Blue Sunflowers

I’m not the type to freak out over things. I don’t overreact, I hardy even react. I don’t hold grudges, I don’t get upset, I don’t trash my room when I’m angry and cut myself.

Hell, I don’t get angry.

Ad I’ve always hated it. I can’t hate people, no matter how much I want to, I can’t hate anyone. I really wanted to hate Frank right now, but I couldn’t. It was physically impossible.

These last weeks, I was acting a little out of place. I don’t normally yell at people, I laugh at them or give ‘em the finger. I walk away. I don’t think much of anything; I’ve always thought that life was way too short to spend fighting and hating. I don’t ever talk about my feelings either, Cookie was always the exception. My sister to always say I’d be the one in the back of the class, bottling everything up till I cracked and went gun – happy at school.

So, in short, I decided I wouldn’t be mad at Frank. This would blow over, it always did. We’d be friends till we died, even if we never fell in love and lived happily ever after. I would be happy just being friends with Frank.

I stood on his doorstep deciding whether knocking had been a good idea, but was interrupted by the door being opened. “Frank.” I smiled, but it soon faded when I saw him. He had bags under his bloodshot eyes, and wasn’t smiling back. “What’s wrong, Frankie?” I asked, genuinely concerned. He sighed and opened the door a little further, inviting me in.

He pulled me into a hug that I hesitantly returned. Oh my god, I missed him so much. I missed

his touch, his smell. He buried his face in my hair “I've missed you.” I sighed and opened my mouth to speak, but he cut me off before I could.

“I know, it doesn’t matter, but I’m sorry anyway.” He pulled away and looked me in the eye. “And I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you, you were right.” I was still confused. “She was cheating on me. I went to Starbucks and found them … yeah behind the counter.” He grimaced at the memory. “And I know I shouldn’t have gone out with her in the first place, you were right, she was just a piece of ass.”

I was in shock. “Oh my god, Frank, I’m so sorry.”

He smiled “Don’t be, she was just a stupid – ass bitch. I shouldn’t have left my number one girl for her.” He put his arm around my shoulder.

I grinned “So we’re good?”

“We’re golden.”

We spent the rest of the day catching up and apologizing. I really did miss him. “Do you want to know a secret?” he sang. “Do you promise not tell, whoa, oh?” I sang.

“No, seriously.” He said laughing.

“Shoot”

“Marco got pissed everytime I would wear something of yours.” He blushed, embarrassed.

“Aw, don’t be embarrassed, I got detention because I wore your Aviators to school as I left my car blasting your Misfits tape.”

“You got detention?” his expression was priceless.

“Don’t look at me like that, I get detention al the time.”

'“Yeah, for stupid things.”

“Actually, I got those two the same day I got detention for yelling “Fuck you!” at Marco.”

“Oh yeah, I remember that. I had to try so hard not to laugh. But why two detentions?”

I sighed “I was bored and pissed off at you and decided to have fun. Like I said, I wore your Aviators, I kept my lip ring, I wore my boots, I was playing “inappropriate music”, and then I giggled when he gave me the first detention.”

He grinned “You don’t half – bake things, do you?”

“Eh, if you’re gonna do something, might as well, go all the way.” He chuckled. I loved his laugh, it was so pot-headish, so was my mine, but that besides the point.

“Frankie?” He smiled.

“How I missed hearing that.”

I laughed but continued “Did you and Marco see me.. when… you guys…. You know?” I sorta asked.

His smile fell flat “Yeah. We did. I’m sorry you had to see that.” I tried to lighten the mood

“Yeah, you should be, that image’ll be engraved in my mind for the rest of my life.”

He cleared his throat and looked around “Um you wanna watch a movie?” he scratched the back of his head. “Sure, your pick.” He smiled. “You already know my pick.”

We fell asleep in his bed watching “The Nightmare Before Christmas” for what must’ve been at least the hundredth time. He had his arms wrapped around me and my head was on his chest.

I was happy, even if I didn’t know how long it would last. Even if I didn’t know if we’d ever end up together,

I was happy, just for that day.