Kaleidoscope Eyes

April 6th, 2007.

Brendon had been acting very awkward ever since the other night. He didn't really talk to me, unless he was asking if I wanted food.

I was fooling with one of Ryan's guitars while Ryan sat on the couch that was next to the chair I was in. I sighed, setting the guitar down in it's stand and glanced over at Ryan. "Why the fuck is Brendon acting weird?"

"Are you sure he's not just being himself? I mean, Brendon is always weird," Ryan pointed out, a little smirk on his lips. "Brendon being weird is...normal."

"Oh, ha, ha, very funny," I replied, rolling my eyes. "I mean, he's been ignoring me and it's not like him to ignore me."

"Oh, that. Well...you seriously don't remember anything that happened that night?" He asked, shifting a bit uncomfortably in his seat. Something told me something happened that night, and Ryan knew.

"Not a fucking clue. I blacked out, I was so drunk," I said, trying to remember anything before my fifth drink. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Wait, something was fuzzy. I was...pressed against someone. It was so fucking fuzzy. "What happened? Please, fucking tell me."

He sighed and glanced around the room, looking to see if anyone else was near. Which was stupid because we were alone. No one else was home. "Alright, so...Brendon didn't want me to tell you this, but whatever, right? You deserve to know."

I nodded, wanting him to tell me more. I was in the dark about my own life. Wow.

"Okay, so, I got you your like...sixth drink? Yeah, sixth. Then, you drank that like fucking water, right? So, you grabbed Brendon's hand after that and led him down to the floor and you two began dancing and...you kissed him, and - "

"I kissed Brendon!?" I practically screamed. Woah, woah, woah, woah. My eyes were wide and my jaw was hanging halfway open. Ryan leaned over and hooked his finger under my chin, closing my jaw. I swatted his hand away. "That's why he's acting so weird..."

"Oh, that's not why," He laughed a bit, shaking his head. There was more. Of course there was more. "So, you ended up coming home and...uh, well...Rae. Rae, Rae, Rae...you slept with him..."

My jaw dropped open again, and my eyes went wider than they were. I didn't know they could go that wide. I stared at Ryan in shock/horror. Mainly horror.

I fucking slept with Brendon. That's why Brendon was acting so weird. Holy fuck.

"Close your mouth," Ryan mumbled, closing it for me once again. I just sat there. I slept with fucking Brendon.

Brendon. The fucking kid that I met a little over two years ago. We'd hit it off quickly. He was only a year older than me. He was cute and funny; always put a smile on my face when we talked and hung out. Fuck, he put a smile on anyone's face. The kid just radiated sunshine and fucking happiness.

The kid that was in the first band Pete signed to his label.

And I slept with him.

"Where - fuck, dude...where the fuck is Brendon?" I breathed out, finally getting my brain to formulate a proper thought.

How the fuck could I sleep with him!?

"Uh, I don't k - "

As if by fate, the front door swung open, and in walked Brendon. Well. He glanced at me, then at Ryan, then at me again. His eyes quickly darted away from mine, and looked anywhere else, "I, uh...I'm gonna go...go, yeah." And with that, he ran off upstairs.

Fuck, I needed to confront him. I hated confrontation, though. I turned to Ryan, who was looking over at me, eyebrows raised, expecting me to do something. Ugh, fuck him.

"Go, Rae," He said, motioning towards the stairs. Yup, fuck him.

I groaned and sank further down into the chair, shaking my head, "No, Ryan."

"Go, Rae," He said again.

"No, Ryan."

He sighed, getting up off the couch. He walked over to the chair and grabbed my arms, pulling me up. I struggled and pulled back, trying to get him to release his damn grip. I wasn't gonna go up there and talk to him. Fucking Ryan making me do things I didn't wanna do.

"No, stop it," He groaned, letting me go. He glared at me, then scooped me up bridal style. That motherfucker. He carried me all the way upstairs, then dumped me in front of Brendon's door, knocking for me. He then took off, running back downstairs.

I stood up, ready to chase after him, when Brendon's door opened. He looked shocked, "Oh, uh...hey."

"Hey," I choked out, the awkward air between us way too thick. It was suffocating, really. "I need to talk to you about the other night..."

"Yeah...about that - "

"Let me in," I sighed, pushing the door open. I strolled into his room, looking around. Nope, this wasn't gonna do. "Anywhere we can talk...privately?"

"Uh. The roof is where I go when I wanna be left alone," He said softly, shutting his door and locking it. He walked over to the window and opened it before crawling out on to the roof. He held his hand out for me to take. I took it and climbed out there with him.

We both sat with our knees tucked to our chests and arms wrapped around them, holding them so close.

"So, how'd you find out?" He asked, not even looking at me. He was just watching the sky. It was nice out here.

"Ryan told me," I answered truthfully. I wasn't gonna lie like I usually would've. "How come you didn't?"

"I dunno. Because it's awkward as fuck?" He suggested, laughing just a teeny, tiny bit. "Seriously, Rae. I remembered it, and you didn't. It was fucking awkward just asking if you remembered it."

"Oh. Well. Whatever...you still could've told me. You've been completely ignoring me, which was so damn confusing," I muttered, staring at the sky, watching as a vulture circled overhead.

"I know. Sorry."

"It's whatever."

Silence. Silence, silence, silence. It wasn't that awkward. It still had an awkward undertone, 'cause, fuck, we're talking about how we slept together. But, still, I was sorta comfortable, just staring up at the sky with him.

"So...I know you don't remember it, but it was a lot of fun," He laughed, shattering the silence. Of course he'd shatter the silence with that.

"Shut up," I rolled my eyes and tried to hide the grin that was growing on my face. I shoved him lightly. "You are such a...a dork."

"Pssh, a dork couldn't land a cute girl like you."

"What if I like dorks? An adorable dork could capture my heart," I giggled, looking over at him.

He was looking over at me, a soft smile on his face. His cute brown eyes made my heart melt. "Well, then."

My smile was still on my face as I looked back out over the neighborhood. The sun was setting. Streetlights were coming on, lighting up the soon-to-be dark streets. It was kinda pretty, in a way.

Vegas lights were shining and lighting up the sky in the distance. It was nice being away from a city. LA was quickly becoming too much for me. I needed out. I needed to get back into a smaller feel. Something that wasn't too busy and shit.

"So..."

"So," I repeated, not looking over at him.

"Wanna go for a walk?" He asked, sorta taking me by surprise. I was kinda happy up here on this roof.

I shrugged, "Dunno. Where we walking to?"

"Do we have to know where we're going?" He countered, getting up and walking over to his window. He held out his hand for me to take. Once again with the hand thing. I wasn't gonna fall.

As I got up, my heel slipped and I ended up falling. Thankfully Brendon caught me. Looks like I was wrong. I almost fell off the roof. Damn.

"Oh, my God," I breathed out, pressed close to his chest. I held on to him tightly, my eyes wide and my breathing shallow. I almost fell off the roof.

"You really need to stop wearing heels," He joked, causing me to smile a bit.

I looked up at him, noticing he was staring down at me, a little grin on his face. "What?" I asked, my little smile still there.

"Nothing..." He muttered.

My eyes flicked from his eyes to his lips, then back up to his eyes. And before we both knew it, our lips met. My eyes slowly closed as I melted into the kiss.

He pulled away slowly, eyes darting to meet mine. His cheeks flushed red, and so did mine. What were we doing? Whatever it was, it felt right...

"Um, Rae...do you...do you wanna go on that walk now...or?" He stuttered out. He felt awkward. Goddammit, Brendon. He needed to not feel awkward.

"Uh, yeah. Do you have your board? We can go, um, skate or something?" I asked, being as awkward as he was. We were both awkward.

"I do, actually. Did you bring yours? If not, I've got one for you," He smiled, leading me back into his room.

"I did not. Left it for Hemmy."

He just nodded and ran down the stairs. I followed closely, still holding on to his hand.

"Hi, Ryan, we're going to skate. Okay, bye," Brendon said quickly as we ran through the living room to the kitchen, then out the door to the garage.

Brendon let go of my hand and grabbed his board, handing it to me. He then proceeded to dig through a bunch of junk to find another board.

"You're really gonna skate in heels? Props to you," He noted, opening the garage door. He instantly got on the board and went down the street.

He was right, though. Was I really gonna skate in heels? No. No, I wasn't. I took off my heels and threw them in the grass, then hopped on the board, heading down the street after Bren.

"Bren!" I shouted and he came to a stop. "Teach me a trick."

"You don't know any tricks?"

I shook my head, "All I know is how to do an ollie."

"Okay...um, kickflip?" He suggested, shrugging. I don't think he was looking forward to teaching me something. Oh, well.

"Okay...so..." And that's when I tuned him out. I didn't listen to a word he said. All I did was watch him as he demonstrated what to do. I wanted to kiss him again. But he was being all weird and Brendon-y and not letting me get close enough to kiss him. Damn, Brendon. "You gonna try?"

"Huh? Uh, yeah, uh...hold up," I muttered, trying to redo what he did. Didn't fucking work. I lost my balance and the board slipped out from under me and, once again, Brendon caught me.

"Well, you suck," He laughed, holding me loosely in his arms.

"Shut up," I laughed, sticking my tongue out at him. "Hey, Bren?"

"What?"

I stood up properly and wrapped my arms around his neck, grinning, "You're a horrible teacher."

His hands slid down to rest on my hips. A small smirk appeared on his face, "Oh, am I? Maybe you're just a horrible student."

"Pssh, I'm fucking fantastic," I giggled, rolling my eyes.

"I know," He whispered before leaning in to place a small, sweet kiss on my lips. And that's exactly what I wanted. He kissed me. And I kissed back.

"So, what does this make us, Brendon?" I asked, breaking the kiss. I stared at him. The way the streetlights hit his face made him look twenty times cuter than he actually was. They made him look all innocent and whatnot in their dim glow.

I kept trying to read his expression. It was blank. He was...unreadable. Fuck, he was nothing like Pete.

"Well, I'd say this makes us a cute little couple that everyone 'awwww's at and wishes they had a relationship as fucking flawless as ours when they see us laughing and shit when we're out in public," He grinned, kissing me again.

I giggled against his lips, "Perfect. Wanna go make people jealous right now?"

"Why the fuck not?" He said, grabbing my hand and his board. I grabbed my, well, his board and walked with him back to the house.

First week here and you've already got a boyfriend. Well done, Rae. Well fucking done. New record? New fucking record.