Subtle As A Shotgun, Heavy As A Brick

"alright and if yeh need anything just call Matty or Tom" he said, hugging me one last time before leaving. It was six a.m. and Oli stopped over to say goodbye. He kissed the top of my head and asked if i was sure i was going to be okay.

"I'll be fine, Oli. it's only one day, I'll see you tomorrow at the airport." i reminded him. He laughed.

"yeah. that's true." he smiled and and turned to leave. We said our goodbyes and i went back to bed. It was much too early to be awake.

When i woke up again it was past noon. Shit. I still had to pack everything for tour, tell my parents i was leaving, find someone to house-sit, and go shopping before we leave early tomorrow morning.

I decided to call my parents last, maybe even on the way there, since it would probably be the longest conversation. I made a list of things i had to get at the store: shampoo, conditioner, razors, toothpaste, etc; and headed off to the supermarket. I found what most of what i was looking for but it was almost 4 so i decided to just go home.

I dialed the familiar phone number and waited for someone to answer and i started my search for a suitcase. I talked to my parents, who of course weren't happy and finished packing my bags by 11.

And that was that. Tomorrow morning I'd be on the way to the airport to see Oliver, erm i mean to leave for tour. Is it bad that he's only been gone for a day, and i already miss him?



Going on tour is possibly the greatest idea anyone has ever come up with. I got to go to concerts every night, see new places, meet new people - and i wasn't even a part of the band.

Tom and I agreed that night was a mistake so being around him wasn't awkward, in fact we were becoming very good friends. i told him everything. even about my little developing crush on Oliver.

Yes, i said it. I had a crush on Oliver. A huge crush, though I'd never admit it. Tom tried to convince me that Oli felt the same but i couldn't believe it. I spent nearly every day with Oli and he's never treated me any different. He never did anything to imply he liked me as more than a friend. I mean, we slept in each others' bunks on cold nights and he occasionally held my hand, but a lot of people did that. That was normal in England I suppose. besides, who the fuck would ever like me?

Anyways, it was the second week of tour with Bring Me The Horizon now. As you could probably guess, these boys were party-ers. Every few nights the bus was packed with people we barely knew with alcohol flowing at steady pace.

Tonight was one of those nights. The bus was packed with the other bands from the tour and a few random groupies. I made my way through a crowd of people to get to the door, when Oli spotted me.

"hey, where yeh going?" he asked sliding an arm around my waist.

"i was just going outside for a bit. what are you doing?" i laughed.

"come dance with meh" he smiled and i agreed. He led me over to a part of the bus where a few people were dancing and started moving to the music. My back was against his chest, his hands on my hips, and our hips moving together with the beat. I felt his hot breath on the back of my neck He smelled like cigarettes, alcohol, and cologne. I looked back at him and his lips pressed roughly on mine. I turned to face him and he pulled me closer.

I never thought Oli would kiss me again. We did it once, a few weeks after i moved here, but i was still with Noah and he was with his girlfriend Amanda. It meant nothing back then besides forming my crush. He had apologized right after and we agreed it wouldn't be good idea for it to happen again anytime soon.

His hands slid up my shirt. "oli.." i started but his lips pressed hard against mine again and i forgot my words. His tongue entered my mouth and i forgot every care in the world, until someone cleared their throat. We pulled apart and saw vegan standing next to us with a smirk on his face. Oli gave him a death glare before he walked away.

"sorreh, i guess we got a little carried away" he smirked.

"yeah. i'm gonna go get something to drink." i gave him a small smile and found my way to the fridge. I downed my first drink of the night, then my second, third, and fourth. I wasn't completely wasted but i was definitely on my way there. The party was dying down a bit so i decided to go lay down.

I opened the curtain to Oli's bunk and found him half naked with a girl. I quickly shut it and ran outside. I found one of the picnic tables they had set up outside and sat down. Then the tears started. I don't even know why i was crying. it's not like i had expected him to like me the way i liked him. it's not like i expected him to completely forget about girls just because he kissed me.

I was at the picnic for about an hour before someone came and sat down across from me.

"what are yeh doing out 'ere, love?" i looked up to see matt nicholls. He gave me a small smile before noticed my eyeliner and tear stained cheeks. "what's wrong?"

""i just walked in on oli and some girl.." i admitted. "i don't even know why i'm crying.."

"i think you like oli just a little more than yeh'd care to admit." he said sympathetically.

I nodded. "i know i do matt. i like him alot." i wiped my eyes and sighed, not meeting his eyes.

"evalynn what happened?" he asked.

"we were just dancing and then.. he kissed me." i looked up at him. His eyes bore deep into mine.

"we should go inside, the bus is leavin' soon" he said, standing up.

"matt, if i tell you something, can you promise not to tell the guys?" i stared down at the picnic table in front of me.

"course" he said. he wrinkled his forehead and sat back down.

"i think... i think i'm falling in love with him." i met his eyes. He just nodded and we walked back into the tour bus.