You've Got Me, Right Where You Need

Josh was on tour for two months. I spoke to him about half way through but that was the only time.

Sonnie and I were closer than ever. He walked me to and from work and we spent most of out free time together. He pretty much lived with me now since liana was always with Freddy, so I didn’t see liana that much. I was falling for him fast, and as much as it scared me, it felt nice in a weird sort of way.

When josh eventually came back from tour he left a letter at work addressed for me.

Violet

I got you tickets for a gig this Friday night, but I could only get you two. But I got you two back stage passes as well, so I was thinking two of you can watch it from the side of the stage, if that’s alright.

There is also a pass for Sonnie from Barnes.

Can’t wait to see you.

Love josh x

Josh’s messy scrawl made my heart go a flutter and the biggest smile I had worn in a while adorned my face. I had talked to tom about Sonnie and his photography work and he had agreed to help him out. They had met up a few times and got along like a house of fire.

I talked to everyone and they were free for once so Charlie and I sat at the side of the stage whilst liana and Zahra were lost in the crowd somewhere and Sonnie was setting up with tom. It was about 10 minutes until the guys were due to go on when I heard josh shout my name.

“Hey” I smiled and he pulled me into a bone crushing hug. He was still as beautiful as I remembered. “How are you?“

“Im great, you?”

“Good. You remember Charlie right?”

“I do indeed, how have ya been love?” he smiled and I left them to catch up. I knew Charlie wasn’t josh’s biggest fan, but she put on a pretty convincing show. I looked out to see if I could spot liana and Zahra, but there were too many people. I looked down and spotted Sonnie. He saw me and waved, and just as I was about to wave back, a pair of arms wrapped around my waist and carried me away.

I kicked my legs and tired to break free but they wouldn’t put me down. I looked ahead to see Chris and shouted over to him so he would help me, and he laughed before untangling me from whoever’s arms I was in and then setting me down. I turned to see max standing there with a massive grin on his face.

“Im gonna kill you” I threatened him, a small smile playing on his lips.

“You gonna have to catch me first” he winked. I lunged for him which made his run off squealing like a little girl. I let him rum away thinking I was chasing him, before turning back to Chris.

“So you ready?” I questioned.

“As ready as I’ll ever be”

“Well good luck” I smiled and pulled him into a hug.

“Thanks”

“Hey can I join the party?” matt asked as he approached us.

“Aha sure thing” I smiled and we made room for him.

“Make some room people, flint town wants in” we heard, and then dan came to join the hug on my left.

“Group hug!” max screamed before bounding into us and then standing in the middle.

“I wanna be in it, I wanna be in it” josh shouted and run over to us, wrapping one arm around my waist, and the other around matt who was on his other side. We stood there for a few minutes, talking and getting pumped for the show, and then everyone broke apart. Josh didn’t take his arm from around my waist. Instead he pulled me back into him.

“Good luck” I whispered

“Thanks” he said into my ear and we walked back to the side of the stage. I sat next to Charlie and josh picked up a mic before smiling at us once more and running out onto the stage.

“So what did you and josh talk about?” I questioned.

“Just stuff. He’s a lot different from when we were at school. He’s almost… decent” we both giggled and I shook my head.

The boys played exceptionally well and the crowd we’re really lively too. About three quarters of the way through the set, josh spoke to the crowd like he had done many times through out the night. Little did I know what he was about to say.

“Ok so this song I want to dedicate to a very good friend of mine. Her name is violet, and she’s at the side of the stage right now. She’s been a life saver lately and I just wanted to say thank you. I don’t know what I would have done without her recently” he turned to us and waved so I waved back lightly.

“I wonder what song it is” Charlie asked. I shrugged my shoulders and focused back on josh.

“I wrote this with her in mind, but I guess I never really understood what it meant until now. So yeah here it goes. This song is called crash.”

My heart sped up dramatically. He wrote a song about me? I tried to calm down so I could actually appreciate the song. The song started off slow and josh began to sing perfectly. I listened to the lyrics; not really taking them in, until he said the fatal line’s that grabbed my attention.

“But when I looked at her, I thought of only you.
If only there was proof I could use to show it's true.”

My breath caught in my throat and I gripped the seat firmly. I was now fully focused on whatever josh was singing.

“We were young,
we were in our teens.
It wasn't real love,
spent behind bars.
Oh it's sad to think,
we just let it be.
Prisoners of love.”

By this point my mind was spinning. I thought I was going to hyperventilate. I was trying not to read too much into what he was saying, but it seemed to be staring me right in the face. It wasn’t like the lyrics were that hard to work out.

“We grew up;
we worked and changed our ways.
Just like wildfire,
been burning now for days.
Tearing down those walls,
nothing's in our way.
I said, nothing's in our way.”

I could see josh from where I was sitting and he turned to sing the next part right to me.

“And I know,
I've said this all before,
but opposites attract.
We try and run away,
but end up running back.”

No expression was shown on either of our faces. I felt too numb inside to show anything on the outside, so my face was blank. I tried to smile, to do anything, just to let him know I understood, or a felt something back, but I couldn’t. We broke our eye contact and he faced back to the crowd.

“Crash, fall down.
I'll wrap my arms around you now.
Just crash, it's our time now,
to make it work, second time around.”

Suddenly thoughts of Sonnie came flooding into my mind. He was right in front of josh, witnessing the whole thing. I hoped no one would think too much of it, and soon the song was over.

“Just crash, fall down.”

The place erupted into cheers and Charlie and I cheered along with them.

“That was a pretty song” she smiled and I nodded in agreement. The gig went on for about another 20 minutes and then the guys ran off stage, sweaty and tired. I talked to them all leaving josh till last. By the time I went to speak to him, he was sitting on an amp with his head down. I stood in front of him and he looked up at me through his eye lashes. I swear I had never seen anything more beautiful.

I knew what I had wanted to say, but looking at him I forgot, so I just stood there looking stupid. He stood up and smiled lightly at me.

“Thanks” I whispered.

“What for?”

“I think you know what. That song. It’s beautiful”

Josh went to say something but then stopped and said something else. “thanks. im glad you liked it” He wrapped his arms around me and I breathed in his familiar sent, calming me down instantly. I wanted to stay there forever, but I heard my name being called so we pulled apart to see who it was.

Sonnie came bolting over and took my hand in his giving it a squeeze. “Hey man, good show tonight” he told josh

“Thanks” he smiled

“I hope you don’t mind but I need to steal her away” he smiled and pulled me away before I could say anything else to josh. He pulled me away into a corner and stood so he was blocking my view of everyone. “Is it alright if we head back to yours? I kinda need to talk to you about something”

“Sure. Is everything alright?” He just nodded and we went home in relative silence. Once we were back it was just us because liana was staying with Freddy that night and coral was out of town doing a job. We went up to my room and he sat on the end of my bed whilst I quickly changed into a pair of shorts and a tee before joining him. He was now lying down, so I lay next to him and he pulled me into his chest. “So what’s up?”

“Don’t take this the wrong way” he said “but I think you should keep away from josh”

“What?” I asked, and sat up, slightly hovering over him. “Why?”

“I see the way he looks at you, and after that song tonight it’s just proven to me that he has feelings for you”

“What? No Sonnie, why would josh have feelings for me?”

“You don’t think he does? “

“No, why would he?”

“Violet” he sighed and tucked some hair behind my ear. “You are so much more than you can see. I wish you could see yourself the way I do, and I wish you could love yourself the way I do, cause in my opinion, you deserve the world and I wanna be the person to give it to you” I looked down and he traced the outline of my lips with his finger. “It’s just I don’t want to lose you when ive only just got you”

“Sonnie. Do you really think I would leave you for josh?” I tried to ignore the voice in the back of my head that answered my own question. He just shrugged and avoided eye contact. “Do you not trust me?” I asked sitting up fully and facing away from him. He sighed and sat behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist, resting his chin on my shoulder.

“Of course I trust you. Im just scared”

“Why?”

“Everything I love has left me in the end”

And there was that little word. Love. I gulped and turned to him, still wrapped up in his arms.

“I won’t leave you” I whispered, wrapping my arms around his kneck.

“Promise?” he whispered, rubbing his nose against mine. I just nodded and he pressed his lips against mine firmly and pulled us back down. I felt his hands explore my body before he climbed on top of me, straddling my waist, his face inches from mine. “I meant what I said” he whispered. His voice heavy and husky. “I love you violet. I know we haven’t been together long, but everything feels so different with you. It feels right. It feels real. I’d pretty much given up on love until you showed up”

I didn’t really have past relationships to compare this one to. The only thing I could compare it too was how I felt about josh. If I was being honest with myself, I didn’t love Sonnie, not yet anyway. I went to say something, but he put a finger to my lips.

“Don’t say anything” he whispered and kissed me once more. “Go to sleep, ill see you in the morning”

I nodded and shut my eyes, my head swimming with thoughts of josh.