Not Just Any Royal Pain

Chapter Three:
The Do's and Don'ts of Table Manners

I stood in front of the mirror, examining my choice of clothing for the evening. I had borrowed one of Bailey’s many dresses hanging in her closet to wear to dinner tonight with her grandmother. I heard a knock on the door and told whoever it was to come in.

“Are you ready?” I heard Bailey ask.

I turned around from facing the mirror and faced Bailey who was nicely dressed in a long, flowly light pink dress. It had a scooped neck with quarter sleeves and looked absolutely gorgeous on her. Her hair was up in a fancy swirl with rhinestone pins. Her skin was flawless as she wore red lipstick and her eyes held a silver, glittery eyeshadow. I turned away from her and looked back at the mirror, not happy with the way mine looked on me. I was wearing a midnight blue slim fitting dress that had thin straps that criss-crossed in the back. I sighed at my reflection and the fact that my hair was only in a French braid and I decided not to wear any makeup.

“You look beautiful Morning!” she exclaimed, as she came up to stand by my side.

“You really think so?” I asked, ignoring the fact that she used my first name.

“I do, but I think you need one more thing- actually make that two!”

“What would that be?” I asked her, but she motioned for me to be quiet.

I waited for a few minutes as she went out of the room to go get whatever it was that I needed. I stood examining myself in front of the mirror and criticizing everything I didn’t like about my body or the way I happened to look tonight. I was so lost in my thoughts I hadn’t heard Bailey reenter the room until I felt her putting something in my hair. I jumped from the sudden contact and let out a quiet scream.

“What’s your problem?” she asked.

“I didn’t hear you open the door.” I explained to her.

She simply laughed and continued working with my hair. I was going to ask her what she was doing, but I figured it would be better just to let her work. In another couple minutes, she was telling me to turn and face her. I did as she said and she started to put something on my lips. I looked down to see her holding a shimmery lip-gloss container.

I started to turn back to face the mirror when I thought she was done, but she stopped me. “Hold up- I’ve also got something else for you. Put these earrings on.”

She opened up her hand and I saw two silver, chandelier earrings. I looked back up at her with a questioning look.

“I always wear these when I wear that dress.” She told me, but then quickly added, “Except I’ve only worn that dress twice.”

I laughed at her, “Bailey you should know I wouldn’t care if you had worn this dress a million other times.”

“I know, but the others downstairs might.”

“Excuse me? I thought you said it was just going to be us with your grandmother.”

“There’s been a slight change in plans apparently. But don’t worry- I don’t think it’s going to be anybody very important though.” She finally informed me.

“Are you sure about that?”

“Almost positive.”

“I hope it isn’t. I might just fake sick then.”

“If you do that I will kill you.”

“Why? Then you could also leave with an excuse that you should probably check on me. Besides, I could blame it on jet lag.”

“That would work, but I doubt my grandmother would let me accompany you. She’d just get one of the maids. Now- put those on quickly because we need to go over table manners and what utensil to use and when to use it.”

I sighed, but did as she said. When we were leaving the room I also put on a pair of nude high heels that I had brought down with me.

Bailey led me to what I assumed was the servant’s kitchen because people were busily rushing around trying to finish cooking the food or getting the plates ready. She led me to a tiny table that held a plate and seven of each utensil. All I could do was stare at what was placed in front of me. There was no way that I was going to be able to remember what to use and when. Bailey explained to me that I had about twenty minutes to memorize what she was about to tell me.

“You ready?” she asked me.

“Nope.” I told her, still looking at the many utensils. “Let’s go.”

She quickly explained each utensil and what their job was. I concentrated hard on what she was telling me and watched as she picked up each one and demonstrated what to do with it. I nodded my head when she asked me if I was following and asked questions when I hadn’t. About ten minutes later she told me she was going to test me. I gave her a worried look, but she told me I would fine. I nodded my head to signal that I was ready.

“Salad has been placed in front of you- what fork do you use?” she asked.

I looked down and then quickly picked up the fork I thought was the correct answer.

“Awesome choice. OK now a bowl of soup has been placed for you to eat- what spoon?”

We did this for awhile and I had only made a minor mistake. “If worst comes to worst, just work your way from the outside in. But sometimes my grandmother will have the courses mixed up just to test her guests’ manners.

“Oh joy. She’ll probably do it tonight to test me on what I know and what I don’t know.”

“Probably.” She told me. “Come on, we have to start heading to the dining room.”

I followed her up the stairs to the main floor and down a hall and made a right turn about midway through it. All the while Bailey had been telling me what was considered dinner talk and what was inappropriate to talk about.

Finally we came across sliding doors and the two doormen opened them to show us the dining room table, where Bailey's grandmother was already sitting with two other people. I recognized the one face, but I couldn't place where I had seen it before.

"Oh shit." Bailey muttered under breath only loud enough for me to hear.