You've Got Me, Right Where You Need

I woke up the next morning tangled in josh; my face burred in his chest. I thought he was asleep until he moved under me, and kissed my forehead. “Morning love” he said in the gorgeous, husky morning voice of his.

“Hey” I smiled up at him and he laughed. “I guess I should get home, I need to get ready for work” I sighed and reluctantly peeled myself away from him.

“Mind if I come with you?” he yawned and I nodded. I had to put the dress back on from the night before, but josh just laughed at me. “Wanna borrow something else”

“Please” I smiled and he rooted around for things that were small enough for me to wear.

“I think these are too small for me” he said as he passed me a pair of jeans that im sure would drown me. I giggled and placed them over my arm whilst he looked for other things. Next he gave me a purple tee with a big smiley face, and the words “woke up with a smile on my face” splashed on the front of it.

Fitting.

“Hey, what’s down but not out?”

“Huh?” he said turning to face me.

“Down but not out? Is it like a brand or something?”

“Urh, I guess you could call it that” I held it up to look at it again and josh took a seat next to me. “You like it?” I nodded and he smiled shyly. “Keep it, ive got loads of them”

“Why?”

“Because, violet my love, I designed them” he winked and then stood up.

Okay didn’t see that coming. “Whoa, what?”

“Yeah well I get bored sometimes, it’s just a nice thing to do on the side” he smiled. “I’ll be back soon” and with that he left. I quickly put on josh’s things, and by the time I was done, he came back inside. “I found these downstairs. They’re Elissa’s” he smiled and passed me a pair of black dolly shoes. Elissa was josh’s sister. She was kind of like my sister in the way that she was famous at school, but she was known for her amazing singing and how nice she was. I slipped them on, and they fitted perfectly. “You ready?”

“Indeed sir, I am” I smiled and he chuckled lightly before grabbing my hand and pulling me outside.

“Oh do you wanna a jacket or something?” I didn’t have time to reply before he was holding out one of his hoddie’s for me to slip my arms through. Once it was on we walked home hand in hand. “So Sonnie gets back tomorrow yeah?” I looked up to see that familiar cheeky smile that I loved so much adorning his beautiful face.

“Yes” I smiled.

“So you will be alone again this evening?” he mocked.

“Aha, indeed I will Joshua.” By now we were outside my house. He face me, taking both my hands in his.

“Can I see you again tonight?” I nodded and he brought my hands up to his lips. His eyes suddenly shot to mine and he raised an eyebrow at me. “You still wear this?” he asked and hooked a finger through the bracelet that he got me all those months ago. I nodded; biting my lip before his lips came crashing down against my own. “I really do love you violet” he whispered against my lips.

Even thought josh had told me that more than once now, it still sent my heart into overdrive. “I love you, too” I smiled and he kissed me once more. He was about to say something more when his phone rung. He answered it and I unlocked the door. He followed me inside and I rushed upstairs and quickly changed. I was back downstairs within 5 minutes.

Josh walked me to work and I spent the rest of the day thinking about him. And then Sonnie. And then josh again. I dawdled home; completely forgetting josh said he was coming round and by the time I was there, he was sat on the door step. He stood up and kissed my forehead when I reached him.

“I was beginning to think you weren’t coming home to me” he winked and I unlocked the door.

“Sorry, it’s been a long day” I huffed and collapsed onto the sofa. Josh crawled on top of me and began to place kisses all over my face. His lips soon found mine, and he kissed me once before lying next to me.

“Better?” he chuckled and I nodded. We ended up ordering pizza and falling asleep on the sofa. Only to be rudely awakened by liana and Freddy the next morning. At the sound of the front door slamming, me and josh woke up quickly and scrambled around on the sofa until we were sitting apart.

“Violet darling, auntie liana and Uncle Fredrick have come to see you!” she sung up the stairs.

“Im urh, im in here” I shouted and she burst through the door. Her eyes clocked josh and her eyebrows shot up.

“Is Sonnie not here?” she questioned

“He’s seeing his parents for the weekend, he’ll be back later” I said, trying to look as innocent as possible.

“I need to get going, band practice” he smiled and then quickly left. Josh didn’t know that liana knew about us, but I guess he could feel the tension in the air. Or he had band practice.

Freddy took the seat josh was just in, and I chatted to him for a while whilst liana flitted around doing things, before she poked her head back through the door. “vi can I have a word?” she smiled before disappearing again.

“good luck” Freddy joked, before ruffling my hair as I stood up. I was still trying to put it back into place when I found liana in the kitchen.

“Do you know how awkward you’re making this for me? Freddy and Sonnie are best friends. I don’t think I can keep this up much longer vi, you need to tell him.” She said, looking more serious than I had ever seen her before. I gulped and nodded.

“I know. I was gonna go and see Charlie today and get things sorted out”

She simply nodded and touched my arm. “me and Freddy are gonna hang here for a bit okay?” I nodded and she turned and left. Once she was out of sight I go my phone and dialled Charlie’s number. She picked up on the third ring.

“Hey love, what’s up?”

“Hey Charlie, um I was just wondering If I could come and see you today. Alone if that’s alright”

“Sure, Ali’s out today. Are you sure you’re ok?”

“Im fine, I’ll be over soon”

“Ok see you”

With that I rushed upstairs and pulled on a pair of jeans, a top and slipped on my vans. “Im just heading out ill be back soon” I shouted as I left. It took no time at all to get to Charlie’s, and I could feel the nerves setting in from what I was about to unload on her.

Ali’s parents had paid for their new house because they had more money than they knew what to do with. Well I say house, it was more an apartment, but it was the size of a house. It had only recently been built so it looked all modern and new, and inside it was exactly the same. There was a gorgeous view of the city and it was just what I imaged her house to look like. She let me in and we sat on her massive sofa whilst I tried to plan out what I wanted to say in my head.

“Are you sure your ok violet, you look a little… tense” I gave her a small smile and then took a deep breath.

“Do you like Sonnie?” She stared at me dumbfound, like she didn’t know how to answer, or how she should answer. “Its not a trick question, I just wanna know”

“Ok… well yeah I guess. I mean he’s never done anything bad to me, and he makes you happy” I shut my eyes, and breathed through my nose. “Or not…? What going on vi?”

“I don’t… I mean… urh im such a horrible person” I moaned as I buried my head in the cushions.

“vi. Hush up and just spit it out”

“I cheated on Sonnie” I admitted. Her eyes went wide and her mouth hung open.

“w-what? With who?”

“Josh” I gulped. I didn’t think it was possible but her eyes got even wider.

“vi… I don’t, I mean, what?” she looked so confused. I knew I had to come clean about anything and everything.

“ive had a massive crush on josh since the first time I met him, and I never told anyone because I knew no one would understand. It was stupid and immature but whatever, I was like 14. anyway, he told me he felt the same way”

“have you like… well, you know…?”

“what? no, no” I said realising what she was saying and feeling my face heat up. “I mean we’ve kissed, and the last two nights we’ve been together, but we haven’t…” I drifted off, my face im sure bright red by now. She had a sad look on her face so I took in a ragged breath and continued. “im so confused. I mean, I have Sonnie, and he’s like perfect and everything, but I feel like there’s nothing there between us anymore. Like no spark.” She nodded like she understood which made me feel slightly better. “and then there’s josh. I mean just his name makes me go all weak kneed and dizzy. And I know it’s not temporary. I mean, surly it would have gone after 5 years right? And I know it sounds strange, but it doesn’t feel like im cheating on Sonnie, it feels like im cheating on josh more than anything. I mean, we’ve found each other again after all these years, that’s got to count for something right?”

“so you’re saying you want to be with josh then?”

“I… I think so, its just, Sonnie. I mean I still love him and I don’t want to hurt him.”

“violet, listen to me.” she sat up and took one of my hands. “Ive noticed for a while the way your eyes light up whenever josh around or even mentioned. I admit I didn’t like him, but I can see he’s changed. And if he loves you as much as he says he does, then there’s no point wasting your time with someone you don’t want to be with. It’ll only make it harder in the long run. If you don’t want to be with Sonnie anymore, then you two aren’t meant to be.”

“im scared Charlie. What if I mess it up? What if me and josh are a mistake?”

“We all make mistakes love; you’ll never know if you don’t try. And hey, even if you and Sonnie are meant to be, then you’ll find your way back to each other again someday. Things have funny ways of working themselves out. I know it seems hard right now, but anything worth getting takes a bit hard work right? Nothing worth having is that easy to get.”

I nodded sensing the truth in her words. I got myself into this mess; I needed to get out of it. “Thanks Charlie. You’re the best”

“I know” she winked, ”anytime” she smiled and we shared a bone crushing hug before I made my way home. When I got there, Freddy and liana were gone, but Sonnie was now there.

No time like the present eh?