Warmness On The Soul.

I blinked a few times, watching I awe as she turned the screen towards us. There, plain as night and day, were four little feet. I didn’t even know what I was feeling as a few tears streamed from my eyes. There were two babies in me, two little Matt and I’s mixed together.

I glanced over to him, worried to see his reaction. I felt my lips curve upwards when I saw the look of excitement on his face; he was practically jumping up and down in his seat. It was reassuring to see him look so happy, and I knew Matt was honestly excited to be a Father.

“Twins.”

“Mhm, those are your two babies.” Mr. Cali smiled at me.

I stared at the screen as she pressed a button, and then swiveled the wand around again. After a few moments of just blob looking things she finally came to another image. I could clearly see two heads, but only hand and arm. I guess the babies must’ve been lying side by side with each other. She pressed the same button from before again.

“Do you guys want to find out the sex?” She asked with a smile.

Matt and I looked at each other before nodding happily, matching grins on our faces. “Yes please.”

She nodded before turning her attention to the screen. The wand moved around, changing from our babies heads to unidentifiable blobs yet again. I knew she could tell what it was, and I had no idea how anyone would learn that in school. It all looked the same to me, but knowing it was part of our babies made me beyond excited.

Two babies.

“Well congrats; it looks like you are going to have a little boy and girl in a few months!” She gushed turning to me. “Have you felt them move around yet?”

I shook my head sadly, once again fearing that I had done something wrong. “No, not at all. We’ve been talking to them through my stomach, playing music, and I haven’t felt a single thing. Could I have done something wrong?”

“Some babies kick early, and some kick late. If there was something wrong I’d be able to tell right now. But they look perfectly fine and in good size for how far along you are. Now have you given any thought about what kind of birth you’d like? I know you mentioned a natural birth before.” She finished as she moved the wand around more. Pressing the button now and then.

“Natural birth?” Matt sounded both confused and scared.

“It means I’d have the babies at home without any doctors. But I’d have a midwife, who’s a nurse so she can make sure the babies are healthy. I can do it many different ways; I could even have the babies in like a bath tub.” I explained watching his expression changed. “It’s cheaper, but then there won’t be any pain meds.”

“Baby, that sounds risky.”

“I don’t want my babies hopped up on the drugs I take though. I want to remember having them, I don’t want a hazy memory Matt. I told Dr. Cali I wasn’t sure which I wanted to go through with, but we have time to decide.” I replied biting my bottom lip. “Can you just keep an open mind?”

He sighed, nodding his head slowly. “If it’s truly what you want we can at least look into it.”

“Alright, if you two are at least looking into a natural birth you can interview several different midwifes. Each of them usually believes in different ways to help the labor. You can get a feel for each of them and eventually pick one. However if you decide you want a hospital birth I’ll be there for you and we can look at the different hospitals in town.” Dr. Cali smiled at us. “It’s entirely up to you two, the babies look amazing and healthy and there shouldn’t be any problems. Now let’s get you all cleaned up.”

*

Matt and I made another appointment for a few weeks from now, promising to let Dr. Cali know if we decided any time soon. She had taken a few snapshots of the babies, and I knew everyone was going to flip when they saw them. I couldn’t help but rub my stomach, wondering why they would both decide to start kicking. I knew once it started however, that I was going to wish it hadn’t.

My mood had also gone down south once we started walking to the beach. Matt was on the phone trying to tell Jimmy where we were parked. While I was busy realizing that I was pregnant with twins, and I was going to get even bigger than I had thought. Every skinny girl in a bikini that walked by me only made me feel worse. I suddenly felt like everyone was looking at me, whispering reasons why Matt could possibly be with me.

I stopped walking, gaining Matt’s attention right away. He mumbled something to Jimmy before pressing the end button, wrapping his arms around me.

“Babe, is something wrong? Are you hungry?” He asked squeezing me gently.

“I want to go home.” I stated calmly, trying to ignore the tears burning my eyes.

Matt pulled away slightly, looking down at me with a ghost of a frown. “You want to go home? But why, are you not feeling good?” He rushed out.

“I just want to go home Matt.” I spat out, cringing at how harsh my words sounded. Matt didn’t move at all, which only added to my growing anger. “Fine, I’ll just fucking walk home.” I yanked myself away from him, storming past him and towards the direction my apartment building was. I hadn’t been there for days, and I knew it probably had to smell from old food.

“Kara stop walking away.” I heard Matt groan from behind me. “You’re being ridiculous right now!”

I spun around, narrowing my eyes at him dangerously. “I’m being ridiculous? All I asked was if we could go home and you burn me with the third degree, or assume that I need food?” I growled, watching him look both shocked and worried. “You’re the one being ridiculous Matthew; now leave me the hell alone!”

I spun back around and continued my walk. I didn’t care if Matt thought I was being ridiculous, I was tired, felt huge and wanted to go home. He could think I was being stupid for the rest of my life, but I didn’t care at the moment.

I let out a frustrated groan when I felt an all too familiar pair of arms wrap around me suddenly. The finger tips rubbed my stomach gently, his face burying into the crook of my neck. I sighed quietly, feeling my anger slowly ebbing away into sadness. Matt pressed a kiss to the nape of my neck, successfully making my eyes water.

“Kara, what’s wrong… and don’t tell me nothing or that I’m giving you the third degree.” Matt asked quietly.

I wiped at my eyes, not wanting him to see me crying. I felt so ridiculous suddenly, crying in public like a pregnant idiot.

“Kara… don’t cry…” Matt turned me around, hugging me to him as he rub my back gently. “Babygirl tell me what’s wrong right now, are you scared about the babies?” He asked making a few cooing noises.

I shook my head against his chest, the steady thudding of his heart helping soothe me. “No.”

“Than what is it?”

“You’ll laugh at me.” I whimpered through my tears, I refused to tell him.

“I would never laugh at something that would make you so upset to cry in public Kara.” He stated calmly. “Can you at least look up at me so I can wipe away your tears?”

I shook my head.

“Why not?”

“I look stupid.” I answered.

Matt sighed, and despite what I wanted he gripped my jaw gently, pulling my face upwards. He looked completely upset at the moment, like me walking away had hurt him. I felt a pang of guilt, which only caused the tears in my eyes to pour out faster. I hadn’t wanted to hurt him ever; I never wanted him to be upset because of me.

“Don’t cry, I hate to see you cry or be upset. “He wiped the tears away with his thumb. “Now tell me what’s wrong Kara; and no saying no this time.” He added.

I looked down at the pavement, not sure how to tell him what had caused me to get so upset. I saw him lace our fingers back together, his thumb rubbing my palm gently. After a few silent moments I finally looked back up to him, his eyes still trained on me.

“I got fatter.”

He blinked a few times, looking a little unsure at the moment. I could tell me wasn’t sure if I was joking or not, but eventually he spoke. “You… what?”

I sighed, letting out a frustrated moan. “All these girls out here are checking you out Matt… and when they see me they laugh and start whispering about us… I’m not anywhere near their size, I’m huge, I’m a whale, I’m a cow… and I’m only going to get bigger until I can squish you just by sitting on your leg.” I rushed out, not wanting to see the look in his eyes as I said this.

“Kara-”

“I’m not done yet.” I interrupted. “I’m so stupid; I mean I’m wearing a bikini under here. What the hell was I thinking? And with twins, I’ll just get bigger than the normal pregnant girl. I’ll still keep a bit of weight on after the babies are born. I’m going to be repulsive to you…”

In one swift motion Matt had lifted my head up and pressed his lips against mine gently. The simple action caused my toes to tingle and my fingers go numb. He pressed a few more gentle kisses to my lips, each one making the bad thoughts disappear from my head.

“Kara Moore, I love you, I love your tummy, I love your swollen feet, I love your mood swings, your cravings, how you steal my food from me now. “He teased gently. “And I’ll love you once we have the babies, I’ll love you even if you ever weighed a thousand pounds. You’d still be this gorgeous sexy girl that I have right in front of me. And I’d still want to go at it with you all the time.” The last statement made my cheeks catch on fire. “You are never going to be repulsive to me, you will always, and I mean always be the most gorgeous perfect girl on the planet.” He leaned down to kiss me again, causing me to press my lips back into his.

“Hey, fuckers this is a public beach stop making out!”

Matt groaned against my lips, causing me to giggle quietly. “Thanks for ruining a romantic moment Johnny.”

“Anytime.” I heard the familiar voice chuckle. “How’d the appointment go?”

I turned around to give Johnny a hug hello, noting the rest of the guys, and girls following after him. I remembered that Matt said I’d get to meet the rest of the girls today; so I was rather excited.

“It went pretty good, but you guys aren’t going to believe the news.”

“What news?” Brian asked.

“You’ll all found out as soon as we go get a spot and settle down.” I smiled, holding Matt’s hand yet again. “So if you guys want to find out the sex of the baby, and see a picture I suggest we get going.”

All of the guys’ eyes widened, and in a split second they all took off for the sand. Val chuckled as she got closer, shaking her head and their actions.

“You look lovely.” She smiled before hugging me. “Kara meet Michelle, who is Brian’s girlfriend and Lacey who is Johnny’s girlfriend.” She smiled introducing me to the two.

Both of them shocked me by hugging me, wide smiles on their faces. Gena gave me a hug afterwards, laughing when Matt let go of my hand suddenly. It took me a few seconds to realize he was jogging over to the guys, who were attempting to bury Johnny in the sand.

“At least you can think of this as training for when the little one is born.” Gena giggled nudging my arm gently. “Aren’t you wearing a bathing suit?” She asked.

I nodded, “yes… but I don’t want to take off my dress.” I murmured.

“What? Why not?” Val frowned as we started to make our way to the guys.

“Well before Johnny interrupted… I was trying to walk back my apartment. Since before we got to the doctor’s office girls kept checking him out… and I realized that I wasn’t their size and that I was going to keep getting bigger.” I explained, my cheeks heating up from embarrassment again.

“Oooh..”

“Don’t worry about other girls,” Michelle smiled, “you look amazing, especially for being pregnant. If you catch one of them looking just make out with Matt in front of them.”

I smirked at the idea, “I didn’t think about that.”

My eyes narrowed as Jimmy came skipping towards us. Before I blinked he had lifted me into his arms and was carrying me over to the towels. He set me down next to Matt before plopping down into the sand.

“We did as you said; now tell us the news about the baby!” Brian demanded, slamming his hand into the sand.

“Yeah!”

I giggled, resting my head on Matt’s shoulder. “Ready?”

He nodded, “of course.”

“TELL US!”

I giggled, “Well, we are going to have a little girl….” Everyone’s faces lit up, “But-”

“But what?!”

“But we’re also going to have a little boy.” I beamed, watching as everyone’s jaws dropped in shock. A few seconds later Val let out a high pitched squeal before attacking me, squeezing me to the point that it was bone crushing.

Everyone took her lead, hugging Matt and I and saying how excited they were. As soon as I took the pictures out of Matt’s wallet they snatched them up, trying to make sense of what was which baby, and which was the girl or boy.

Laughing I rested my head on Matt’s shoulder again, looking up at him with a wide smile. “I love you Matthew Sanders.”

He beamed. “I love you too Kara Moore.”

**Matt**

The rest of the day at the beach went by amazingly. Kara didn’t worry about being in a bikini, and I loved the sight of seeing her in it, with the tummy. We spent most of the time in the water, discussing if the babies could hear the waves, or somehow hear any sea animals.

We all grabbed dinner at a burger joint, before saying goodbye and leaving. Tomorrow it’d be back to working hard; and I wasn’t the slightest bit excited. Especially because I felt so guilty about having to lie to Kara now.

While all of the girls went to the bathroom at the joint, the guys and I decided to go ahead and rob the store. It was quicker, and we were running out of time. We had to come up with a lie for Kara, but I knew she’d trust me and wouldn’t question it. I wanted to be able to give my kids all the things they deserved.

When we got home I carried Kara to bed, despite her tired protests. I chuckled when she fell asleep half way up the stairs, still mumbling about sea turtles and the babies. I laid her down in bed before quietly making my way downstairs, I was expecting a package in the kitchen; and I needed to get it before Kara saw it.

Just as I hoped there were two separate packages on the table. I took the small square one, I opened it, taking out the small item and placing it in my back pocket. I had to keep this on me so Kara wouldn’t find it, it was far too important to lose.

I tossed the packaging into the trash before grabbing the second package. It was just paperwork, but it had everything I needed to know on it. I ripped off the top of the packaging, scanning over the words on the files. My eyebrows knitted into a frown, this couldn’t have been right. There must’ve been a mistake.

What would Jenny want with Kara?