Subtle As A Shotgun, Heavy As A Brick

Josh and I had been seeing a lot of each other on the last few weeks. He would buy me ice cream after sound-check and today was just the same. “I think you are trying to make me fat.” I told him, taking another spoonful of ice cream.

“Well I wouldn’t have to if yeh weren’t so damn skinny!” he laughed. Josh was the kind of guy that was becoming like a brother to me. He took my hand in his and took me back to the bus to find Oliver.

He was just hanging up the phone when we got there. Josh greeted him and then kissed me goodbye. When he left oli asked me, “so are tha two of yeh like datin’ now or wha?”

“…not that I’m aware of” he laughed and walked towards me.

“Friday night” he said

“what’s Friday night?”

“we go home Friday night, then we go clubbing.”

“who’s we?”

“you and me and josh and the guys” he said.



Evalynn sat with josh on the way home. Matt and I were across from them. He had his arm around her and he kept leaning over to kiss her before she fell asleep on his arm. I wanted to be the one who could do cute things with her. I want her to sleep on my arm like she used to before she met him. I want to kiss her and just be there for her. I used to be that, until she met him. No doubt they were dating now.

Josh drove her home from the airport said he’d meet us at the club. We got to the club and sat at a booth. Jona ordered a round of drinks for all of us and we waited for the rest of the gang to show up. Josh and Evalynn finally got here. She smiled at me and I nearly dropped dead at the thought of her dancing with another guy. Sure enough, she did. Her and Josh we soon on the dance floor along with Vegan, Matt and their dates, leaving me alone at the table.

I watched evalynn dance with josh. That could have been me. She could have been mine, off u wasn't such a pussy. If I had told her, I would be the one she was dancing with. It bothered me, not entirely because I was jealous of him, but because he didn’t deserve her. He didn’t stick around long enough to know what her favorite color or flavor of ice cream or any of that, he was just moving right in. I knew josh and I knew he would leave her as soon as he got what he wanted – as soon as he fucked her and showed her off to all his friends.

"hey! What are you doing over her all by yourself?" She said sitting down next to me.

"I don't feel too good" I told her "I think I'm gonna go home"

"okay do you want me to drive you home?" against my better judgement I said okay. Josh came over to us soon after that.

"hey man, everything alright?" I nodded and noticed their hands were already intertwined.

"yeah, he doesn't feel good so I'm gonna drive him home."

"okay, you'll call me later, right?" she nodded in response to his question and He kissed her lightly on the lips. I stood up and She followed me out of the club. They way I was feeling right now, I could die.

I unlocked the door to my house an she followed me inside. "what's wrong oli?" she asked rubbing my arm.

"nothing, I'm fine. I juss got a headache thas all. Yeh can go back to yeh boyfriend or whatevah."

He's not my boyfriend he's just... I don't know he’s different from everyone else around here."

"yeah? Well that's fantastic. Least he's good for yeh, bettah for yeh than some bloke like me would evah be"

She furrowed her eyebrows. "It almost sounds like you're jealous"

"well fuck yeah I'm jealous Evalynn. He gets to hold yeh and kiss the whenevah he bloody wants teh. He doesn't have to be yeh best friend and pretend like, like yeh not the greatest thing in the world." Her eyes were tearing up and she looked so fragile.

"I-I don't know what to say..." I nodded, not able to look into her eyes. She walked closer to me and wrapped her arms around me. I tilted her chin up and pressed my lips gently to hers. Her hands traveled up to around my neck and mine rested firmly on her hips. Her breath caught in her throat and her fingers became tangled in my hair, like mine in hers.

I could feel the warmth radiating off her body and the softness of her lips was making me weak. She tugged at the bottom of my shirt. I lifted her up so her legs could wrap around y waist and carried her to my bedroom, kicking the door closed behind me. I laid her down on the bed and she lifted my shirt over my head, next was hers. “condom, oliver” she reminded me.

“fuck,” I muttered under my breath as I dug through the drawers of my bedside table until I found one.