Compulsive

///Aidan///

I woke up the next morning laying with Lacey. I can honestly say that I've never had anything better to wake up to. She was peaceful, her eyes closed, her face slack, and her fingers still. Her usually thrumming left hand was holding mine just in front of her stomach. It was still raw, with little dark red scabs like freckles dotting it.
I slowly extricated myself from her, trying my best not to wake her up. She shifted as my weight left the bed. I paused, holding my breath, until she rolled over and fell back asleep. I pulled my shirt over my head quickly, and slid my shiny tuxedo shoes on before scrawling a quick note on the hotel's pad of paper, and quietly walking out the door.
Lacey,
Hopefully I'll be back before you wake up, but I've gone to get us some breakfast. Go back to sleep, I'll be back in a little while, beautiful.
--Aidan

///Lacey///

Awoken by something soft shifting up to cover my shoulders, I opened my eyes and looked around in confusion for a minute. The walls were that kind of wallpaper that was cheap, the floor was a greasy carpet, and the sheets felt scratchy. The hotel, of course, I thought. How could I forget, even for a second? Aidan had pulled the covers up to my shoulders, and was still hovering over me.

"Goodmorning," I said cheerily, getting up slowly and stretching.

"Goodmorning," He smiled and kissed my forehead. "I got breafast for us. I didn't know what you want... So there's poptarts, muffins, bananas, and pizza."

"Pizza is not breakfast food," I protested.

"Yes it is! Have you ever had cold pizza for breakfast?" He demanded playfully. I shook my head, my messy hair flying. "Well then, today is your lucky day." I laughed lightly and walked to the bathroom to wash my face and hands. On the counter were two bottles, a white one and a blue one. I curiously picked the blue one up to read the label; Moisturizing Hand Soap. Tears pricked in my eyes, the bridge of my nose stinging. The other bottle was heavy-duty lotion.
I began to wash my hands with the new soap Aidan had bought for me. They bled just a little because of the old scabs. With tears threatening to spill from my eyes, I walked back into the main room and wrapped my arms around Aidan.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"I know you can't help it, so I thought it would help the bleeding..." He trailed off, turning red.

"Thank you," I said again.

"Sooo... Heres' your pizza." He grinned and shoved the slice in my mouth. I took a bite and smiled. "I told you!" He exclaimed as a mischeivious look crossed his face.

"What? What are you going to--" I yelled as he tackled me softly onto the bed, my slice of pizza soaring behind me and landing on the pillow above my head. "Aidan!" I burst out laughing, "You killed my pizza!"

"Oh, come on," he said, rolling off me, "You can still eat it!" I shook my head, kissed him, and stood up. "Oh," he said, his eyes tracing my body. "I brought some of my clothes for you when I got breakfast. They're on the desk over there." He said. I walked over and slipped the Escape the Fate T-shirt over my head, and slid his loose jeans over my hips.
He laughed as they slid back down to my ankles.

"Here," He said, standing and sliding his own belt from his pants before walking over to me. He leant down, pulled his jeans up around my hips, and slid the belt through the loops, pulling me closer as he buckled them in my front. They stayed up this time, but barely.

"Well, hi." I said, laughing at our close proximity.

"Hi. You know what?" I shook my head at his question. "You're coming out of your shell. And I like you even better out of your shell." I smiled and wrapped my hands around his neck, standing on my tiptoes to reach his lips with mine. Aidan bent his neck down to close the distance. His lips massaged mine gently before he pulled away.

"I like you too. But I don't think you have a shell of any sort." I said, laughing.

///Aidan///

I took Lacey home around eleven, thinking about the night before, at prom and afterward. I wanted to open up her worlds. I wanted to save her from her obsessions and her compulsions. I wanted her to not be scared of germs, or movies, or what would happen if she stopped counting and pulling her hair.
I knew a little about OCD, and I knew that it wasn't really curable. There were phases of worry, where sometimes it gets worse, and sometimes it gets better, but it never goes away. I kept thinking back to what she'd said: she had control one minute, and then none.

///

Lacey came over the next day in the sweatshirt I'd given her on our first date. We hung out in the basement, her laying on the couch with me as music played in the background.

"What's wrong?" She asked as soon as she saw me.

"Nothing, why?"

"I've never seen you make that face before." I shrugged and kissed her. She thrummed her fingers on my chest.

"Why do you do that?" I could feel myself losing control. The grip I had on life and reality was slowly slipping away... Stop it Aidan! Control it... but he was taking over... the other me was taking over.

"I told you, I can't help it..."

///Lacey///

"I told you, I can't help it..." I said, hurt. He sounded annoyed at me, and he looked angry.

"No, you do it when you're nervous. Why are you nervous? What did you do?" He asked accusingly. I sat up stiffly, surprised and hurt.

"What are you talking about, Aidan?" I asked quietly, pulling out a hair.

"You did something, didn't you?" It wasn't even a question, like he was sure I'd done something to him. "Did you poison me?"

"Aidan!" I said sharply, shocked. "What's gotten into you?!"

"There's another boy, isn't there?" His hands shoved themselves into my back pockets, groping around. I surged up until I was standing, slapping his hands away and pulling out more hairs.

"Stop it, Aidan! This isn't funny." He stood, too, and put his face in mine.

"What did you do??!" He shouted in my face. I jumped back and fell on the rug.

"Aidan," Tears began to spill over as more and more hairs were being pulled out. "You're scaring me."

"I'm scaring you?" He yelled. "You're the one trying to hurt me!" I was full out sobbing now, crawling away from him, toward the stairs.

"Aidan, I'm going home. I'd never try to hurt you, never." My hand hit the stairs, and I scrambled up them as fast as I could. He followed me, slower, as if drunk. I burst through the door and ran into his mother. She looked shocked as she saw the tears flowing down my cheeks, and Aidan chasing me up the stairs. I ran to the front door and out it, unzipping his hoodie and throwing it on a thorn bush.
I ran home as fast as I could, trying to get away from him. After everything yesterday and the day before, how could he do this? I tripped, fell and hit my lip on the sidewalk. I didn't care. I lurched up and continued running, until blood was spattered on the sidewalk from my mouth.