‹ Prequel: Kids With Guns
Sequel: False Paradise. ›
Status: Active.
Rhinestone Eyes.
Thirteen.
June 21st, 2011.
Sierra got out of the bed slowly and walked to the door quietly opening it and walking down the hall, the TV in the living room was on. She tip toed her way down the stairs and turned the corner to see that Tom was still asleep. The daylight coming in through the windows was still dark blue. She walked into the kitchen quietly and opened the refrigerator. Not much was inside. She grabbed a cheese stick and the carton of orange juice. She grabbed a glass and started to fill it with orange juice. She looked up when she was done and her eyes locked on the door to his old office. Her heart fell and she walked toward the door, she reached her hand out slowly and turned the knob even slower. When she walked in she left the door wide open and turned on the light. When the room illuminated everything was clean and in the right place, but she knew she was the only person to come in here since he had died. She took in a slow nervous breath and sat down in the chair that was at the big desk. A few music magazines, a few albums, and some art work for Drop Dead were littered across the desk. The laptop was still sitting open next to the big computer monitor which was completely off. There was still a green light blinking on the laptop. Next to the laptop was a picture of them together. She looked at it for a moment, her eyes started to water. He really had missed her.
She reached forward and picked up the picture. From behind the picture fell a folded piece of paper. Sierra set the photo back down and reached for the piece of paper, he heart racing, hands shaking. She unfolded the paper and started to read.
I knew that you would find this eventually, I just didn’t know when.
I know you think that what I did was selfish, but really it was you who was selfish and you’re so sad and pathetic that you either don’t realize it, or you’re so egotistical that you don’t want to believe it.
When we were young we did drugs together, we even did drugs when Tommy got here. You know I always smoked weed, and I know that you did too. The man that you married is a druggie and there isn’t any hiding it from anyone but people like you, people who want to have the best when they bargain for something that doesn’t even reach the expectations. I don’t expect you to know that I know you fucked Matt. And I don’t expect you to think that I didn’t care. Atleast he would have been a better father than me, or that sad excuse of a person you like to call Ben. I wasn’t a good father at all. When we went on tour I was happy that I wouldn’t have to see either of you, I didn’t take good care of him, I didn’t teach him anything good. I wanted you to leave me for Matt, and be happy. If you had done that, I would probably still be here probably explaining this to you face to face. He didn’t marry you because he loves you; he married you because Danny wanted him to. Danny didn’t want Ben fucking you unless you were married, I know because I was there when he said it. And not only did he just marry you to fuck you and it be okay with Danny, he disrespected Danny’s wishes and fucked you multiple times while you WEREN’T married. And I know you don’t love him, I would be surprised if what I’ve done hasn’t ripped you two apart, and god knows I hope that it did. I do love you. I did miss you. I did need you. But it seems now that I have no reason to love, miss, or need a filthy whore who needed to marry someone else just to get over me. I wonder how many times you’ve cheated on him already. I’m going to die knowing that your un-happy. And knowing that my mother will take care of Tommy. God knows you aren’t fit to do it. Why don’t you go do some more blow?
I’ll always love you Sierra, but I’ll always feel bad for you too.
When she had finished reading the letter she was crying. She felt stupid. Everything he said was true.
She stood up from the chair and backed away from the desk. She took in deep sharp breaths and with eyes full of tears she screamed.
She ripped posters down from the walls, threw the computer from the desk and threw the photo of them together into the wall, it smashed into pieces but no real harm was done to the photo. She ripped the letter into big pieces and threw it on the ground she pulled draws from the desk and threw them as well. It wasn’t long until Tom was awake and pulling her out of the room from around her waist. She tried to hold onto the door frame but he pulled her so hard that they both fell to the floor and he was quick to grab onto her again before she could go into the room again and do any further damage. She kept on crying and eventually held onto Tom for dear life. He held her and let her cry.
When her cries grew quiet he pushed her back lightly and looked at her.
“Are you okay?”
She nodded and looked at him, then back down quickly.
“Wha’ ‘appened?”
She cried loudly again and soon Matt was in the kitchen with them. Confused and worried about the crashing sounds he had heard.
Tom looked up at Matt and then nodded to the office. Matt leaned forward a bit to get a look at it. His eyes got wide and he walked back up stairs.
“Why don’ you go an’ get us some food… I ‘ave a list bu’ ‘avent got around to it yet…”
She looked up and nodded.
“elp you get your mind off everything… Help yeh calm down?”
“Okay…”
***
Sierra washed her face and got some regular clothes on. She had called Carol and was going to go get Tommy and take him with her, then bring him back home.
She walked down the stairs and Tom was already trying to clean up her mess, she apologized again and asked for the keys. He nodded his head and went into the living room, Sierra followed. Tom handed her the keys and gave her some money along with the grocery list that was on the coffee table.
-Coffee
-Soda
-Eggs
-Cheese
-12 packs of Mac n cheese
-Ramen, package and cup
-4 bags of pretzels
-TV dinner Chinese
-ice cream
-apple juice
-gogurt
-cheezit’s
-gold fish
-peanut butter and jelly stuff
-chocolate milk
-12 Kids cuisine
-Cheetos
-pringles
“Everything at the bottom is for Tommy isn’t it?” She asked and smiled.
Tom laughed.
“Yeah… We try to spoil him.”
Sierra smiled and waved goodbye, she walked toward the door and Tom walked back into the office. As soon as her heard the front door close, he broke down. He couldn’t take it anymore. He missed Oli.
Sierra got out of the bed slowly and walked to the door quietly opening it and walking down the hall, the TV in the living room was on. She tip toed her way down the stairs and turned the corner to see that Tom was still asleep. The daylight coming in through the windows was still dark blue. She walked into the kitchen quietly and opened the refrigerator. Not much was inside. She grabbed a cheese stick and the carton of orange juice. She grabbed a glass and started to fill it with orange juice. She looked up when she was done and her eyes locked on the door to his old office. Her heart fell and she walked toward the door, she reached her hand out slowly and turned the knob even slower. When she walked in she left the door wide open and turned on the light. When the room illuminated everything was clean and in the right place, but she knew she was the only person to come in here since he had died. She took in a slow nervous breath and sat down in the chair that was at the big desk. A few music magazines, a few albums, and some art work for Drop Dead were littered across the desk. The laptop was still sitting open next to the big computer monitor which was completely off. There was still a green light blinking on the laptop. Next to the laptop was a picture of them together. She looked at it for a moment, her eyes started to water. He really had missed her.
She reached forward and picked up the picture. From behind the picture fell a folded piece of paper. Sierra set the photo back down and reached for the piece of paper, he heart racing, hands shaking. She unfolded the paper and started to read.
I knew that you would find this eventually, I just didn’t know when.
I know you think that what I did was selfish, but really it was you who was selfish and you’re so sad and pathetic that you either don’t realize it, or you’re so egotistical that you don’t want to believe it.
When we were young we did drugs together, we even did drugs when Tommy got here. You know I always smoked weed, and I know that you did too. The man that you married is a druggie and there isn’t any hiding it from anyone but people like you, people who want to have the best when they bargain for something that doesn’t even reach the expectations. I don’t expect you to know that I know you fucked Matt. And I don’t expect you to think that I didn’t care. Atleast he would have been a better father than me, or that sad excuse of a person you like to call Ben. I wasn’t a good father at all. When we went on tour I was happy that I wouldn’t have to see either of you, I didn’t take good care of him, I didn’t teach him anything good. I wanted you to leave me for Matt, and be happy. If you had done that, I would probably still be here probably explaining this to you face to face. He didn’t marry you because he loves you; he married you because Danny wanted him to. Danny didn’t want Ben fucking you unless you were married, I know because I was there when he said it. And not only did he just marry you to fuck you and it be okay with Danny, he disrespected Danny’s wishes and fucked you multiple times while you WEREN’T married. And I know you don’t love him, I would be surprised if what I’ve done hasn’t ripped you two apart, and god knows I hope that it did. I do love you. I did miss you. I did need you. But it seems now that I have no reason to love, miss, or need a filthy whore who needed to marry someone else just to get over me. I wonder how many times you’ve cheated on him already. I’m going to die knowing that your un-happy. And knowing that my mother will take care of Tommy. God knows you aren’t fit to do it. Why don’t you go do some more blow?
I’ll always love you Sierra, but I’ll always feel bad for you too.
When she had finished reading the letter she was crying. She felt stupid. Everything he said was true.
She stood up from the chair and backed away from the desk. She took in deep sharp breaths and with eyes full of tears she screamed.
She ripped posters down from the walls, threw the computer from the desk and threw the photo of them together into the wall, it smashed into pieces but no real harm was done to the photo. She ripped the letter into big pieces and threw it on the ground she pulled draws from the desk and threw them as well. It wasn’t long until Tom was awake and pulling her out of the room from around her waist. She tried to hold onto the door frame but he pulled her so hard that they both fell to the floor and he was quick to grab onto her again before she could go into the room again and do any further damage. She kept on crying and eventually held onto Tom for dear life. He held her and let her cry.
When her cries grew quiet he pushed her back lightly and looked at her.
“Are you okay?”
She nodded and looked at him, then back down quickly.
“Wha’ ‘appened?”
She cried loudly again and soon Matt was in the kitchen with them. Confused and worried about the crashing sounds he had heard.
Tom looked up at Matt and then nodded to the office. Matt leaned forward a bit to get a look at it. His eyes got wide and he walked back up stairs.
“Why don’ you go an’ get us some food… I ‘ave a list bu’ ‘avent got around to it yet…”
She looked up and nodded.
“elp you get your mind off everything… Help yeh calm down?”
“Okay…”
***
Sierra washed her face and got some regular clothes on. She had called Carol and was going to go get Tommy and take him with her, then bring him back home.
She walked down the stairs and Tom was already trying to clean up her mess, she apologized again and asked for the keys. He nodded his head and went into the living room, Sierra followed. Tom handed her the keys and gave her some money along with the grocery list that was on the coffee table.
-Coffee
-Soda
-Eggs
-Cheese
-12 packs of Mac n cheese
-Ramen, package and cup
-4 bags of pretzels
-TV dinner Chinese
-ice cream
-apple juice
-gogurt
-cheezit’s
-gold fish
-peanut butter and jelly stuff
-chocolate milk
-12 Kids cuisine
-Cheetos
-pringles
“Everything at the bottom is for Tommy isn’t it?” She asked and smiled.
Tom laughed.
“Yeah… We try to spoil him.”
Sierra smiled and waved goodbye, she walked toward the door and Tom walked back into the office. As soon as her heard the front door close, he broke down. He couldn’t take it anymore. He missed Oli.
♠ ♠ ♠
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