She's Been Running Through My Dreams

I sat on my floor with Janie. She was playing with her drum set that Lisa bought her. She was spoiled. I had my iPod in and Sleepless by Underscore. Yeah, Matt's old band. I was at every practice, every...everything. I bit my lip ring. Jordan was coming over but I really didn't care. I don't even understand why me and him are "going out". It's a joke. I'm still single and still begging the world for me to get the guts to find Matt. My phone vibrated and Lisa texted me.

Matt loves you still. He does?

He does? Lisa, you don't understand how much I miss him.. I need him back in my life. Janie came crawling over to me and pulled my ear buds out.

"Janiee," I whined, "Mommy was listening to her music." Janie was raised on music, from when she was still in my body. Music, every second of the day.

"I sorry Mommy." She bit her lip and hugged me.

"It's ok baby girl." I said kissing her hair. She was a perfect combination of Matt and I. It was incredible. She had our gray eyes, his black hair, his nose, my lips. Janie was just... adorable.

"Where's my daddy?" She asked, this question always makes me breakdown when she takes a nap. I pointed to her heart. And she would ask the same question, "He dead?" And I would shake my head, but today... today was different.

"Why isn't he here?" A tear rolled down her cheek and I broke down.

"Mommy, don't cry, mommy." She said hugging me.

"Your dad- the love of my life- is somewhere but he's in our hearts. He'll always be there." I confessed. She nodded and found interest in her drum set again. My crying was muffled by her druming. Please find me, I mentally begged.

My phone vibrated.

i'm coming to get you when we get to baltimore for the home show. tonight. be ready in an hour