Remind Me

I laid in bed, thinking about everything. Jeff, before Jeff, our future together... Luke. 

I knew I had to tell Jeff. Hiding something like this would make it all worse. 

There was no easy way to do this though. 

I decided to send him a text explaining why I acted so jumpy when we got back to his place and why I was so eager to leave.  He needed to know that it wasn't anything having to do with him. 

He deserved to know the truth.

I picked up my phone and found our texts 'Jeff<3'.

I began typing...

'Before I say anything, I need to tell you that this is the hardest thing I have ever had to do.  To say it has nothing to do with you would be wrong, because I want to be with you. I love you and that is making it harder for me to tell you what is going on. I don't want you to get mad and leave me, but you deserve to know the truth.  Three weeks ago, I was out with Sam at a birthday party.  This guy and I were together all night and when Sam took her boyfriend to our place, I went home with the guy I had been with that evening, Luke. I don't know how it happened, or even why, we didn't know each other before then and it isn't something I do... ever. But it happened. We slept together and now I am 'late'. I didn't know what to do and I haven't told anyone except one of the nurses at the hospital who got me an appointment for a pregnancy blood test tomorrow. The worst part of all is that I am not going back to that guy. The Luke guy. The babies father, if I am really pregnant. I will do it by myself.  I know that this is a lot to take in, but I just hope that either way, you will at least talk to me. I don't want to lose you Jeff, but I understand if you can't stick around if this ends up being real.'

I sent it and underneath the message, the word DELIVERED. There was no turning back now.

I went to the bathroom, brushed my teeth, and came back. 

I picked up my phone and now underneath the message was the word READ. 

I watched and waited eagerly for the indicator to come up that he was typing back. 

Nothing.

~~~

I woke up late that next morning, and had only 20 minutes to get to the hospital. 

I threw on an outfit and ran out the door, getting in my car and driving there as quickly as I could.

I even forgot to let Puck outside.

At the stoplight just before I pulled into the parking lot, I remembered that my phone had died last night since I fell asleep with it, never plugging it in to charge. 

I pulled out the car charger I had and just as the light was turning green, I plugged it into my phone. 

I parked the car and ram inside.

This was it. 

~~~

I came out and unlocked my car, getting inside.  The second I at down, tears started running down my face as I broke down. 

I sat there crying, thinking about what would happen when I got the results back. What if it comes back positive? 

If it was positive, I would lose Jeff. He doesn't want to raise a baby, he can't.  And I am now jobless and would be a single mother. It can be done, but I am not strong enough to take care of a baby alone.

If it was negative, though, what if Jeff didn't want to have anything to do with me? What of he thought I was just easy and in it for the 'fun' not a real relationship. He isn't about that. 

I looked down and turned on my phone. It buzzed with 2 messages... Both from Jeff. 

I sat there staring at my screen for 10 minutes before building up enough courage to unlock my phone and see what they said. 

'I love you.' 

'No matter what.'

Next thing I knew I was knocking on his door.