I Can Still Be Your Superman

…’Cause Jersey just got colder

And I’ll have you know I’m scared to death

That everything –

“Yellow,” I said cheerfully into my phone, balancing it at my ear with my shoulder as I threw sheets of paper into my bag.

“Purple!” Jenn responded loudly.

“Hey Jenn, what’s up?”

“Nothing much, just completely bored. The one thing I like about school is that it gives me something to do during the day.”

I laughed. “If you’re so bored, go outside or something, get some fresh air.” I said, walking out of the conference room and toward the elevator to go down to the lobby.

“Psh, no thanks it’s like a hundred degrees outside. Plus, I’d much rather annoy you. So, what are you up to?”

“Well, I just got out of a meeting about tour and I’m about to head to a photo shoot for the album artwork and stuff.”

“Right, your single comes out soon right? You excited?”

“Yeah, it’s being released Friday. I am excited I guess, really nervous and anxious more so I guess.”

“Well look at it this way,” Jenn started. “I finally get to hear one of your songs.”

I laughed and got off the elevator, spotting Nick and the band waiting for me on the couches near the front doors. “Not really, Nick wrote most of the single lyrically.”

“Damnit, but I’ll keep that in mind while I listen.”

I rolled my eyes. “You do that. I gotta go, the guys are waiting.”

“Okay, but wait, is Nick there?”

“Yeah, why?” I asked, walking up to the guys as they rose once they saw me.

“Ask him if he did the thing we talked about at Selena’s party?”

“What?” I asked, scrunching my eyebrows together and looked at Nick who mimicked my confused look.

“Just do it.”

I sighed and brought the phone away from my ear. “Nick, Jenn wants to know if you did the thing you guys talked about at Selena’s party.”

Nick’s features relaxed immediately. “Oh, yeah I did.”

I brought the phone back to my ear. “He said yeah.”

“Yes, perfect.”

“What are you talking about? What’s perfect?” I asked as I noticed a small smile form on Nick’s face.

“Oh nothing, ask Nick. I’ll talk to you later Morgan. Tootles!” She said and hung up before I could say anything more.

“What was that about?” Uncle John asked, glancing curiously between me and Nick.

I shrugged. “I have no idea, Jenn wouldn’t tell me. Nick, care to share?”

“It’s nothing.” He responded, though his tone seemed as if he was unsure of himself. “Let’s get going, don’t want to be late.” He said and began walking towards the front doors of the lobby.

The band looked between me and Nick oddly before following Nick with me closely behind. A car was waiting for us outside to take us to the set and we all piled inside; Nick and I all the way in the back.

“So,” I whispered as we drove through Los Angeles toward the highway, turning towards Nick who was staring out the window. “Are you going to tell me what Jenn was talking about or am I going to have to pull it out of you?”

A smirk crawled across Nick’s face and he turned away from the window towards me. “I’m curious as to how you’d ‘pull it out of me’.”

I rolled my eyes. “Come on Nick, just tell me. Why such a big secret?”

Nick sighed, “Because I don’t want everyone to make a big deal about it.”

“A big deal about what?”

“About,” He paused, glancing out the window once more before leaning towards me and spoke in a low whisper. “About me breaking up with Delta.”

My eyes shot wide. “You what!?” I yelled, making everyone in the car jump. “Sorry,” I said to the car before narrowing my focus back to Nick. “When did you do that?”

“Um… last Thursday after our meeting.”

“Why? Did – did our conversation have anything to do with it?” I asked curiously. Even though I didn’t want to be responsible for their relationship ending, a small part of me was glad that it was over.

“No, well not entirely. I was planning on doing it before then – that’s why I wanted to move the meeting earlier – our conversation just kind of… reassured me that I was doing the right thing.”

“Oh,” I said softly, my mind running a mile a minute trying to wrap my mind around the fact that Nick was single again. “But, why were you talking to Jenn about it at the party?” Why not me? I thought to myself, deflating slightly.

He shrugged. “I don’t know. She was just asking and I kept answering. She knows how to ask the right questions.”

I laughed lightly, nodding my head. “Yeah, she does that.”

A crease formed on his forehead as he scrunched his eyebrows together. “What’s wrong?”

His question hit me hard. What was wrong? Why was I so happy that Nick broke up with Delta? Why was I so upset that he talked about it with Jenn instead of me? “Nothing,” I finally answered. “Just shocked is all.”

Nick eyed me carefully, but nodded and returned his gaze out the window.

I let out a large sigh and looked down at my hands in my lap, my mind racing. My biggest concern was how Cameron would react to the news. I never told him that while I stayed at Nick’s apartment it was only the two of us, but this was different. Nick and I are going to be on tour together. I hoped Cameron wasn’t going to get jealous and possessive, but I don’t know what to expect from him, especially since he told me he loved me. Should I even tell him or let him find out on his own?

The car pulled into the parking lot of the studio and we all piled out of the car and began walking towards the set. As soon as we got inside, I was whisked away for wardrobe and make-up separate from the guys.

The make-up team washed my face to start with a clean slate (even though I wasn’t wearing any make-up anyway) and kept the make-up they did apply more natural. My lashes were curled and had mascara added then more lashes were added followed by more mascara. They put black eyeliner on my bottom and top lids, adding a wing tip on each eye. Foundation and blush were patted onto my face and a natural punk lip stain was applied to my lips. My fingernails were manicured quickly and given a fresh coat of clear nail polish.

All the while, the hair stylist was doing my hair. Katie, that was her name, worked quickly. She straightened and shortened my fringe, making it more even. She curled the rest of my hair and then ran her fingers through it to make it look more natural. Then she sprayed enough hairspray in my hair to possibly make it flammable.

After all that, I was escorted to wardrobe. There, I was given a black strapless push-up bra and seamless underwear to put on. Then, I was given a pair of black spandex leggings and a black oversized shirt that fell off my shoulder and the sleeves fell right below my elbows. A pair of red suede knee high boots adorned my feet and I was ready to go.

The heels were tall, about four to five inches, so I walked slowly and carefully to the set. Apparently, my wardrobe and make-up took longer than I thought because the photographer was already snapping away at Nick who was standing in front of a black backdrop, a glowing candle in his hand.

The entire set was dark; the only light came from a small light under Nick to add shadows to his face. The idea was to capture his (and the rest of the band’s) face with shadows created by the candle. It gave the picture a haunted feeling but also revealing, which is key since the album’s title is ‘Shared Secrets’.

“Keep it serious Nick,” the photographer, Andre, was instructing Nick as he continued to snap picture after picture. “You’re supposed to be serious and your eyes are screaming happiness. I want you to stare into my soul. That’s it!” He continued, clicking away.

About twenty feet away from Nick was a desk with a computer that displayed all the pictures as they were being taken. Behind it sat the creative director, David, Sonny, Michael, Tommy, and Uncle John. I walked over to them as carefully as I could and took the empty seat next to Uncle John.

“How’s it going?” I whispered to him.

“Good, we just started so you didn’t miss much. Nick’s almost done I think and then Sonny’s going. You’re up after him” Uncle John responded, leaning away from the computer screen to talk to me. “So what happened in the car before?”

“Oh, um… Nick was just telling me what Jenn was talking about.”

“Which was?” He pushed. But when he was answered by my silence he began laughing softly. “Ah, I see. It’s a secret.”

“Well, I’m not so sure if it’s a secret.” I replied. “But it’s not my place to say.”

“Right,” Uncle John said smirking before getting up. “I’m getting a water, want anything?”

I shook my head and turned my attention towards Nick who was still posing for the camera, making subtle differences between each click. Even though these specific shots focused only on Nick’s head and neck, he was already in wardrobe for later. He was wearing black skinny jeans and Converse paired with a red v-neck shirt with a leather jacket over it. He looked good, as he always did, but there was something different. I had no idea what it was and I couldn’t tell if it was a good or a bad thing. It wasn’t until he smirked at the camera for his last short that I knew what that something was, and it wasn’t good.

***

I pulled up to the curb in front of Cameron’s house, taking a deep breath before turning the car off and getting out. I tried to push away the thoughts of what I felt yesterday at the photo shoot as I walked up the path. I couldn’t think like that – I wouldn’t, I refused to.

Zach answered the door a few seconds after I rang the bell, a warm smile on his face. “Hey Morgan, come on in.” He said, giving me a hug before moving out of the doorway to let me through. “Cameron, Morgan’s here!” He yelled and led me to the living room.

“Hey Morgan, what are you doing here?” Nathan asked glancing up at me from his spot at the couch, The Dark Knight playing on the TV in front of him.

“Yeah, I thought you had a photo shoot or something.” Michael added.

“Nah, that was yesterday.” I said, sitting on the arm of the couch next to Nathan as Zach sat on the opposite love seat. “I thought I would stop by before things get crazy. Plus, I miss seeing your smiling faces.”

“Well, who wouldn’t?” Michael said as he gave me a large grin before turning back towards the movie.

Before I could respond, a pair of arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me off the couch. “Why hello there stranger, haven’t seen you in a while.” Cameron said into my ear, his breath tickling my neck.

I twisted in his arms. “I know, I’m –”

“Guys, really? Trying to watch a movie here.” Zach said, gesturing to us to be quiet.

Cameron and I stuck out our tongues at him before Cameron took my hand and led me upstairs to his room. I’ve been in his room before, so it wasn’t really a big deal. It was a nice sized room, big enough to fit a double bed, a dresser, and a bookcase. It was smaller than the other rooms but it did have an en suite bathroom which, I guess, made up for the lack of space.

As soon as we got inside and Cameron closed the door, he grabbed me by the waist and pulled me back towards him. “Where were we?”

I giggled lightly as I wrapped my arms around his neck. “Well, I was saying how sorry I was for not being around the past few days.”

“Oh, that’s okay. We’ll just have to make up for lost time.”

I cocked my head to the side and smirked. “And how do you suggest we do that?”

“Well first, we do more of this.” He said, moving my hips with his arms and he pulled me closer to him. “And we do even more of this,” He continued and placed his lips on mine softly. “It’s simple really.” Cameron said after he pulled away.

I nodded. “Sounds simple enough,” I laughed. “But first, I have something for you.” I said, twisting out of his arms and sat on the edge of his bed, placing my bag on my lap.

“Like a present?” Cameron asked, his eyes glowing in child-like curiosity and sat down on the bed next to me, trying to peek into my bag.

“Yes, like a present. And no peeking!” I said laughing, tearing the bag away from his grasp. “Patience is a virtue.”

“It’s a virtue I lack, now gimme, gimme, gimme.” He said, bouncing on the bed.

“Remind me,” I said, pulling out the square package from my bag. “Am I dating a twenty-one year old or a five year old?”

“A twenty-one year old,” He said bashfully, but kept a curious gaze at the gift in my hand. “You got me a CD?”

I smirked. “CD, yes; got… not so much.”

“What do you mean?”

“Play it.” I said simply, handing it to him.

With the CD in his hand, Cameron hopped off the bed and walked across the room to his stereo. After pushing the CD into the reader and pressing play, the opening chords of ‘Near to You’ filled his room. He turned to me once he recognized the melody. “You made me a CD?” He said, smiling broadly.

“It’s only a few songs, so more like an EP.” I said just as my voice began singing. “It’s just this song and a few covers that I thought you’d enjoy. Can you pause it though? It’s kind of weird talking over my own voice.”

Cameron laughed, but paused the CD and joined me on the bed. “Well, I love it. Thank you.” He said, kissing me lightly. “But, why do it?”

I shrugged. “I guess ‘cause we’re both going on tour and not going to be able to talk to each other every day. I thought it would be a way for you to hear my voice and remember me.”

“No matter how long we’re apart, I could never forget you.” He said seriously, his hand cupping my cheek.

“Glad to hear that,” I whispered. “I don’t think I could forget you either.”

Cameron smirked. “You better not.” He said and leaned in, closing the gap between us.

He began to pull away, but I didn’t want to stop. I kicked my shoes off and pulled my legs up onto the bed, straddling him as I say on his lap and grabbed his face with my hands, bringing his lips back to mine. He was shocked at first, but quickly met my pace and kissed me just as forcefully. This was what I wanted. Not Nick, but Cameron. I threw as much passion as I could into the kiss to make sure of it. I couldn’t be wrong. If I was… I have no idea what would happen.