Every Storm That Comes Also Comes to an End

"Are we just gonna ignore the giant elephant in the room?" I suddenly exclaimed. Alex seemed to be taken off guard by my question. “What?” His reaction angered me a little. "The fact that you just abandoned me in Baltimore without so much as telling me yourself. You had Jack tell me. How was that supposed to make me feel?" I said.

Alex continued to stare at me, his mouth opening and closing, but no words came out. I waited a minute for him to gain back his ability to speak, but when he still didn’t say anything I was really started to get angry. “Do I really mean that little to you? Or did you simply not have the guts to tell me personally?”

Alex was really taken aback by my little outburst but recovered quickly. “I did what I thought was best.” He said sounding a little bitter. “For who? You or me?” I hissed. “For both of us.” He said. “For both of us? Right…. I didn’t know you even cared about anyone but yourself.” I said in a soft voice that was dripping with venom.

“You’re one to speak!” Alex suddenly exploded. “I was in the fucking hospital for weeks and you didn’t even visit once because apparently you were too busy screwing some other guy.” I suddenly felt an urge to hit him, but seeing we were in public I restrained myself. “Fuck you Alex. How dare you! How dare you call me selfish! Yes I was on a date, but when Jack called me telling me you were in the hospital I practically ran to the hospital. I dropped everything to see if you were okay.”

Alex was staring at me, but I wasn’t done yet. “Do you have any idea how terrified I was when I saw you lying in that hospital bed? I seriously thought I’d lost you Alex! I was so scared you weren’t going to make it!” I was screaming now, no longer caring we where we were. “And then I suddenly get a call from Jack tell me you’re moving to the other side of the country!” I pushed my seat back and got up.

Alex was chewing on his lower lip. “I didn’t know. I thought I heard you, thought you were there, but Jack told me you never came….” “Because I asked him not to tell you.” I said before storming out of the shop. Once outside I started to run. This is exactly why I’d been reluctant to move to L.A.. I really wanted to work things out with Alex, but somehow all our conversations ended in soap opera worthy screaming matches.

I was only two block away from my apartment when a pair of strong arms wrapped around my waist. I whirled around to come face to face with Alex. I started to hit his chest, demanding he let go of me, but he didn’t move an inch.

After a few minutes my punches were getting weaker and I could feel a few tears slip. When I finally stopped abusing him Alex crushed me against his chest. “I’m sorry Ave, I’m so sorry.” I could tell by the tone of his voice he wasn’t just apologizing for the argument, but for everything that had happened since I’d come back to Baltimore.

We stood there for what felt like an eternity. I knew this didn’t solve any of our problem, but it felt so good to be back in his arms, I didn’t want to let go. “Can we talk?” Alex asked softly “I mean really talk? Not argue?” I nodded. “Yeah, I live right around the corner, come on.” I said and finally let go of him.

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“So I’m guessing you didn’t move all the way to L.A. to yell at me in a Starbucks hmm?” Alex tried to joke as I placed a cup of coffee in front of him. “No I got a job offer.” I said flatly. It was a little awkward after our embrace, both of us ignoring the real issue, just making small talk.

I sat down next to him. My couch was a bit small causing our knees to touch. “Alex, are we ever going to talk about what’s really going on or are we going to talk about the weather for the rest of the day?” “Well as long as we’re talking about the weather we’re not going to argue right?” He said, probably only half joking. When he saw the less than amused look on my face he stopped. “Alright, alright. You’re right.” He mumbled.

“You know, you never really answered my question. Why did you leave?” I asked. Alex sighed. “I’m sorry I made you feel like I’d abandoned you, I never meant to do that. I thought it was better that way. It was for your own good. I’m like poison, ruining everything you ever cared about!” He jumped up and started pacing across the room. “Can’t you see that? I destroyed you Avery. You’re better off without me. I can’t believe you actually followed me here and….”

“I didn’t follow you Alex.” I interrupted him. “I told you I got a job offer, my dream job, the one I’ve been working my ass off for the past few years. Moving here had nothing to do with you.” He looked a little hurt by that fact, but nodded anyways. “No, no of course not.” He mumbled. “Why would it? It’s not like I really matter anymore, right?” He smiled weakly at me.

I got up too. “Alex stop saying that! You are not poison. Quite the opposite actually, you’ve been the only thing that has kept my sane after everything started to fall apart. You’ve been the one person I could always count on to be there for me. Even when I hated you, you still loved me…..”

“Of course I still love you!” He shouted. “I’ve always loved you.” I bit my lip. “I know, it’s just that when you suddenly left I thought….. I figured you were finally done with me….” I tried my best not to cry, but I felt my eyes water. Alex stood in front of me, completely frozen. “You thought…. I didn’t…. love you anymore?” He choked out, like even the thought was incomprehensible to him.

He took a step closer to me. He gently pushed my hair behind my ears before he slowly lifted my chin, forcing me to look at him. “Ave, when I called you, a few weeks ago, I asked you something, but you never got to answer me.” He whispered. “I know.” I said, my voice so soft I wondered if he could even hear me. “So, is it true? Are you still hung up on me?” I bit my lip, trying to avoid his gaze. “Ave please answer me.” He begged. “Do you still love me?”

I finally found the courage to look him in the eye and answer him. “Yes. Yes Alex, I love you.” Before I could comprehend what happened Alex’s lips met mine. I stood there frozen for a split second, but when I realized what was going on I threw my arms around his neck and kissed back with everything I had.

Alex pulled away from me slightly to catch his breath. “Alex” I whispered. “We shouldn’t…..” “Shh, don’t Ave, please.” He mumbled against my lips. “Alex, I..” “No Ave, please, give me a chance. One more chance. Please, I’m begging you. Don’t push me away now.” I stared into his eyes. “Alright, one chance, one more, that’s all you get.”

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It’s been three days since our kiss. Alex wanted to get back together immediately, but I thought it was better to take things slow for now. I love Alex, but I’ve been through enough with him to know it wasn’t a smart move to jump right back into a relationship. We needed to start over, start from scratch. I’d told him this when I’d agreed to go on a date with him. Alex being Alex had of course made some lame joke about no sex until the 6th date, but agreed this was the best way.

Talking about our date, I was on my way to Alex’s house. He’d told me he somehow convinced to stay away from the house for the rest of the night, since we hadn’t told or friends and family we were trying again, so he could make me dinner. I was surprised Alex even knew how to cook, but then again, the last time we actually had a homemade meal together we had only been teenagers.

At 6.02 p.m. I arrived at Alex’s. I hadn’t even gotten out of my car when the front door opened. “There you are!” He exclaimed. “I thought you weren’t going to show up.” I chuckled. “I’m two minutes late. Don’t get your panties in a twist.” “Whatever. I just….” I studied his face. “Wait a minute. You actually thought I was going to ditch you?” I burst out laughing. “I’m sorry.” I managed to say in between giggles. “But two minutes late? Really Alex?” Alex laughed too. “I know, I know, it’s silly. I was just so damn nervous, kinda like our first date.” He confessed. “Come on, let’s go, dinner is ready.”

I expected Alex to take me inside, but instead he let me to the side of the house, into the backyard. I gasped when I saw the sight in front of me. There in the sand Alex had set up a picnic blanket surround by dozens of candles, his acoustic leaning against a chair.

“I figured since this is sort of our second first date why not redo our actual first date.” Alex said sheepishly. “I know it’s probably really lame and a bit corny, but I just…..” I caught him off with a quick peck on the lips. “It’s perfect.”