her say, and for a moment I thought she was talking to me.

“I love you, too,” Zacky replied. I shut the door.

“Dammit,” I groaned. The girl I was in love with had found someone else, and I was all alone. I was a fucking idiot. Is this how she felt when I left? I didn’t know the answer to that, but I did know that love was fucking hell.