You've Got Me, Right Where You Need

“Rough night?” Ella-May asked as I washed my coffee cup up.

“You can tell?” I laughed and turned to face her. If I was being honest with myself, I did look pretty bad. My hair was piled up on my head, my face sickly pale, and my work shirt was crumpled. “Josh had a party last night”

“So I heard” she smiled lightly. “You sure you’re feeling ok?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine don’t worry about me” I chuckled and we walked out to the reception together. It was about 3 in the afternoon and Zahra and I were practically dead. Thankfully tom was coming in any minute so that lifted out spirits slightly. As soon as I took my seat he burst through with 4 very familiar looking guys.

“Ladies” tom nodded to us as he signed in.

“Hey tom” I smiled, “I didn’t know you guys were coming in today”

“Yeah, after last night neither did we” max laughed and rubbed his head.

“Where’s josh?” Zahra asked.

“Running late” tom said and raised his eyebrows. “Can you send him up when he gets here?”

“Sure” Zahra smiled, and they all went upstairs. About 10 minutes later josh scrambled in.

“You’re late” Zahra teased as he ran in and he laughed lightly at her. “Their upstairs” she giggled and he rushed upstairs. I wasn’t expecting a full blown conversation; I mean he was in a rush. But I didn’t expect to be totally blanked. I brushed it off and got on with my work until it was time to go.

“You mind staying behind till their done violet?” Ella-May asked.

“Sure that’s fine” I smiled and made my way up to the studio they were in. I snuck a look inside to see the boys taking 5 and tom messing about with his camera. I walked in and tom instantly looked at me.

“Im sorry im late it’s just this thing is messed up” he chuckled and pressed a few buttons.

“It’s no problem, mind if I stay in here?”

“Be my guest” he smiled and then called the boys back over. I sat and watched while he worked with them for about another half an hour, before we all packed up and I locked up. It was dark now, the street lights fully illuminated. Everyone had left apart from me tom and josh, and tom was just packing the things into his car. “Right then, I’ll see you guys around” he smiled and jumped into his car.

Now it was just me and josh. You could cut the tension with a knife. “Um violet, about last night” he said to me quietly, and I looked at him and nodded. “Can we urh, just forget about it?”

“Um…”

“I’m just thinking about you and Sonnie. I don’t want to be the reason why you too end things. I mean, we were drunk right”

Honestly? I know this sounds cold but I hadn’t even thought about Sonnie or what last night had meant between me and him. All I knew now was that I wanted josh. More than ever.

“But josh-“ I started, but he cut me off.

“Would you just forget about it?” he said angrily.

“No josh I can’t” I said firmly. He started to walk off but I followed him. In the dim light it was hard, but I managed to keep up. “Too much has been said for me to just forget. Yes I may have been drunk but I meant every word of what I said. It’s a shame you didn’t.”

“Don’t, don’t you dare, you know I meant every word of what I said.” He said stopping and turning to face me. He looked and sounded angry, but so was I.

“Then what’s wrong?”

Looks like he didn’t have an answer to that one. He stood their breathing heavily, his teeth clenched and his hands balled into fists. We stayed their looking at each other for a while. Thankfully it was late enough so that no one was around, because im sure to anyone else this would have looked strange. I could see josh have an internal battle; almost see the wheels turning in his head, but I was not prepared for what he did next.

He hooked a finger through my belt loop and pulled me into him before crashing his lips onto mine. My arms instantly went around his neck, pulling him further into me. I could feel his fingers pressing into my hips firmly and he kissed me with a fiery passion that made me dizzy.

Yes last night me and josh kissed, but it only lasted about 3 seconds before we heard someone coming and liana dragged me back inside. Plus I was under the influence of alcohol. But this, this was something new.

There was something inside of him, like a fuel that he needed to burn. It was like he was hungry for something and even though his lips were on mine, it was like it wasn’t enough and he needed more of me.

He pulled back suddenly, grabbing my hips again, and pushed me up against the nearest building. I could feel josh’s hips grinding into mine and I pressed myself into him further. My breath got caught and when I looked up at him, he was smiling down at me devilishly. We attached our lips back together again with a fiery passion that I was afraid would set us alight.

Josh’s hands suddenly disappeared up my shirt, and his bare hands left goose bumps as his fingers trailed along my bare skin. I tightened my grip and earned a low moan from josh and had to contain my own at the sound. He pulled back reluctantly and brushed some hair out of my eyes.

“We shouldn’t be doing this” he whispered, his eyes on the floor. But then his eyes suddenly shot up to mine “but I can’t help it. I think about you all the time” he admitted, “even when I have so much to worry about, even in the early hours of the morning. I can’t stop thinking about you.” I didn’t have a chance to reply before he pressed his lips to mine again. “We should get you home” he huffed before untangling himself from me, but he kept hold of my hand.

“I don’t want to; I want to stay with you” I said looking up at him. He placed a kiss on my forehead and sighed.

“Trust me, I want you with me too, but we can’t. Not right now anyway.”

“Why not?”

“A certain person called Sonnie is at home waiting for you” he said, venom laced in his voice. I reached up and cupped his cheek, and his turned to kiss my palm.

“I love you, josh”

“I love you, too violet. I really do” he snaked his hands around my waist once more, and I placed my hands on his chest. “Everything about you makes me melt inside. I love you so much it hurts, but it hurts more knowing that I can’t have you.” He rested his forehead on mine and I moved my hands up. Our lips were centimetres apart when my phone began to ring. We begrudgedly pulled apart and I looked to see coral was calling me.

“Hello?” and answered slightly angrily.

“Hello to you too” she said in mock hurt. Coral had now completely lost her accent and was starting to sound like herself again. Even since she had come back home and started living with me, she was much nicer. We got along better and it was like I actually had a sister. It felt very strange, but nice at the same time.

“Sorry, I was just… don’t worry. You need anything?”

“Actually, I am worrying, where the hell are you?”

“Sorry, I stayed late at work, ill be back soon”

“Okay, see you soon”

I ended the call and looked back at josh. “I have to get going.” He nodded understandingly and took my hand again.

“I’ll walk you home” he smiled sadly and squeezed my hand.

“Josh you don’t have to”

“Its late love, and do you really think im going to let a gorgeous girl like you walk home by yourself”

“But it’s in the wrong direction”

“Its fine violet. Im a big boy” he winked and kissed my forehead. We set off, hand in hand with a comfortable silence taking over. We didn’t say anything most of the way, I was just grateful to be with josh.

“Why were you angry with me before?” I said when we were about 5 minutes away. I instantly regretted it in fear that he would get angry again, but thankfully he didn’t.

“I just don’t wanna be the ‘other man’” he sighed, cringing at the use of the phrase “other man”. I stopped dead in my tracks and pulled josh back to me. His hands found my waist again and we shared another small, but mind blowing kiss.

“You are not the other man josh. You’re far from it”

“It’s just I want you, I want all of you”

“I want you too” I admitted. Josh then grabbed one of my hands and twirled me under his arm and then pulled me back to his chest, so my back was to him and his arms were around my waist. He placed a trail of kisses up my neck and when he reached my ear, he breathed on it lightly, causing me to shiver. “You taste like soap” he whispered and then chuckled lightly, causing my knees to go weak.

“At least you know im clean” I replied as best I could since I was on the verge of a heart attack. He pulled away and grabbed my hand, setting off for home again.

“Can you at least get a cab home? It would make me feel a bit better”

“For you, I’d do anything” he whispered and kissed my temple.

“Then call a cab” I giggled and josh got out his phone. “Come wait inside until it gets here” I said when we eventually reached my house.

“Nah its ok, I’ll be fine outside”

“It wasn’t a question josh, it was an order” I winked and pulled him inside.

“VI is that you?” Sonnie called from the lounge.

“Yeah, josh is here too, he’s just waiting for a cab” I called back and then we both walked in. I took the seat next Sonnie and josh sat in the arm chair.

“So what took so long?” Sonnie asked kissing my cheek.

“The guys were working late and then josh walked me home” I said. Technically I didn’t lie to him; I just missed out the massive make out session. “But I told him to get a cab home because it’s dark”

“Little miss sensible ey?” Sonnie said to josh and they both shared a laugh. I shook my head and enjoyed the fact that even though Sonnie thought josh had feelings for me, he was being civil. We chatted for a while before the cab pulled up outside and I walked josh to the door.

“That was painful” he whispered.

“What do you mean?” I asked just as quietly.

“Seeing you and him together and knowing less than hour ago I was in his position. I better go” he smiled sadly and kissed the corner of my lips. “I love you” he whispered before disappearing into the cab and soon he was out of sight.