Status: Slow but its getting there
Stuck in This ***ing Rut
With All My Heart
Chapter 6:
Alex-
I held one of my best friends in my arms as she sobbed quietly. All of a sudden the sobs stopped. Shit. I can’t let this happen to her, Matt or Jack. I tried shaking her gently. I heard a panicked Matt run on the bus followed by everyone else. When Matt reached the bathroom door he looked as if he’d seen a ghost.
“She’s not waking up.” I felt the warm tears flow down my cheeks. “Call 911.” Rian started dialing. I could hear him faintly over Jack’s barely silent sobs. Matt stepped in the small bathroom and fell against the wall staring blankly at the limp body of his sister in my arms.
“This is all my fault.” He barely spoke.
“Fuck she’s still bleeding. Zack, grab me something to wrap her arms in, an old shirt!” I pushed her bangs back to reveal her closed eyes. I knew that Matt felt insanely guilty for this. His baby sister wanted to commit suicide because he told her she couldn’t be with Jack. This was nearly unimaginable. She was finally better and all of a sudden she might die. This brought back the memories of my brother, Tom. I don’t want my best friend to lose his sister this way or my other best friend to lose the love of his life this way.
“They’re here!” I heard Sevie yell. The medics pushed everyone out of the way as they rushed to my side. I placed her on the floor as they checked for a pulse. I looked at the floor around us and at my arms. All stained with her blood.
“She has a weak pulse.” The older one said. “We have to get her out of here now.” I watched as Matt followed them. The rest of us hurried to the van Rian hopped in the driver’s seat as Sevie got in next to him. Jack slowly sat next to me. I put a hand on his shoulder.
“She’ll be okay.” I said barely above a whisper. He just continued to stare intently out the window.
Jack-
I didn’t know how to handle the fact that the girl I’m madly in love with is almost dead. When I saw her lying there, motionless, I was terrified I wouldn’t be able to hear her voice again or see her sparkling hazel eyes. It was the small things that made me fall for her. Alex kept glancing over at me.
“No, I’m not okay. The one person I love with all my heart is almost dead.” I said bitterly. I knew I hurt him when I said it. “Sorry, it’s just I’m scared shitless she’s not gonna make it.”
“Relax dude, she loves you too much to call it quits.”
Matt-
I sat in the waiting room of the hospital with my friends. Our parents were trying to get here as fast as they could. Jack and I sat isolated from everyone. I occasionally looked up at him to see that he hadn’t moved a bit. Still as a statue. I couldn’t live with myself if I knew I was the reason behind my sister’s death. All she did was fall in love with Jack and I wouldn’t let her be with him. I knew his ways, the random hook ups and partying all the time. Ever since I noticed her stop cutting, I noticed him not party. I James Matthew Flyzik killed my sister. I felt a shift in the couch. Breaking my stare from my feet I saw Zack attempt a small smile.
“Come on you were just being an older brother. Just like Rian. He won’t let me be with Sev. Britt is a strong little bitch.” I chuckled at his comment. When she was seventeen she got a concussion and was unconscious, I called her a bitch before the accident and when she woke up the first words were ‘Hey, I’m a strong little bitch.’
“I know she is. I just can’t believe I’m the reason behind this.”
“You have to talk to Jack man, he’s just not Jack without her…” I looked back over to Jack. He was a wreck more than anyone. Zack pushed me over to talk to him. I slowly got to my feet and started toward him.
“Jack.” He didn’t look up at me
“Look, I get it. You’re pissed. But don’t take it out on Brit, she means too much to me to see her hurting like that. I love her more than anything Matt. She means the world to me. Fuck, she is my world. But because she’s you’re little sister and you don’t want me to be with her, I won’t. I’ respect that, but you need to know that I’m completely in love with her. I can’t stand to see her hurting. The one condition that I had if I was to date her was her to stop the cutting. She hated my guts when I told you about it.” He started crying again. “I can’t be on tour anymore knowing you hate me. Or to bear the pain of not being with her. I quit.”
Alex-
I held one of my best friends in my arms as she sobbed quietly. All of a sudden the sobs stopped. Shit. I can’t let this happen to her, Matt or Jack. I tried shaking her gently. I heard a panicked Matt run on the bus followed by everyone else. When Matt reached the bathroom door he looked as if he’d seen a ghost.
“She’s not waking up.” I felt the warm tears flow down my cheeks. “Call 911.” Rian started dialing. I could hear him faintly over Jack’s barely silent sobs. Matt stepped in the small bathroom and fell against the wall staring blankly at the limp body of his sister in my arms.
“This is all my fault.” He barely spoke.
“Fuck she’s still bleeding. Zack, grab me something to wrap her arms in, an old shirt!” I pushed her bangs back to reveal her closed eyes. I knew that Matt felt insanely guilty for this. His baby sister wanted to commit suicide because he told her she couldn’t be with Jack. This was nearly unimaginable. She was finally better and all of a sudden she might die. This brought back the memories of my brother, Tom. I don’t want my best friend to lose his sister this way or my other best friend to lose the love of his life this way.
“They’re here!” I heard Sevie yell. The medics pushed everyone out of the way as they rushed to my side. I placed her on the floor as they checked for a pulse. I looked at the floor around us and at my arms. All stained with her blood.
“She has a weak pulse.” The older one said. “We have to get her out of here now.” I watched as Matt followed them. The rest of us hurried to the van Rian hopped in the driver’s seat as Sevie got in next to him. Jack slowly sat next to me. I put a hand on his shoulder.
“She’ll be okay.” I said barely above a whisper. He just continued to stare intently out the window.
Jack-
I didn’t know how to handle the fact that the girl I’m madly in love with is almost dead. When I saw her lying there, motionless, I was terrified I wouldn’t be able to hear her voice again or see her sparkling hazel eyes. It was the small things that made me fall for her. Alex kept glancing over at me.
“No, I’m not okay. The one person I love with all my heart is almost dead.” I said bitterly. I knew I hurt him when I said it. “Sorry, it’s just I’m scared shitless she’s not gonna make it.”
“Relax dude, she loves you too much to call it quits.”
Matt-
I sat in the waiting room of the hospital with my friends. Our parents were trying to get here as fast as they could. Jack and I sat isolated from everyone. I occasionally looked up at him to see that he hadn’t moved a bit. Still as a statue. I couldn’t live with myself if I knew I was the reason behind my sister’s death. All she did was fall in love with Jack and I wouldn’t let her be with him. I knew his ways, the random hook ups and partying all the time. Ever since I noticed her stop cutting, I noticed him not party. I James Matthew Flyzik killed my sister. I felt a shift in the couch. Breaking my stare from my feet I saw Zack attempt a small smile.
“Come on you were just being an older brother. Just like Rian. He won’t let me be with Sev. Britt is a strong little bitch.” I chuckled at his comment. When she was seventeen she got a concussion and was unconscious, I called her a bitch before the accident and when she woke up the first words were ‘Hey, I’m a strong little bitch.’
“I know she is. I just can’t believe I’m the reason behind this.”
“You have to talk to Jack man, he’s just not Jack without her…” I looked back over to Jack. He was a wreck more than anyone. Zack pushed me over to talk to him. I slowly got to my feet and started toward him.
“Jack.” He didn’t look up at me
“Look, I get it. You’re pissed. But don’t take it out on Brit, she means too much to me to see her hurting like that. I love her more than anything Matt. She means the world to me. Fuck, she is my world. But because she’s you’re little sister and you don’t want me to be with her, I won’t. I’ respect that, but you need to know that I’m completely in love with her. I can’t stand to see her hurting. The one condition that I had if I was to date her was her to stop the cutting. She hated my guts when I told you about it.” He started crying again. “I can’t be on tour anymore knowing you hate me. Or to bear the pain of not being with her. I quit.”
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