My Only One

Jack-
That one moment was on replay in my mind for the past year. I couldn’t get over it. No matter what I did.
Flashback-
“Okay, look, I know I just gave you the promise ring, but I can’t do this. I love you so fucking much and I know you love me. I need to know that every time I go on tour that you’ll be there when I get home. I need to know that when I wake up in the morning I’ll wake up to you.” I blurted. “Will you marry me?” I looked up at my girlfriend hoping she would say yes.
“I’m sorry Jack.” She said barely above a whisper. “I can’t marry you. I’m so sorry.” She started crying. I got up and pushed past her and walked to my mother’s car.
End of Flashback.
I left her standing there. She wasn’t ready to be married or engaged. She just wanted to keep things the way they were. If I hadn’t left her standing there, she would have still been in my life. I regret leaving the love of my life there. If I never proposed she wouldn’t have left.
“Jack! Get your ass up!” Flyzik threw a pillow at me. “Come on, you have a show to do.”
“He’s still moping about Brittany.” Alex sighed. “Come on Jack, you have to move on.” I groaned in annoyance as my friends kept talking about her. All I wanted was for her to be back in my life. I wanted her to come on tour with me when she could. I couldn’t have any of that now. She was gone and out of my life.
“I’m coming.” I slowly got up and made my way to the front of the bus.
“Jack, it’s been five years.” Zack said quietly. “She wouldn’t want you to be upset.”
“She didn’t want to be with me either.” I retorted.
“She ran because she was scared Jack! She didn’t know what to say. You know she went through a lot. She was scared of commitment. She didn’t want to end up like her parents.” Rian nearly yelled. “She loved you. She still does.”
“How do you know?” I looked at him skeptically. “Are you talking to her?” He looked down.
“Yeah. I didn’t want to tell you because-”
“Because why?! You know how much it kills me that I can’t talk to her or see her! Anyone else still talking to her?!” I glared at my so called friends. They nodded.
“All she does is ask about you.” Alex added. “She still misses you. We told her to come out to see a show but she’s too afraid of what would happen when she saw you.”
“Yeah right. Did you see how I just left her at graduation? She probably thinks I’m the biggest asshole on the face of the earth.” I slumped down on the couch. “How is she?” I raised an eyebrow.
“She’s great. She still misses you, like we’ve been telling you. She is somewhat talking to her parents.” Alex explained.
“They’re still fighting with her? Damn, I hope she handled everything well… Remember when we found the razor in her room?” I looked at my hands. They nodded.
“Jack, we all know you love this girl. Get off your lazy ass and go get her!” Danny pointed to the door. I chuckled quietly.
“I wish it were that easy. I have no clue where she is. I don’t even know if she would want to see me. What if she has a new boyfriend? What if she’s engaged?” I nearly choked on ‘engaged’, it brought back the memory at graduation.
“She’s single. She told me she hasn’t been able to go out with anyone since you.” Alex sat next to me. “Jacky, Jacky, Jacky… You and Brittany need to just go and fuck and make up.” I rolled my eyes at him.
“I’m not just gonna go up to her and be like ‘Hey, let’s fuck and make up.’ Even if I was to go try to talk to her. What would I say? What would I do to prove to her I’m still in love with her like I was in high school?”
“You don’t have to say much. She loved you then she loves you now. She’s even told me this herself.” He stood up defiantly. “Now we have a show to do. Then you will get your lady back.”
“Holy shit, Jack! You look happy.” Evan joked. I flipped him off.
“Evan, you’re a fucking asshole.” I said and stepped off the bus. As I was walking toward the stage, every brunette that walked past me reminded me of her. I couldn’t help but to think back to our first show away from Maryland. She was right there in the front. I thought about the night I kissed her and ran away. I had a habit of fucking things up with her. I finally had her and I let her go. I can’t believe I could be so stupid. After the show, we had an interview with Buzznet.
“If you could relive any moment of you high school life, what would it be and why?” The interviewer asked. The guys all looked at me sympathetically. “Something wrong?”
“No. It’s just, in high school, I was dating this really amazing girl. She meant everything to me. Then at graduation, I asked her to marry me. I knew ever since I knew I was in love, I was going to make her my wife. But she rejected me. She told me she wasn’t ready to get married. She wanted to wait a little while. So I broke up with her. I left her standing there. Heartbroken.” I tried to explain. A few tear had escaped my eyes. “So yeah, if I could relive any high school moment it’d be that. I wouldn’t have taken off on her. If I didn’t we would’ve most likely been together today.” Rian put a hand on my shoulder and everyone else remained quiet. I hoped that she would see this and she would see I’m still hopelessly in love with her.