I'm Ready to Leap. I'm Ready to Live.

Craig’s POV

I stood outside in the driveway waiting very impatiently. I was angry where I didn’t have a right to be, I was jealous where I didn’t have a right to be and I was hurt where I didn’t have a right to be. This was Kat’s life now. Without me in it. I can’t say I was thrilled about it.

As I began pacing I watched Kat creep outside clutching her “nervous” cigarettes as she called them in her hand. She pulled one out and lit it before she even came near me.

“So…What’s going on?” she asked not looking at me.

“I should ask you the same thing.” I said staring straight at her, daring her to look back at me.

“No, you really shouldn’t because it isn’t your business Craig.” she spat back her angry green eyes finally meeting my own.

I scoffed, “I guess you two are back together then?”

“No actually were not asshole. Brendon came here from L.A. to visit me because I asked him to. I haven’t spoken to him since our almost wedding. I needed time alone. I got sick of being alone so I asked him to come.” she said, venom in her voice.

“Oh.” was my brilliant response. “Sorry. I shouldn’t assume these things. I know you and yet I let myself stand here and treat you like I don’t. Look, honestly, I came here because I miss you. Because I’m so sorry about what happened. I don’t know if you feel anything for me anymore, but I know that I still feel everything I felt before about you. I love you Kat and I made a terrible mistake.”

Her eyes began to water. I hoped against all hope that she would say she loved me too and that she wanted me back just as badly as I wanted her.

“I love you too Craig. I really do still, but I can’t do this with you. I don’t want to try again because what we had was so perfect and you ruined it. When you left me I told myself no matter what happened I wouldn’t go back to you. Michigan has and always will be filled with bad memories for me. I don’t hate you anymore. I don’t even have the strength to dislike you. I love you, but I have to tell you something. I love Brendon. I can’t try this with you again knowing how I truly feel deep down inside. I’m not going to keep covering my eyes to it because its how I feel.” she sobbed.

I felt my heart break. “Kat please.” I begged.

“I can’t.” she sobbed. “I know you love Sarah, Craig. You’ve never been good at dealing with hard times, but I think you should go home and work things out with her. You have no idea how much it hurts me to say that, but I think it’s the right thing for both of us.”

“Kat. He’s just going to hurt you again and what are you going to do when he goes on tour again? Are you going to let him go and be miserable and pathetic again while he is gone. Hoping that he’ll come back for you like he didn’t the last time.” I said, feeling the hurt and anger seeping into my own voice.

‘FUCK YOU.” she screamed. “How fucking dare you say that to me. When you are the one showing up on my doorstep asking me to be with you because you can’t handle your little problems. Brendon loves me. Always has whether it be platonically or romantically I know he loves me and GOD DAMMIT I love him too.” her voice rising at the last part.

“What’s going on?” I heard him ask before I saw him.

“Mind your own business Brendon.” I said as tears coated my eyes.

“I heard my name so this is my business. Especially since Kat is involved.” he retorted.

“I’m fucking gone.” I said turning to my car. “You two can live in your little fairytale world. Don’t come crying to me when he breaks your heart again Kat.” I said with no remorse.

“I wont.” she spat turning away from me, Brendon’s hand already clutched inside of hers.

I didn’t stay to watch them walk inside. Instead I threw myself in the car and left.

“Fuck this.” I muttered as tears came to my eyes. “I’ll forget her. She’ll be nothing but a memory.”

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Brendon’s POV

I heard Kat screaming about me and that’s when I decided to step outside and see what was going on. The end result wasn’t pretty even though I was certain I heard her say that she loved me.

We were on her couch and I held her close to me as she sobbed into my chest. I was certain this would be the last surprise visit from Craig, but I hated that he even showed up in the first place. He had that terrifying ability to turn Kat into a complete wreck and it did nothing but make me angry. Instead of chasing him down though I just kissed the top of Kat’s head, staying quiet knowing nothing that I said would make her feel any better.

After a while her sobs eased and she finally pulled her head out from the hollow of my chest. “Did you hear any of that?” she asked, her voice hoarse from screaming.

“A little.” I admitted.

“Well, I assume you heard the part about me loving you.” she said embarrassed.

“I did.” I replied taking her hand in my own.

“I do, love you that is.”

“Kat I love you too. You’re right you know. I always have.”

She smiled lightly. “I’m gonna go take a shower since there is no hope of me going back to sleep.”

“Ok. I’ll take one when you are finished. I’m gonna go get us some movies because I think today might be one of those days.” I said kissing her cheek.

“I think you’re right.” she said putting herself against my chest.

I wrapped my arms around her waist as I looked down to meet her eyes. Something was brewing behind them. “Uh-oh.” I said smiling.

“Hmm?” she asked mischievously.

“I remember that look. What’s going on inside that head of yours?” I asked playing with a strand of her hair.

She didn’t say anything. Instead she pressed her lips firmly to mine. I tried to speak around them, but she wasn’t having it. She grabbed my hand and started to pull me up the stairs.

“You know what those green people say,” she said laughter in her voice, “You save water if you shower together.

I followed Kat willingly up the stairs and into her huge bathroom. We stripped down to our undergarments. I stopped just staring at her as she bent into the shower to turn on the water. Her body was beautiful. Maybe I was biased, but I would always see her as perfect. She straightened her back and turned to face me. I pulled her to me and kissed her lips. “We shouldn’t do this.” I said quietly after pulling away.

Her lips turned down. “Why?”

“Kat. I love you. You know that. You’re body is literally about to kill me, but I want to take things slow with you. I want you to fall back in love with me all over again. I think we should wait until its more than just hormones pushing our bodies together.” I said hoping she would understand what I was trying to tell her.

A light smile graced her lips. “You’re right. I should make you woo me all over again.” a giggle escaped her mouth.

She kissed me lightly. “Now you go take your shower and get those movies. Because when you get back I will have breakfast ready.” she slapped my ass while I was on my way out the door.

“Pervert.” I said laughing at her.

“You love it.” she smiled.

“I do.”