You've Got Me, Right Where You Need

“Do you guys like live here now or something?” Zahra questioned josh as wrote his name in the record book along with max.

“No, we’re just terribly vain and like to have pictures of ourselves taken.” He smiled and finished writing. “Anyway, were filming today so it’s not exactly the same thing”

“Whatcha filming?” she questioned.

“Some interview for kerrang.” He answered and then the door opened. A load of guys who I had never seen before piled in and Zahra took them all upstairs to help them get set up, leaving me with max and josh. We talked about random rubbish until Sonnie suddenly entered.

“Ello love” he smiled and kissed my cheek.

“Um hey, what are you doing here?”

“I came to ask you something” he smiled and then just stood there.

“Okay. What is it; I kind of have stuff I need to do” I said slightly angry. Why couldn’t he just ask, why was everything such a mission with him?

“Oh well um I was wondering if you would be able to get Friday and Saturday off work?”

“I don’t know Sonnie, what with all the hospital stuff I need to make up time. Why?”

“Its just I promised to go and see the rents and I wanted to take you with me”

“Sorry Sonnie, I really can’t take anymore time off”

“Its ok” he smiled sadly. “I’ll see you tonight?” he questioned and I nodded lightly before he turned and left. I rubbed my forehead knowing that I had been completely out of order. I looked up to see Zahra coming back down and I stood up.

“Zee I’ll be two minutes” I shouted before running out the door and looking for Sonnie. Once I spotted him I run after him and pulled on his arm making him face me.

“vi? What are you-“

“im sorry” I cut him off. “ive just got lots on at the moment and I shouldn’t be taking out on you. Will you forgive me?”

“don’t be silly, of course I will” he smiled and he pulled me into a hug and kissed my temple. “now go back to work” he smiled and released me. “I love you” he called as I turned away.

“I love you, too” I said, a lump rising in my throat and guilt swimming through my veins. I waddled back to work and took my seat behind the desk. Josh and max still there.

“you alright” max asked me and I simply nodded. “so what going on tonight then?” he asked me.

“what do you mean?”

“well Sonnie said he would see you tonight, is he taking you out?”

“are you kidding me?” Zahra laughed. “they never go out, they just sit and watch crappy TV shows” I laughed lightly and the boys joined in.

“what so he never takes you out?” josh asked me.

“not really” He pulled a face and then someone upstairs called them. “I’ll um, I’ll see you guys later” he said and they both ran upstairs.

Sonnie left Friday morning and worked dragged. I made it home in good time, but when I was walking up the path I noticed a big white box on the door step. I approached it slowly and saw there was a little tag on it with my name on. I carefully picked the box up and took it inside. After setting it down on the coffee table, I pulled the lid off to find a wad of purple fabric and a piece of paper on top. I opened the paper to reveal a letter.

A car will pick you up at half 7 so make sure you’re ready.
Make sure you wear the dress.
I can’t wait to see you x

I didn’t recognise the hand writing, but I set the letter aside and pulled the dress out of the box. It was the same colour as the bracelet josh gave me when I was in hospital, and lacy on top, but sort of floaty at the bottom. I didn’t recognise the label, but it looked like it cost a lot, so I carefully set it inside the box again. I looked at the clock and saw the time was 6:03.

I was in two minds about what to do. I was guessing this was josh’s doing and I really wanted to see him, but then thoughts of Sonnie overwhelming me. I sat there for ages feeling awful about how I kept going behind his back. I looked back at the dress and the sadness left me. it was about time I didn’t something fun. Plus whoever had set this up clearly had put lots of effort in so I quickly got ready.

After about an hour, my hair and make-up were done. I had tried remembering what Charlie did when she had done my make-up before and it had turned out ok, and then I straightened my hair and slipped the dress on. It fit perfectly and I smiled sadly at my reflection.

What are you doing? I asked myself, but I was suddenly brought out of my thoughts by a knock at the door. I opened it slightly to se a middle aged man on the other side.

“violet?” he asked.

“um yeah?”

“hi, im your driver for the evening. I’m mike” he smiled warmly.

“oh um hi, give me two minutes” I smiled and run upstairs. I found my shoes in lianas room, and quickly grabbed my bag before running back downstairs.

“ready?” he questioned and I nodded. We left and I locked the door and followed him to the car. He opened the back door for me, and I slid inside as gracefully as I could.

We had been driving for about 10 minutes when the nerves set in. I sat forward so mike would be able to hear me. “um mike, where are we going?”

“that’s for you to find out love”

“so you can’t tell me anything?”

“nope”

“not even who im going to meet?”

“no, im under strict orders not to tell you anything”

“who gave you the orders?”

“ahhh im not telling you a thing” he chuckled and I sunk back in my seat. We drove for about 20 minutes and he still wasn’t stopping.

“are we nearly there yet?” I asked like a bored child who had been sat down for too long.

“about 5 more minutes” he said and I began to fiddle with the hem of my dress. Before I knew it the car stopped and my door was being opened. He motioned for me to get out, and I got out of the car. “come with me” he smiled and he led me into a small restaurant. “wait here a sec” he whispered and talked to someone who worked at the restaurant. “ok just follow her” mike smiled and then left. I followed a women and she sat me at a table near the back, that was quiet and out of the way.

“can I get you anything?” she smiled.

“um not right now thanks” she nodded and then walked away. I looked around nervously, looking out for anyone I might recognise, but I was too busy looking that I didn’t see what was right in front of me.

“looking for someone?” he said, and I looked up to find josh standing there. I smiled lightly and he took a seat in front of me.

“josh, what is all of this?”

“well you said the other day that you and Sonnie never do anything, so I thought I’d put some excitement back in your life. Nice dress” he winked and took my hand.

“josh” I sighed “what are we gonna do?”

“what do you mean?”

“everything is such a mess.” I sighed and put my head in my hands.

“okay this is not how I imaged things going” he said more to himself than me and moved across the table to the seat next to me, pulling me into his arms. “what’s up love?” he murmured into my hair.

“I feel horrible”

“Sonnie?” he questioned and I nodded. He held me tighter and kissed my head. “let’s just try and forget, at least just for tonight”. I nodded and he moved back to his seat.

About 3 hours later we left hand in hand, and I felt loads better, until josh brought the subject of Sonnie again. “so when does Sonnie get back?”

“Sunday afternoon” I sighed and we sat on a bench. Josh called a cab, and we waited out side. I forgot to bring a coat, so josh took off his and wrapped it around me before pulling me into his chest. “I have to choose don’t I?” I whispered into his chest, and he hugged me tighter.

“what love?”

“I need to choose” I said looking up at him. “Between you and Sonnie” I gulped “It can’t go on like this” I said with tears in my eyes. I blinked quickly and they spilled over, tumbling down my cheeks.

“hey don’t cry” he whispered and wiped my tears away with his thumbs. “listen, you’re right okay? It can’t go on like this. And it kills me seeing you this upset, I hate putting all of this on you, its not fair”

“yes it is, it’s all my fault”

“don’t say that” he whispered. He pulled back slightly so we faced each other and looked me right in the eyes. “If you want to be with Sonnie, then…” he trailed off and huffed. “I’ll wait for you, I promise.”

“josh, I… I don’t know what I want right now. I mean being here with you, its perfect, like everything I imagined it would be, everything I ever wanted. But then when im with Sonnie I feel so guilty. Im so confused.” I couldn’t even try and hold back the tears anymore. Gut wrenching sobs managed to escape my mouth and I clung onto josh’s shirt for dear life. He held me tight and just let me cry. After about 5 minutes quietened down and he wiped my eyes again.

“in so sorry vi” he whispered.

“stop saying that” I giggled and he smiled slightly. “im sorry for getting snot on you”

“Its fine” he chucked and then our cab pulled up. We climbed in and about 45 minutes later we pulled up at josh’s house. He chucked some notes at the driver and pulled me out with him. “stay with me tonight. Please” he said told me rather than asked. “I don’t want you on your own tonight”. I nodded and we ran up into his flat. “you wanna change?” I nodded and he pulled me into his room.

I had never been in josh room before, and as weird as it sounds, it was just as I imagined it. The walls were dark blue and there were clothes dotted around the floor that he didn’t even attempt to move. His bed was unmade and I plopped down on the end of it. The walls were scattered with different pictures, like a scrap book had puked up on his walls. I looked carefully at the pictures until I felt something land on my head. I pulled josh’s tee off my head before he chucked a pair of shorts at me.

“thanks” I giggled.

“no worries love, bathrooms over there” he smiled and pointed to a door next him. I quickly went in and shred myself of the dress and pulled on the things josh gave me. They smelt like him and I smiled as the fabric touched my skin. I left the dress on the floor and walked back out into his room. He had changed too and was now sat on the bed. He motioned me to come over and I sat on his lap. His arms snaked around me and he pulled me close. “You look better in my stuff” he murmured and I giggled lightly. “You felling better?”

“No” He nodded and kissed my forehead. “I just want to forget about everything” I buried my face in his shoulder and began kissing my neck and then moved up to nibble on my ear. “J-josh stop, I ca-ant think”

“Isn’t that what you wanted” he giggled and I began to shiver. “Come on you” He sighed, and he lay down, pulling me with him, so I was lying on top of him. He kept his hands on my hips, and I propped myself up so I want putting so much of my weight on him. I looked into his eyes as he run his fingers along my spine. “Can I tell you something?” he whispered.

“Anything”

“When I said I’d wait for you, I meant it. Because I know that one day we’re gonna spend out lives together. I don’t know when, and I don’t know where, but it’ll be you and me. It always has been” I could feel the tears brimming again so he kissed them away. “Seems like all ive done is made you cry tonight” he chucked and I giggled along with him. “Ahhh that’s better” he whispered before turning on his side so we faced each other.

“Sorry, ive kinda ruined tonight”

“Hey, as long as you’re with me, It could never have been ruined.” he whispered, running his fingers through my hair. “I can’t help but think that if I had told you how I felt before, none of this would be happening. And I know everyone says everything happens for a reason, but if im honest that’s a load of bullshit. I was just too scared to admit I liked because I didn’t want to lose you. I love you violet”

“I love you, too josh” I smiled and he kissed me once more before pulling the duvet over us, and I fell asleep in his arms.