I Hate To Be The One To Bear The Bad News

"Delia will you calm down! Please!"

I couldn't stop walking, I couldn't look back. I was afraid to look behind me scared that Max would be following me.

"I- I don't know what to d-do'' I suddenly stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, my chest felt tighter then usual.

I started to hyperventilate, in public.

"Calm down. Breathe." Maggie finally caught up to me, pulling me into a small ally way. We sat on the ground. She tried to help me calm down. It felt like every feeling I had was rushing out of me and stopping me from breathing. My fingers were tingling. I can't believe this, I can't believe how I got myself into this fucked up mess.

I still hadn't told Ronnie, ugh Ronnie. I love him so much. We talk on the phone whenever we can, but I still haven't told him I slept with his best friend. What the fuck.

"So much for a nice lunch. That fucker." She brushed my bangs out of my eyes and rubbed my back. My breathing started to get back to normal, finally.

People were peaking at me from the corner, asking if I needed help and whispering to each other about me having a mental break down on a main street of downtown.

"I'm okay" I took a deep breath and nodded at Maggie, showing her I was kind of alright, alright enough to get up by myself and walk back to my house with her.

"How many blocks did we walk?" She stuck her middle finger up at me, obviously showing she was pissed off.

"Seven. You RAN and I dragged my ass down seven blocks apologizing to people you shoved out of your way."

I bit my lip, frowning at her and giving her puppy eyes through my dimmed sunglasses.

"Its fine. I needed a work out anyways. Let's go champ."

She stood up, reaching her hand and grabbing mine. When I stood up and brushed my bottom off, I heard one of our phones beep.

We both checked in sync. My inbox was empty.

"Its Craig," She smiled and bit her lip. She really likes him, he's a good guy.

"He wants to meet up with us, he said he saw us but didn't get to say hi because we were walking away to fast. Wanna get some drinks with us? Forget about Max?"

Yeah and watch them makeout the entire time, I'm not game.

"No. You guys can have alone time. I'll be fine." I started to walk down the ally and head back up the street, my house wasn't far.

"No please come with me, I'm not ready for 'alone' time with him yet. I promise we'll include you, swear."

Yes or no. Which one. Do I go out? or stay in and sob, rip Max's shirt's up he has at my house, delete every facebook picture we have together, or get plastered...

"Fine."

--

I stood in front of the mirror eyeing my butt which looked very nice in these shorts.

I had black tights on, high wasted shorts of course, zebra Doc Martens, a Nirvana tank top, and my favorite jean jacket Ronnie got me.

I decided to curl my hair tonight, the loose dark spirals laid on my chest like I was some sort of mermaid. I looked nice. Dark black eyeliner, I looked very grungy.

"Ready to go cutie?" Maggie walked out of my bathroom while putting in a silver hoop earing. She wore denim skinnies, white tank top, ankle boots with blue socks that she rolled all the way down, and a leather jacket with some sort of diamond like design on the back. Her hair was in a messy but cute bun plopped on the top of her head.

I sighed and scratched my head. Was I? Was this a good idea, to go out and drink. Not knowing where I'll be by the end of the night? I rarely go out to bars, I'm usually with Ronnie at bars, but I don't drink to much. One of us had to be the sober one, and it was me. But I needed this, more then anything. To get away from everyone, get away from myself.

"One last touch"

I pulled out my bright red lipstick and drew it perfectly on my lips. It really made my new dark hair pop. I loved it, I loved how I looked tonight. Tonight was all about me, no Max, no Ronnie, no boys. Just me.

"You look great Dee. Now let's GO"

She grabbed my hand and dragged me out of my room.

---

"Craig said he'd be here in a bit." Maggie and I waited outside our favorite bar, The Model. It was very punky, lots of guys who looked like Sid Vicious walked in and out of the doors eyeing both of us. I got asked for my number a few times, but I declined. Some girl even knew me as Ronnie Radke's girlfriend. she proceeded to ask me if he killed someone, it was obnoxious.

''We've only been here for 35 minutes, I can wait another hour '' Sarcasm dripped from my lips. I was tired of waiting. I'm pretty damn patient but waiting 35 minutes for Sir Craig Mabbitt to get here, a local bar was a little much.

"Oh hush. He just texted me saying to go in and get drinks, he's around the corner."

I walked towards the doors, my favorite bouncer was standing next to the door.

"Delia, how old are you tonight?"

"21" I stood there giving him a cute puppy face.

"yeah yeah. go in, you know who to get drinks from. You're lucky I like you kid, when will you actually be 21?" He folded his arms against his chest, raising an eyebrow at me

"Two weeks, don't worry." I chuckled. I almost forgot I was turning 21 in two weeks. That's a big deal, I can finally go into any bar I so choose and buy a drink. The Model is the only bar I can really get into without sneaking behind friends.

"Mags, I'm going in. You can wait. But you better not leave me in there with all these freaks."

"Ay ay captain" She blew me a kiss and went back to texting Craig.

I walked through the doors of The Model, it was really packed tonight. The colored walls danced around me. I headed straight for the bar.

Sally stood behind the bar pouring drinks into cups. We nick named her Speedy Gonzales. She was a skinny red head, 34, three kids. She was like a mom to me sometimes, a mom to my wild side I should say. Whenever I go crazy, she's the one holding my hair. Sweet right? Everyone gets out of hand sometimes... and she'd only held my hair twice.

"Delia my cupcake! I'm so sorry to hear about Ronnie, broke my heart. What'll it be tonight?" I walked over to her and sat on a stool that was nailed to the floor. It had red sparkly seats, like a 50's diner.

"Its alright, I guess. I'm doing the best I can. Uh, surprise me. Something sweet" I then flashed her a sweet smile and spun around, looking at everyone dancing. I usually dance, with Ronnie when I'm here. It doesn't feel right anymore, and I'm definitely not dancing with random guys. So much for tonight being about me, this is the first night that all I can think about is Ronnie. I miss him.

--
Max's POV;

"Do you honestly think this is the best place to be meeting someone who doesn't even know I'm coming? A public bar?" My hands were shaking like crazy. She didn't even wanna see me. She's going to be even more angry now, an angry drunk. even worse.

"Dude, what did you expect? her house? She wanted to go to The Model, so we're here. Now get your ass out of the car." Craig stood in front of the car door, trying to get me out of it. I didn't want to do this. Well I did but I didn't want to do it in this way..

"Fine fuck!" I slid out of the car, slamming the door. Craig gave me a bitchy look, I returned it.

"Now just go in there and talk to her. Louder the music, less you can hear her hateful words.." He shrugged and showed the bouncer his ID.

I sighed heavily, flashing him my ID too. Tonight I looked better then I have in a while, hair done, eyeliner perfect, more punked out then usual. Since Craig told me we were going to The Model, I pulled out my jean vest and my leopard printed vans, special occasion wear.

When I walked in after Craig the music boomed at me, Depeche Mode was blasting from the speakers that hung in ever corner of the bar. I liked The Model a lot, it was home, well the closest to home a bar can get..

I made my way through all the dancing people. Getting checked out by both men and women who brushed up against me. I still had no idea what I'm going to say to Delia. This is the worst possible idea ever. She'd probably slap me and never speak to me again, like she should. I should be treated like crap. Everything between her and I was worse then it was before.

Craig and I finally made our way to the bar. I was at the end, then it was Craig next to me, and some blonde girl, I couldn't see her face though. Then a girl with zebra Doc Martens that looked just like the ones I bought..... Delia.

I gulped, hiding my face.

Craig nudged me;

"Talk to her!" He shouted in my ear, it seemed more like an angry whisper because of the loud music and talking.

I nodded, getting up off the stool and walking over to her. I can't believe I'm doing this. I look like an idiot. This is stupid. I can't do this.

I was about to turn away and head for the door when I bumped into someone.

"Ssorry! I didn't mean to!" The flashing lights were going crazy, I couldn't tell who I knocked over until she stood right in front of me. Delia looked like she was about to cry, scream, and just punch me in the face all at the same time. Instead she pushed me out of the way and went running for the door.

I shouldn't have come here.