Tortured Hearts

I knew that I had to calm my own thoughts down before I went to speak to Will, so I rung Mills up to talk to her about Charlie. “Hey, you’re not busy, are you? I need a quick chat with you.”
She moved to somewhere with less background noise and then replied, “Sure, I can talk.”
“It’s about Charlie, as per usual. I don’t know whether he told you that I went over there and helped him sort some things out?”
“No,” her voice trailed off a little and I realised this was probably hard for her to talk about. “He hasn’t been speaking to me, Alicia.”
“Well he’s finally been speaking to me. Don’t judge him on this, Mills, but he was taking some drugs. I made him go cold turkey and I’ll check up on him when I can but I need you to watch him and let me know if he’s doing ok.”
“Actually, he has been coming into lectures more often. But…”
“But what? Mills, even if it seems insignificant, it might be something bigger.” She sighed audibly in the phone.
“I think I know who’s been selling him the drugs. But that’s not all, I still see him pestering Charlie. I almost thought he was a lover the way Charlie kept trying to ignore him recently but I’ve seen him dealing to others before.”
“So you think this one guy is pestering Charlie to buy drugs?” I asked, realising this was a harder task than I first thought it would be.
“Possibly… but look, Alicia, I can’t help you much on this. You say you and Charlie have patched things up but we haven’t. I don’t know whether he would even want to talk to me again… I just wish I could understand why he’s being like this.”
I didn’t have an answer for her, but I could sympathise with the awful feeling she got whenever she thought about him. It was the same feeling I got whenever I thought about Will. “Even though we’ve broke up, I still think about him all the time. It’s like I’m obsessed with him, or the thought of him as he was before… oh, I don’t know!” She sounded close to tears. “Just… just help him, Alicia. He may not love me or care for me but I still love and care for him.”
“I’ll help him, Mills. And feeling the way you are is normal. Believe me, I have gone over so many different things in my head regarding Will that I almost don’t remember the bad parts of our relationship. But it will get better, I promise. You know how I know that?”
“How?” she asked, her voice thick with the tears she was holding back.
“Because you’ll fall in love again with someone else… just like I have.” I smiled at the end of my sentence, knowing that I wasn’t in love with Mark yet, but that I was getting there.
“You have? Who is he?”
“Mark,” I replied, “I can’t remember whether you met him but he’s one of the people on my floor.”
“I hope everything works out, then,” she replied, sounding more cheery with the hope of future happiness.
“I hope so too. Anyway, call me anytime, you know where I am. For now, I need to go sort some things out here. Speak to you soon.”
“Ok, yeah, speak to you soon.”
I put my phone into my bag and took a deep breath as I tried to figure out what I wanted to say to Will. I needed to make sure he understood where I was coming from and only then would I be happy to walk away and shut the door on that relationship.


Will’s P.O.V

I had just finished pulling my shirt on after showering in the locker room when I heard wolf-whistles coming from all around. I sighed as I anticipated Hanna coming to see me after practice. She was always doing this kind of thing, trying to get as much attention as possible. I rolled my eyes and picked up my bag to go meet her.
When I looked up, I stopped in shock as Alicia stood there with a look of sheer determination on her face. I must admit, she looked good. She was wearing a pair of jeans that hugged her shapely legs and her top made her curves apparent to all who looked… but she managed all that without looking slutty; more than Hanna could ever manage.
I realised that my mouth was hanging open slightly as she walked over to me, so I shut it. “What are you doing in here?” I asked, gathering my composure and remembering why I’d been angry with her earlier.
“Don’t say anything right now,” she replied, her eyes staring straight into mine as though she owned the whole freaking world. “I’m going to explain to you some things. I didn’t tell anyone about that other than Cora, who was asking about my twin. I asked her not to say anything to anyone and clearly she thought you didn’t count. I’m sorry she caused an argument and for you to get in a fight with Greg.” I was about to speak but she gave me a look that made me shut up instantly. “But, I won’t tolerate you treating me the way you did this morning. I was shocked, actually, that you went off on me like that. Will, what am I supposed to tell people when they ask about my twin?” then she lowered her voice to hiss, “Britt saved your life, you asshole, don’t take that good deed away from her.” She breathed out before continuing at a normal volume. “You’re not my responsibility anymore and neither is your secret. You gave up that respect when you cheated on me.” Then she turned and walked out of the room leaving me feeling like someone had run over me with a truck.
I sat down on the bench behind me as I contemplated the fact that she was over me. She had to be to look at me like that and treat me as though I was in her past now… and now I was stuck with Hanna.

Alicia’s P.O.V

My heart thrummed in my chest and my hands shook slightly as I slammed the door to the changing room behind me. I sighed to try to control my adrenaline rush. I felt good, despite the fact I’d just confronted my demons. I’d finally got some self-respect back. And now I could text Mark back and tell him that I would love to go meet him at the bus stop for another date.
I had put my new pair of jeans on especially for a day out with him and now that I was buzzing from telling Will he couldn’t walk all over me, I knew my mood would be perfect for an afternoon date.
When I arrived at the bus stop, I already saw Mark standing there waiting for me. I rushed over and grinned at him before silently turning in the direction to face the oncoming bus. When we got into our seats, I noticed he was carrying a bag but I left questioning him about it as I answered his questions.
“So I take it you spoke with Will?” he asked, smiling slightly as he guessed I must have given Will a piece of my mind.
“I think I just officially told him that I’m over him,” I replied with a grin that just wouldn’t keep off my face.
“So now he knows that, it’s safe to say you’re available.” It wasn’t a question, but an assertion and I laughed a little before looking pointedly at the bag.
“What’s in the bag, Mr. Mysterious?” I wiggled my eyebrows and was enjoying teasing him.
“Well if I told you, I wouldn’t be so mysterious, would I?” he replied, matching my grin with one of his own.
“Hmm, which means it has something to do with where we are going, then?” He didn’t reply to that and just watched me as I grinned at him. Eventually my contagious good mood made him crack and he chuckled, turning to check where we were on the bus route.
We got off in a greener area than the city and the University. Once again, Mark took my hand in his and I felt my heart swell in contentment. He really was the kind of guy I needed and wanted in my life.
After a short walk, we came to a little gate with an overgrown patch of nature just through it. Mark climbed the fence and hopped over it before helping me do the same. We walked a path that seemed neglected for a while, with weeds and nettles strewn before our feet.
“Is it much further?” I asked, wondering what surprise he could have in store for us this time.
“It’s just over this dirt mound ahead.” He smiled at me to reassure me and I couldn’t help but smile back, despite the fact that I was a little worried about not knowing where he was taking me.
Just as we reached the top of the dirt mound, I looked down and through some trees appeared a large pond. I gave Mark a quizzical look and he laughed before helping me to walk slowly down to the water’s edge.
“I don’t understand,” I stated with a short, nervous laugh.
“Just wait a moment or two,” he said, looking out and waiting for me to do the same.
I followed his eyes and watched as a brown duck swam from behind some of the plant matter that was growing in the pond. After the duck swam four little ducklings, following their mother as quickly as they could. I let out a small laugh, knowing that this was what we were here to look at. It was then that Mark finally revealed what was in his bag.
“You had bread in your bag?” I asked as he handed me some to feed the ducks with.
“Told you it was a mystery.”
“Hmm,” I murmured with a smile on my face, looking into his mischievous blue eyes as I did.
After we’d finished feeding the ducks the rest of the bread, Mark pulled out a small blanket and we both sat down, huddling together to keep on the small patch of fabric. I couldn’t say he hadn’t picked such a small thing on purpose, but neither could I say I wasn’t glad of the proximity. In fact, I was glad we were sitting that close because I enjoyed being close to him.
“I hope I didn’t disappoint you,” he said to me quietly after a while of us just sitting there in a comfortable silence.
I laughed a little and shook my head, “No. You puzzle me, but I believe it’s a good thing.”
“You sure?” he asked, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.
“Of course,” I replied. I leaned in and gave him a small, quick kiss, leaning back to watch his reaction. I could have sworn I saw a small hint of a blush before he leaned in and gave me a longer, much more intense kiss.
I let myself melt into it, my chest leaning into his as I lifted my hands to his shoulders and then up into his dark, soft hair.
I hoped he felt the same elation and tug as I did during the kiss. I knew right then that I truly was falling in love with him. It was a much more mature, much more equal love than I’d been in with Will. With Will, I was partly flattered that he wanted me… though when I looked back at that, it seemed ridiculous. With Mark I felt like we were in mutual adoration of each other, neither of us had anything to prove to anyone else.
We pulled away, both slightly breathless but smiling. Then Mark went a little shy on me, as though he wanted to say something but couldn’t quite get the words out.
My heart dropped as I thought he might tell me this wasn’t working out.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, my face clearly showing my worry as he chuckled a little at me before finally telling me what was on his mind.
“Don’t look like that, Alicia. I… I wanted to know whether you’d like to be my girlfriend? I know it’s a bit soon, but I just thought it felt right.” I stayed silent for a moment and he added, “You can say no.”
“No,” I said and then laughed. “I mean, yes. Yes, I’d love to be your girlfriend. I thought you were about to tell me something bad.” He grinned at me accepting.
“It might have been something bad if you didn’t feel the same way.”
“You were here a few minutes ago, weren’t you? When I was kissing you… or was that just me?”
“Alright, alright, stop teasing me,” he laughed and I grinned, unable to keep my happiness inside. “But if it’s all the same, a replay might jog my memory a little.” We both burst out laughing at that.



Cora’s door swung open within moments of me knocking on it. She had a guilty expression as she let me in and I knew I’d get a stream of her speaking before I could tell her what I wanted to.
As soon as the door closed, she didn’t let me down. “Alicia, I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to have a go at Will so publicly… or, well, at all. And I know I promised you that I wouldn’t tell anyone about his secret but I didn’t think he counted. I was so drunk and my mind just went kaput when I saw him dancing and flirting with that utter slut-face! What was I supposed to do, just keep my mouth shut?”
“Cora, please, let me speak,” I pleaded. “I know you meant well. I know Will deserved that and a hell of a lot more. But , next time you want to go and give him and his, um, slut-face hell, do it inconspicuously.”
“You’re not mad?”
“No, the opposite really.” I grinned at her and she squealed with happiness before wrapping me in a hug.
“Yay! So I’m allowed to take retribution, just if I do it subtly?” I nodded. “Is chopping her hair off when I sit behind her on the bleachers subtle?”
“No!” I yelled whilst laughing, knowing full-well that Cora would chop Hanna’s hair off if I let her.
“Now onto some more important business. Who is the new man you have in your life?” She asked with a twinkle in her eyes.
“Well, that’s the other thing I came to see you about. Not only do I have a promise to uphold, but I also need to tell you that I have a new boyfriend.”
“Stop teasing me and tell me!” she practically yelled at me, whilst her smile told me she was almost as happy as I was about it.
I didn’t know how she’d react to finding out it was Mark, somebody she already knew, but I knew I had to tell her anyway. “It’s Mark.”
“Mark? How have you managed to keep that so quiet?” she replied, hitting me lightly.
“Like I said, we’ve been going out casually and… well, eventually it turned into something more.” I shrugged but still had the smile on my face.
“Well I’m pleased for you, he seems like a really nice guy.”
“He is,” I replied. “I think this time I’ve chosen someone who’s going to look after me as well as himself.”
“Very true,” she noted. “Have you told him about your twin?”
“Not yet. I figured I’d tell him when the time is right. I mean, he’ll have to know before he meets my parents… if we get that far.”
“You know he’s a keeper?” Cora replied and I nodded.
“Just don’t want to tempt fate, is all.”
“Fate’s a bitch… we are talking about Hanna, right?”
I laughed. “No, but I’m pretty sure on that front. Embarrassing as it is to admit, I even asked Mark whether he thought Hanna was pretty. The way he spoke about her made me think she was some troll-beast and not some busty, beautiful blonde.”
“But she is a troll-beast,” Cora stated. “No amount of cheap, pink lip-gloss can cover over that personality.”
“Anyway, I spoke to Will and made it clear he was to stay away from me from now on. I don’t think I can stand any more of his drama.” Though I said it, the words felt almost hollow. It was like I hated him for not loving me rather than for cheating on me. Whatever, I told myself, I had Mark now and that was all that mattered.