Through the Afterglow

I kicked my feet up on the couch, “Supernatural” blaring from my speakers and a bowl of popcorn resting in my lap. I had a long day, and had changed from my jeans and tight shirt to giant sweatpants and a big t-shirt, courtesy of my baby brother Jack.

Jazlyn had called twice, deathly afraid of stomach cancer as she puked (it turns out she ate bad cheese), and I wasn't in the maternity ward tonight, so I was stuck in the pediatric ward, which always broke my heart. Most of these kids wouldn't leave to see their third birthday. My boss, Dr. House, has given me three minutes between appointments now, because I would have to duck into an empty room to cry.

I always wanted a baby, and that's why I loved working the maternity ward. It was just one of those things that would brighten your day no matter what. Besides, I needed to know what was what if I was going to have a baby in the next few years, which is exactly what I wanted before I turned thirty. Obviously I wanted to married or be dating a boy who I was going to be with forever, but that almost didn't matter to me anymore.

I was lost in thought when my phone began to blare “Crash” by You Me At Six, my ringtone of the month. I scrambled to grab it, while pausing the TV at the same time, breathless as I answered the phone. “Hello?” I said, sounding like I had just run a mile. Which, obviously, would never happen. Oops.

“Is this Dr. Stephens?” A completely unfamiliar voice asked, but was this boy sounded really cute. Again with my overactive romantic abilities. I sighed silently. I was on call, but hey, I was hoping for a better Wednesday night, but that's okay with me.

“Yes, this is she.” I tapped my feet against the coffee table, my apartment pitch black with my laziness and inability to move my butt to turn lights on as day faded into night.

“Hey, this is Brian Dales.” My heart leaped. “I have a question about my medication...” His voice trailed off, but being a doctor taught me to just wait. “Can the medication cause a rash in, er, sensitive places?” Despite myself, I burst out laughing. I couldn't help myself.

“Do you mean your balls?” I asked, and I could just see Brian blushing. I was blunt, and I was young, and I didn't care. Brian didn't answer, so I continued on. “Yes, it can cause a rash in sensitive places, but it should only last a few days. If it lasts longer, I can get you in to see a male doctor,” I say, emphasizing male. I can hear him chuckle.

“And what if I want you?” As he speaks, Jazlyn finally answers me. Did I mention Stephen said Brian hadn't stopped talking about you?;)

I chuckle. “I'm sure we can arrange that.” I pause, the silence awkward. “How's the throat? Are you back to singing?” I ask, remembering that he was in a band with Jazlyn's boy toy, Stephen, who was equally as cute. But something about Brian made me feel … different. I can see Brian smiling.

“Yeah. It doesn't hurt nearly as bad as it did before, but it's still a little painful.” He pauses. “It's weird, but it feels cool too. How have you been? Staying healthy, I hope?” He asks, playing on the fact that I was a doctor. Normally, I would give a sarcastic laugh, but how Brian worded it, it was hilarious. Something about him was already intriguing me. I carefully worded a response, and it was lame.

“Only of course. And you, staying musical, I hope?” He laughed anyway. There was a small silence, and I keep talking. I hate silences. “So, I guess we're hanging out tomorrow with your boy Stephen and Jazlyn,” I say, and curse my New York upbringing. I was sound like I'm about to hit up a Stop & Shop or something. I hate it, and I hate how I sound like I'm in a gang. It's a pet peeve as well as something I'm insecure about.

“Yeah, I guess we are.” He sounded excited, but I can't be sure. I made a mental note to dress really hot tomorrow, and since it's my day off, I'll have time to get ready with Jazlyn. “What are you watching?” Brian asks, sounding surprised. I blush scarlet for a moment, before murmuring my answer.

“It's called Supernatural, it's probably my favorite show ever and my absolute obsession,” I say quietly, so quietly I'm surprised he hears me at all. He laughs too, but its a laugh I know well, one I hear myself using a lot. The “you're cute” laugh, which is actually more like a giggle. “Did you giggle, Mr. Dales?” I ask, and all awkwardness ceases.

“I did not!” He finally says after about five minutes of us arguing. I smile, and though he'll never see it, and probably never know, this changes things. It always would, in these beginning stages, when I had nothing to lose except another few weeks or months of searching for someone to replace them. Not that they were always so easy to replace, and besides, sometimes, I actually felt something. Which is why I was so scared right now but hey, what am I supposed to do? Just let go? No, I'll fight to the death if that's what it takes to be by his side. I wasted so much time waiting, and I wasn't going to do it anymore. I can almost hear the blush in his voice when he speaks again, “Okay, maybe I did, just a little bit. Just a tiny bit.”

I laugh, light and happy like my personality, forgetting all doubt in my system as I slowly sigh. “I can't wait for tomorrow. For a day away from the office, from everything, you know?” When Brian didn't answer immediately, I began apologizing. “I don't know why I just told you that,” I admitted finally, after at least a minute of my rambling apologies. When he answered, I was surprised at the quiet tone of his voice.

“No, I get it. Sometimes life is too much, and you just have to take a time out.”

A boy who understands me. Well, this is new.