Remembering the Ghost of You

June 23rd, 1945

Life went on as it normally does. The days got warmer and the sadness in my heart lessened. Home was in the near future. Nothing made me happier then thoughts of home. Rebecca’s letters were almost torturous to read. I wanted to be there for her and my mother and everyone. She spent most of her time in Chicago now, but recently my mother has taken a turn for the worst. Rebecca said the only thing my mother says now is, “I need to see them. I want to see my husband and Mikey.” I didn’t tell her that it scared me too. I wanted to be strong for her. I had to be strong for her, Esmerie, Frankie, Ray; everyone.
“Today you said Frankie comes,” Esmerie said to me as we folded bandages. Frank had been in Germany since Greta’s death. He’d been working with the red cross and was coming in with a group of patients. He was okay at least.
“He’ll be here with the others,” I told her knowing that all she cared about was seeing Fighter again.

When they arrived things got crazy. Some young woman had apparently stepped out of one of the trucks as it was driving. Frank had jumped out to get her and she’d been screaming at him to kill her until they sedated her. I sent Esmerie home with Fighter while I worked on the patients. Most were from the camps still and then there were others like the girl that jumped out of the truck. She was from a town in Germany and raped by soldiers. She jumped to kill herself and the baby.
“I don’t know how you did this shit during the actual war,” Frankie said as we took a break to smoke.
“I don’t either,” Ray said. “I wasn’t sure I’d wanted to do it to begin with, but I wanted to help people. I wanted to save everyone.”
“I bet it was easier to think that back home,” I said to Ray and he nodded.
“At least I didn’t have to step up and do it like you though. Drop the gun for bandages? Hell I wouldn’t have,” he told me.
“I don’t know why I did,” I said and Frank rolled his eyes.
“Gerard it’s obvious that you try and help everyone that crosses your path. I mean you’re the only one I know who took in two children and cared for them even though no one asked you to,” Frank said and I shrugged.
“That just felt right though,” I admitted.
“Her name is Vivienne,” Frank then told us. “A year younger then me too. We found her starving in the streets. I didn’t think she’d jump, but after hearing her story I should have seen it coming.”
“You can’t beat yourself up over it Frankie,” I said and he nodded.
“I know Gee, but it’s hard and I’m new at all of this.”
“She’s still alive though,” Ray reminded him and he just shrugged.
“But she doesn’t want to be and she doesn’t want the baby in her and I just don’t know what to do to help her,” he said and smashed the cigarette with the toe of his boot.
“You’ll figure it out,” I reassured him and Ray nodded.
“Frank we need you inside,” Samantha said coming around the corner. She smiled at me and I smiled back and then she dragged Frank away. Ray raised an eyebrow at me.
“Methinks little Frankie has something to tell us,” I said and Ray laughed.
“He does talk about her a lot,” Ray said and I nodded. It was nice to see young love amongst all this shit.
“I say we pester him at dinner,” I said and Ray agreed.

Dear Rebecca,
The day I arrive home is drawing closer and closer. I am scheduled to return home on October 20th. I will arrive in New York City where I have some business to attend to, but then I will be home. You are the first person I would like to see. I know you say it over and over and I agree that nothing would make me happier then to see you when I first arrive home.
I’ve started going through the motions of adopting Esmerie. It’s easier then I thought it would be. There are so many displaced families and children who have nothing left though, so giving one a home is a relief to the disorganized government here.
I don’t know what you’ve heard from your sister, but her and Frank have gotten close. He’s been working a lot with the Red Cross and they’ve taken a liking to each other. Ray and I made him tell us everything at dinner today. I think they might love each other and it’s a nice thing to see. They are always sneaking off for a few minutes here and there. In a way I wish I could be that carefree.
Are you still in Chicago? Where ever you are I bet it’s starting to feel like summer. It’s been getting warmer here and I’m glad. All the flowers are blooming and Paris is starting to take shape as the city it once was. I’ll be sure to bring you something back.
Esmerie drew you another picture too. Sometimes, when I’m sitting in the kitchen with her, it feels like you are then one away from us. I miss you so much. More then I ever thought I would and I’m again sorry that it’s taken me this long to realize so many things. Mrs. Dupont says I shouldn’t be too hard on myself though. she reminds me that I rarely take time to think or worry about myself. She says I should be glad that I realized this before it was too late. Ray likes to make fun of me though; saying it was apparent from when he first saw us together. I can’t wait until we are all together and having a good time when the world is at peace. Most of this war is over and that means I’ll soon be home.
Stay strong Rebecca and I will see you sooner then seems real.
Love,
Gerard