Blue Sunflowers

“There’s nothing you can do that can’t be done

Nothing you can sing that can’t sung

Nothing you can do but can learn to play the game

It’s easy

There's nothing you can make that can't be made.

No one you can save that can't be saved.

Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you in time

It's easy.”

I hummed along to “All You Need Is Love” as I worked on my application project for the University of Melbourne.

Next week was the deadline, but it’d take a while to get across the ocean, and my sister thought it was already across the ocean.

Eh, a little procrastination never hurt anybody, right?

I had taken a picture at the last gig the guys had played (well, the last I’d actually seen) and was trying to recreate it on canvas.

It’s actually a lot harder than it sounds. When they went up on stage, they played each played their little hearts out, like they needed to play that show to breathe. I didn’t blame them, I knew how they felt. You go on up there and you’re on top of the world.

That didn’t mean it was easy, though. They were all doing their own thing. Gerard’s facial expressions, how Frank’s hair swung around when he played, how Bob slightly parted his mouth as his drumsticks came down, the sweat dripping off of Ray’s face and his disheveled ‘fro, how Mikey brought his eyebrows together in seemingly intense focus. And don’t forget the audiences heads, arms, and lighters. They were the other half of the equation.

All those little details could make it or break it, I needed it made. If I could pull it off, I was on the fast track to Australia.

You know, I always found it hilarious, when people asked me why I was running off to Australia of all places.

I thought it was pretty obvious. Australia’s what comes to mind when I think distance. I wanted to distance myself from Jersey, from the US. Duh. I think when you move out and graduate, blah, blah, blah, you should go for change. Like, big change.

I don’t half-bake things, but whatever. Frank was planning on taking a couple classes at Rutger’s, but he was determined that My Chem were gonna make it big, So were they, so was I.

I just thought I’d need something to fall back on, you know? Just in cases, just in cases. I mean, art isn’t really all that much of a fall back, anyway.

I rummaged around for my thinnest paintbrush and found it under a mass of scribbles and paper airplanes.

“Ah-ha!” I shouted to myself as I found it. I turned back to my easel I’d set up in front of my window. I always liked to put it there because of how the sun would hit it from behind and make it glow, like my canvas was heaven sent.

I went back to work and tried my damnedest to try and get “Pansy” right.

“Holy shit.” I smiled.

“Hey, Frankie.” A flash went off and I finally turned.

I found Frank and camera in hand, with his “I didn’t do anything” smile on.

“You’re so fucking cute when you’re working, babe.” He kept grinning and showed me the Polaroid. I had my face scrunched up and my tongue was ever so slightly sticking out. I laughed and he joined in.

Before I could say anything, he held up his hand “I’m gonna need a copy of that” he mocked, raising his voice several pitches than necessary to impersonate me. “I know, I know, chill your face.”

I smiled “Am I that predictable, Frankie?” He put the camera down and put his hands on my hips. “No, just when it comes to pictures.” “Well, I like pictures.”

He looked around “Don’t have enough already?”

“No fucking way, as long as there’s time for memories, there’s time for pictures.”

He smiled “How poetic of you. How’s the uh, thing going along?” he nudged his chin towards the painting.

“The thing, Frank? The thing?” I raised an eyebrow and said in monotone.

He rolled his eyes “The masterpiece.” I grinned. “You guys are so complicated. It’s so hard to capture all those little details.”

H reached out to touch it and I slapped his hand away. “It’s wet dumbass.” He laughed and kissed my nose. “I’m your dumbass. Besides, I love it. You’ve got me down packed.”

I looked at it and shrugged “Eh, it’s ‘cuz you’re the ugliest, so it’s easier to draw you.” I kept a straight face and looked at him. He raised an eyebrow “Are you fucking kidding me, have you seen Gerard? Gah, I don’t know where your taste is.”

I smiled “I’m going out with you aren’t I?” I said matter-of-factly.

He pouted and I kissed him. “Relax, Frankie. You know I love you.” I said the last part in a silly voice and he laughed.

“Did’cha have fun at the hospital?” I asked, going back to my piece. His mom had been working at the hospital for longer hours lately (she’s a nurse) and she dragged Frank over there to spend time with him.

I saw him glare at me out of my peripheral. “You know I hate hospitals. It would’ve been a hell of a lot better if you were there, though.” I smiled.

“Do you realize you just said you’d like it if I was in the hospital?”

He thought and then rolled his eyes. “You’re gonna get stuck like that, you know, your eyes mid-swing.” I laughed and he hugged me from behind.

“So, I was gonna ask you…”

“Yeah?” I urged.

“If you wanted to go to the beach tomorrow.” He raised his eyebrows, in question.

“Shyea! I’m totally up for it, besides, you already had your mind made up.” I pointed out in a giggle.

“Duh, you know you can’t deny me.” He scoffed.